Virus warning

There is a virus making the rounds that turns an otherwise polite individual into someone who exhibits all the qualities of a dick. To a polite question they offer stunning silence without any pretense at civility. This is not an isolated outbreak but is pandemic and can attack without warning or explanation. People who were formerly friendly and sociable suddenly show all the social grace of a misanthrope and becomes particularly misogynistic.

There are two eclipses expected this month, a lunar eclipse on Sept. 7 and a partial solar eclipse on Sept. 22. In astrological parlance, eclipses signal the beginning/ending of certain aspects of life. It is my hope this outbreak of the dick virus will end on Thursday. If, however, it does not, and continues its virulent course, I have no other options but to refuse communication with those who are infected with the virus so as not to be affected.

Please beware. Neither the U. S. Department of Health nor the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta will issue this warning. They are already infected. Let's be careful out there.

That is all. Disperse.