Friday, December 28, 2012
Sneak preview: The Remittance Man
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
From The End of the World to Possibility
This last year jittered on the edge of a big bang that fizzled just as surely as the predicted computer apocalypse of 1999. I never believed the whole end of the world portents and fear because I knew that the end of the Mayan calendar was the beginning of a new age and a new calendar. The Mayans were entrenched in the practice of planned obsolescence. Their calendars lasted for an entire age and, as Xmas is over and the last days of 2012 tick to the end of another year, I am poised for possibilities.
I don't do new year's resolutions because they always amount to the same thing: lose weight, publish more books, become a wealthy and famous author whose name is on the tongues of billions, and write the kind of books that will become -- and remain -- classics. The only one in that list of wants that has any chance of happening is publishing more books. I have 3, and possibly 4, books poised to be published in 2013, one of which was postponed from this year due to death, too much working for a paycheck, and loss of steam. Losing my 2-year-old grandson Connor took the wind out of my sails and it has taken a long time to find the energy and the will to keep going. Sending my son David Scott the stocking I cross stitched for Connor helped a lot. It was closing the last page on a very long book that ended on a sad but hopeful note.
That is where I am right now, poised on a hopeful note as I look forward to 5 days off after working every holiday this year, including Xmas.
The political horizon gives me no hope since the same greedy oligarchs are still in power and moving on with their plans to demoralize, diminish, and destroy the United States of America in the name of greed and ephemeral power. There is little hope on the economic horizon even with the price of gas below $3.00 for the first time in years. And there is even less hope on the war front in spite of more and more soldiers coming home from Afghanistan and the black wars that few of us know about.
If I smoked pot, which I do very rarely (twice in the past 15 years), I could look forward to buying and smoking at least an ounce of marijuana without being thrown in jail. I could look forward to a year without another death in my family, although, considering the past 5 years, I doubt that is realistic. I could look forward to just about anything, but I will hang onto what I know for sure.
The mild winter here in Colorado took a nose dive with a real white Xmas and Xmas snow. That was enough to put a smile on my face and to give me hope for the future when everything out in the real world has been nothing if not daunting. This being my last work day of 2012 also helps broaden the smile and I heave a sigh of relief that I will be able to stop racing against the clock and fretting that I don't have enough time to get settled into the work mode for another night shift. I have 5 days, 2 of them weekend days, to relax and let this year settle, much like a heavy dinner.
My grandson is still gone, and so is my mother, appropriately on Friday the 13th last January, but I have plans. Last year was filled with preparation for this Xmas. I bought the materials and stitched my way through 7 Xmas stockings, a few ornaments for the kiddies, and gathering together the gifts that would go with the stockings (which were a hit by the way). I was surprised that my oldest grandson, Jordan, actually wants a stocking. I didn't make one for him since he's a teenager. I guess my friend Mary Ann was right and kids never outgrow wanting a stocking to hang on the mantel with care even when the hope of St. Nicholas has given way to teenage pragmatism and the belief in Old St. Nick has waned. There is always room for a stocking no matter the age.
I need a new project, or at least a good idea for next year, since this year is going to be hard to top, hence the books. I have let 3 books languish over the past months of this year and it's time to take up my pen, poise my fingers over the keyboard, and get down to business. I'll never become a wealthy and famous author unless I get back to basics: reading, writing, and more writing -- not to mention editing. The book covers are done. All I need to do is fill the pages that go between the covers, and I can do that. That magical Xmas snow helped put me in the right frame of mind.
There are other plans afoot for 2013. I have to convince Beanie to bring her boys with her and spend Xmas out here in Colorado with me. I want to share an old-fashioned Xmas with my family. I might even invite my boys and their kids -- as long as they understand they won't be able to stay here with me since space is limited. I'd need a much bigger house to host 9 grandchildren, 3 sons and their wives/girlfriend, Beanie and her 2 boys, and maybe her fiance's 2 boys and the fiance, not to mention my granddaughter Sierra's maternal grandparents, since I'm sure they would not want to be left out. Too bad I'm not wealthy already because I could rent one of the big cottages out at the Broadview or maybe a big modern cabin up in the mountains at Tabernash. Now that would be perfect, and another reason for me to get on the ball and finish more books.
That glistening carpet of white beneath the winter sun on Xmas day flashed with emerald, ruby, and diamond lights and the whole neighborhood was hushed. The only mark in the snow was where Santa's sleigh drove through the parking lot that surrounds my cottage (flying reindeer don't leave tracks) and stopped in front of my house. Even though I had to work Xmas day, the time went by quickly and visions of Xmas future grew in my head. I have work to do -- a lot of it -- and I'm ready for whatever challenge 2013 brings. Plans are being roughed out and will be filled in as the new year progresses and next Xmas will be better than this one, especially if there will be Xmas snow.
Whatever you plan for the next year, or even for tomorrow, be ready for hurdles and detours and meet them with hope and a smile. Hope and smiles can cut through the toughest times, especially when the end is a year of family -- and so much more.
Happy New Year. I'm ready for 2013 now.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Christmas for One
An old friend popped up on Facebook earlier this week asking to be friended. Normally, I don't friend anyone I don't know and this person knew only 2 people on my list. I have standards, and yet something kept niggling at me to check him out. I went to his profile and the 2 people we shared in common were two people I respect and admire. I said yes to his friend request, and then he sent me a message.
As we chatted, I realized I knew him and hadn't heard from him in a couple years. He used to buy a lot of my blog posts and articles for his website. He's another someone I respect and admire, and we share a great deal in common. This year, we share being away from family and home for the holidays, he by choice and I because I have been traveling farther and farther from my hometown and what is left of my family. He asked me to write about what it was like to celebrate Christmas and the holidays alone without family.
I don't remember all the holidays I have spent without my family, but I do remember the first holiday here in Colorado alone at the cabin. That was really alone because I knew no one in the area and the people in Winter Park I knew had their own families. I wasn't about to horn in on their holidays. I'm sure they would have included me if I'd dropped a tear and a sniffle along with a whine in their direction, but I decided not to intrude.
I didn't have a cut Christmas tree that year and was feeling especially sad that year because I'd decided not to have a tree when it dawned on me that I had lots of trees surrounding the cabin, and one really perfect balsam pine that would look lovely decorated. I didn't have much money since I was laid off a few months before so buying ornaments was not happening. I had to save the money for food. What I could do was take some of that food and decorate the tree the old fashioned way, so I got busy.
I shelled nuts, scooped out oranges to make orange baskets, popped corn and strung it on thread (I had a lot of thread), strung cranberries, and thoroughly enjoyed myself making edible ornaments for the tree in the yard.
It snowed heavily a week before Christmas, but I packed all my ornaments into the canvas bags I used at the grocery store and trudged through waist high drifts to the tree. The rest of the bags were ready inside the French doors onto the deck; the tree was close enough to the deck for me to decorate the top and I was ready to go.
Orange baskets filled with peanut butter, suet, and seeds were hung on the branches with care. Strings of cranberries and popcorn festooned the branches from top to the bottom branches still above the snow. Home made suet and seed bells came next and I decked out the tree with strings of peanuts in the shell and little lettuce baskets filled with shelled nuts. In spite of the cold, and losing the feeling in my legs and hips, I sang Christmas carols and whistled while I worked, finishing up the decorations at the top of the tree from the deck, and tossing the rest of the garlands in somewhat graceful loops down the tree.
By the time I was back in the cabin and thawing in front of the stove, the sun was down and the stars came out in glittering stars like a treasure chest of jewels scattered across an endless black sky like midnight velvet. The moon rose and glowed across the snow, softening the hard edges of melted dunes and sun struck drifts.
With a large mug of hot cocoa in hand, I wrapped up in a blanket and walked out into the crisp cold of the winter night and stopped on the threshold. The night was alive with whisperings and snufflings and shuffling among the snow. The first animals of Christmas Eve had arrived and filled the night with their sounds of curiosity and pleasure. I slipped back inside the cabin and quietly shut the door so as not to disturb my first visitors and I pulled the recliner close to the windows so I could watch the celebration.
I fell asleep in the chair and woke Christmas morning with the sun streaming down from a pale blue sky. I got up and looked out and the tree was swarming with birds, pine martens, and mule deer as they came to the feast. The animals cleared everything from the tree over the following days until it was clear of all but empty string and the shreds of orange cup empty of contents.
I didn't mind being alone that year and, every time I think about another Christmas without family when I have to work, I remember that magical winter when I celebrated Christmas with the animals.
I miss living at the cabin when it's cold and dreary here at the foot of the mountains and the soft, silent perfection of a new snowfall is spattered with dirt and muddy water, and another day of work lies ahead with too little to look forward to, knowing I can look back on Christmases and Yules spent with friends while I look forward to sharing the holidays with my friends scattered here and there around the planet. I know that even though I have to work and will spend another holiday alone, I am not alone. Billions of families and groups of friends are gathering to share their gifts and meals in honor of this midwinter festival when the nights are the longest and we are farthest from the sun, and when a silent night can be filled with the wonder of sharing the holiday with whoever -- and whatever -- are there, and with memories of times long past and those yet to be.
Merry Christmas. Merry Yule. Happy Chanukah. Happy Holidays.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Review: The Map of the Sky by Felix J. Palma
Herbert George Wells intends to meet the American writer who wrote a sequel to War of the Worlds and Wells intends to give Serviss a large piece of his mind. Wells is livid at not only how it was done but also that Serviss turned his book into a showcase for American excess. When Wells and Serviss meets, the American excites Wells’ passions and his curiosity in a different way, a way that ends with an inebriated Wells being led to London’s Museum of Natural History to see a real Martian spacecraft and a dead Martian. An accident, a cut, and a drop of blood fuel a new trilogy of stories that begins in Antarctica and ends with a Martian invasion. As with The Map of Time when Felix J. Palma used H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine as the basis of his trilogy of tales, once again Palma goes to Wells to find inspiration for The Map of the Sky.
Not content with using Wells as his only inspiration, Palma adds Edgar Allan Poe, The Thing from Outer Space (also known as The Thing, a 1950s science fiction tale of horror), and a bit of Jules Verne to the mix. It seems there are no stories, writers, or movies that will not be used to fuel Palma’s trilogies, and yet The Map of the Sky is still fresh, if a bit over written in the Victorian style.
As soon as I realized the genesis of the first part of this trilogy came from the movie, The Thing, I expected a rehash of the movie. What I found was a fresh viewpoint and characters, although some retained the original names, although the story was set in Antarctica instead of the Arctic. Though there were no planes, flame throwers, or electricity, Palma managed to dispatch the alien with dynamite—and then stopped dead and rewrote the ending so that the Martian would end up in the London museum for Wells to awaken. Sheer guts and a bit of genius changed my mind, and I continued to read.
The Map of the Sky is a heady stew of the familiar spiced with eccentricity and Victorian excess that is sure to thrill, chill, and enchant.
Sunday, December 02, 2012
A Season of Thanks
It is the season of giving -- and depression. It is not just the lack of sun as the nights grow longer moving closer to the winter solstice, but the lack of resources that makes us unhappy. Those who have give and those who have not . . . say nothing and hide. People never realize how little it takes to say thank you and believe that giving something of less cost would be rude. The best thing, many people believe, is to do and say nothing and nothing could be farther from the truth. Manners and kindness cost very little.
Who among us would but put out or frown when receiving a letter from a friend or acquaintance, something that did not for once contain a bill, but a piece of someone life shared in a few lines of type or handwriting? I always smile when I go to the mailbox and find, instead of bills and a mountain of catalogs and advertisements, a card or a letter. That someone took the time to write -- or type -- a letter means so much.
I prefer to write my notes and letters longhand, although I have in the past typed up letters and sent them. I carried on long correspondences with many writers, friends, and family. Sadly, many of those pen pals are gone, but I still keep writing. It costs very little to write a letter or send a card, a few pennies for the envelope and paper and 45 cents for the stamp. A small cost, but a very big reward in strengthening the ties of friendship and sending a bit of our lives and memories into another's safe keeping. If you cannot afford a computer (rare these days), there are lots of libraries around that will let you use their computers and the cost for printing out the letters is about 10 cents a page, at least at our local library. I have often used the library for research and when my computer is being repaired and I wanted to get something out as soon as possible. Add 45 cents for the stamp and instant happiness, or as instant as it ever gets with the U. S. Snail.
If someone in better financial circumstances sends a gift at birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays -- like the holidays coming up -- I was taught a thank you card is the best way to say thank you, and yet gifts are sent and the recipients seldom even acknowledge the gift with a text message, IM, or mention on Facebook. A handwritten or typed card is obviously out of the question, and yet good manners cost nothing.
Perhaps the recipient is unable or uncomfortable with writing. A phone call works as well. In a small way, it is rather like going to the doctor for a biopsy or tests and because there is nothing wrong the doctor never calls, thinking that if the news was bad you would expect a call. No news is good news. In the matter of a personal gift, no news is quite simply no news . . . and pretty rude. Don't get me wrong. I often prefer rude, but only when polite responses are ignored. There is a time for rude and a time for thanks. Telling the difference is fairly simple.
Yet, what if you cannot respond in kind to a friend's gift? Isn't it better to stay silent than to expose your poverty? No. Not ever. Think how you would feel if you sent a friend a gift -- or gifts over several years -- and received neither a thank you nor a gift in exchange? How would you feel?
Inexpensive gifts are just as precious as ostentatious and expensive gifts. So you can't afford that 250-foot yacht or the diamond studded toilet seat with the built-in warmer and cell phone charging station, there are lots of other options.
Homemade gifts are the best, be it food for friends and family nearby or a handmade card. A gift of found items fashioned into jewelry or Xmas tree ornaments is always acceptable. Some of my favorite ornaments are those made by friends or even ones I made in more difficult times. One such time, I made a set of ornaments for Beanie, my youngest sister, and she still uses them on her tree every year. I made the ornaments out of scraps and bought 12 grapevine wreaths for about $1.00 and the result was more than 20 years of memories -- for both of us. A homemade gift card for housecleaning for someone who is working extra jobs or shifts to make ends meet or someone having health problems is a wonderful gift, rather like offering to do chores for a brother or sister in exchange for a favor later. In that case, the favor would be a heartfelt thank you for a gift you received from them instead of a night off doing dishes because you want to go to a movie or on a date. Different times, different reasons, but the result is the same -- everyone is happy with the swap.
A $5 or $10 gift card for coffee or lunch is a wonderful thank you and gift. You might even consider such a gift card for soldiers who will spend their holidays overseas. I'm a big fan of Cup of Joe at Green Beans and budget a little to send a hot cup of coffee to say my thanks for all the soldiers do standing in harm's way on foreign shores.
There are times when a phone call and a chat that lasts more than 5 minutes is a welcome gift and a wonderful way to say thank you. These days, the call costs next to nothing, and hearing a friendly voice is always welcome, even if it is just to offer thanks or catch up. If there is time for watching television, there is time for a phone call. My Uncle Bob doesn't write letters, but whenever he receives a letter from me, he calls and we talk and catch up for a little while. I cherish those moments and the thought behind the call. I haven't seen him in a very long time because I don't get back east very often, but we keep in touch, me with my letters and he with his phone calls. Memories like that are priceless.
In this day and age with all the wondrous methods of keeping in touch, it is sad to say that we have lost touch with simple manners. There really are no good excuses, just excuses. If you can't write, type. If you can't type, call. If all else fails, let the people that matter to you know their gifts, their caring, and the time they took to remember you with a gift or a card or a letter means something to you. Keep in touch.
As Reese Witherspoon says, "Good manners cost nothing but are worth everything," a sentiment I hope we all will remember during this holiday season. Make this a season of thanks.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Taking Back the Backlist
When the heirs to A. A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh and Steinbeck's works went to court in 2009, they wanted to vacate publishing rights and regain control of the works and money generated. Milne's heirs failed to win against Disney studios and the Supreme Court refused to hear Steinbeck's heirs case.
The window for filing to regain author rights signed over to publishers is fast approaching and authors like Stephen King, Judith Krantz, John Le Carre, and Ken Follett could be making a run for the border with their back list in hand, or so says Jeff John Roberts in his recent article. What this means for publishers is a season of loss and court cases unless publishers make some very sweet deals with authors to retain copyrights to billions of dollars of best sellers and big name authors. Considering what that will mean to the bottom line -- and to digital rights -- is likely forcing publishers to crack the whip over their legal eagles to burn the midnight oil and find a solution that will allow them to keep control of their biggest cash cows.
While big name authors make money on the front end, it is the back list, those books that comprise the body of the authors' years of work, that keep the money flowing into publishers' pockets. Authors have gotten rich, but publishers get richer off backlists. Losing backlists, in addition to the control of ebook royalties and rights, in light of their short-sightedness over the longevity and viability of ebooks and the way the public has embraced the digital format, would be a near fatal blow. After all, ebooks were supposed to be a fad and not the multi-billion dollar business that it has become.
It is doubtful that big name writers will want to spend their days -- or their money -- paying lawyers and going to court, and publishers will be all too happy to use that issue to keep control. However, never say never.
This next year, 2013, looks to be a big year for publishing, a bigger year perhaps than previous years when more and more writers jumped the big publishing ship to go independent and cut publishers out of the digital revolution. There are loopholes (there are always loopholes) that publishers will be more than happy to exploit, but it is more likely that authors will negotiate to get a bigger slice of the pie that they worked so hard to fill -- and from which they have been excluded. Publishers deserve to benefit from their part in publishing and marketing the books that reside in their backlist, but not in perpetuity. I look forward to seeing how many authors will jump ship and sell their backlists in digital format for a fraction of what publishers continue to gouge out of an increasingly cash strapped public.
The heirs to Milne's Winnie the Pooh may have lost to Disney, but the outcome of future cases has yet to be decided.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
At the Heart of Every Story
My favorite stories are usually intergenerational, like Andre Norton's Witch World series and Marion Zimmer Bradley's Darkover series. Then there's Anne McCaffrey's dragons of Pern and, my latest favorite, George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, which is all about family drama.
I don't think there is a more far reaching and intricately connected intergenerational science fiction series than Frank Herbert's Dune series, and his torch is now being carried by his son Brian. Even J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and the stories set in Middle Earth had at the heart families, the short lived families of Hobbits, like Bilbo and Frodo with cousins, Merry and Pippin, and the ever faithful retainer Samwise Gamgee. The horse lords of the Riddermark and the immortal elves and their families and intertwined relationships made what was supposed to be a world changing adventure story so much more.
Science fiction and fantasy have always been my first loves because they take family to new heights and to the farthest reaches of the universe and the mind and remain always stories about families and family drama. Feuds and romance, war and faith, they are all in there. Without the smaller canvas (even when it spreads out in all directions) of family, adventure stories would just be stories of the moment. Add family, like the triplets born of a Witch who turned her back against the might of the ruling witches to fall in love with and marry a mortal man and still retain her power though she lost her jewel, and invest those triplets with powers and strengths (and weaknesses) of their own and a simple story turns into so much more, and so much less than just magic and mayhem. People are at the heart, the very core of fiction.
Where there are people there are families. None of can truly claim to have popped into existence without familial ties, even though those ties often bind, gag, and even strangle. Those ties can weave a platform that can boost us to the stars and the farthest reaches of imagination.
I doubt I can choose one writer or one intergenerational story that is the best or the closest to my heart, not with Marissa Meyer turning Cinderella into a story with so much breadth and family, both in stepmother and stepsisters and in a family on the moon struggling for power and ultimately control. Where would Cinderella be, and indeed Cinder, without stepmother and stepsisters? It's about family, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
One of my first books, a gift from an aunt, was Heidi, and that was about family. Grandfather still angry at his son and regretting their fight before his son and daughter-in-law died before the beginning of the book when the aunt drags Heidi, a 5-year-old child, up into the alp to dump her on Heidi's grandfather's doorstep. And there is Peter and his mother and grandmother and Clara and her father, Herr Sesseman, and even the butler Sebastian, who was more family than Fraulein Rottenmeier, the governess who governed Clara and Heidi's lives. It was through Heidi's love and longing for her grandfather and the extended family of Peter, his mother, and grandmother that drives the story and gives the story such power and heart, so much power and heart I remember it nearly 50 years later with joy.
Sweeping tales of of stars and earth-bound adventurers are really just interesting stories without family and the complex and often puzzling power of relationships that makes good books great and give them the star quality that makes them last for a lifetime.
Where would Herbert's Dune series be without the vendettas and power struggles of the family houses: Atreides, Corrino, Harkonnen? The interconnected families of the Fremen and their cache of water to make Dune a planet of green and rain? How about Frank L. Baum's Oz series? Dorothy wanted to get back to her family and created a family of choice in Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion? And let us not forget Martin's sweeping saga of familial relationships with Stark against Lannister against Baratheon against the Dragons of the once great ruling family that culminates in Daenaerys Storm Born and her extended family of khalasar and slaves -- and dragons reborn into the world.
These are stories of war and strife and adventure, but they are also stories of families. How could they have touched so many lives and hearts without family at the center of all?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Choice and Blood
The family I often prefer is the family of my choice, the people with whom I have shared good times and bad and have become close to. Blood family can often depress and repress. And sometimes, like today, family is irritating and petty.
On Sunday, I wrote about a man who visited our home many times. Mom always said she thought he was a cousin but I called him uncle. He fired my imagination and stirred my tenderest emotions because he had survived the Bataan Death March. He was a POW in Japan until the end of WWII and I still remember the scars on his thumbs by which he had been hung up and tortured. I've met a few veterans over the years, and interviewed many more, and I am always amazed they can find humor in the most horrendous situations. Their humor, I was told once, was a way for them to shield their families from the horrors they knew and lived with every day of their lives, as Uncle Lacy lived with his horrors.
One veteran, a man who had served in the first group of the 101st Airborne gave me a copy of his memoirs. I still remember the humor that runs through the tale of freezing nights in foxholes in the forest and overturned jeeps and dead cattle among the tulip fields in the Netherlands. One part of his story is about how he found a bicycle while on patrol in Holland and pumping hell for leather to get to a local cafe where they were serving steak. I still smile when I think of him pedaling along the canals to get to the cafe for his share of steak past a bloated, bullet-ridden corpse of a cow in a field still smoking from tanks and vehicles that were bombarded with shells and gunfire. Everyone in his squad rode that bike past the same dead cow along the canal to the cafe to get a steak dinner, a luxury after weeks of living on cold beans out of a can.
Then I think about the puking runs during basic when their evil commander told his men there would be no run that afternoon before releasing them for chow, which turned out to be spaghetti and meatballs, a meal they tasted again after their punishing run up that suicide hill. The 101st was the best airborne group in the Army maybe because of the trials and tribulations they endured to be a part of that elite group.
Uncle Lacy wasn't part of the 101st but he was a soldier, an ordinary soldier, who was caught up in an extraordinary series of events, the high point of which was the Bataan Death March. Then, as now, I see him as a hero, just as I see the men and women who serve in all branches of the military who stand in harm's way for each and every American.
That was the point of my post on Sunday, not my relationship to Lacy Prater but my respect and honor for the men and women serving in the military and walking in harm's way. That is what brought out the petty perniciousness in one of my cousins and reminded me why I prefer my chosen family to some of my blood relations. She thought I was trying to steal a little of Lacy Prater's glory by calling him uncle and sharing that with other members of the family, including her son who has served several tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. She couldn't have been more wrong. I am not a soldier. Her son, Lacy Prater, and the sons of several friends are soldiers. My father was a soldier and served two tours in Korea, once during the Korean War and the second time during the Pueblo Incident. I know these people or know of them. I honor and respect them. They are heroes. They deserve so much more than I can ever give and more thanks than they will likely ever receive for leaving their families and their homes to serve in the military. My post wasn't about me; it was about them.
I remember Uncle Lacy every year at Veterans Day. I'm sad to say that I don't remember him every day. He deserves more of me and of us all.
Whether the war is popular or not, these men and women have chosen to serve in our stead and many have died. We should remember them every time we exercise our freedoms because they are the reason we still have those freedoms. I honor those veterans and all the veterans who have gone before, even though I wish their sacrifice had not been necessary.
Now and always, thank you, veterans, for walking in harm's way for me and for all of us. As far as I am concerned, you are the family I would choose.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Welcome to Hinckley, Ohio Chapter 3
I went back to work for the temp agencies that week to keep out of Mom and Dad's house (and out of Mom's way) as much as to earn some money while I was there. I didn't like being beholden to anyone, and I liked it even less when I was a one woman audience for Mom's diatribes about paying my fair share, which usually amounted to my fair share and a hefty portion of everyone else's. That's the way it was every time I came back to Columbus and ended up staying with my parents. I didn't mind helping out with cleaning and dishes and cooking. I didn't even mind paying my share of the groceries, but being stripped to the bone so I couldn't put aside enough money to get my own place was too much for anyone, and especially me.
It was the usual tug of war with Mom about getting out and doing things her way while under her roof. I'd rather get out from under her roof as soon as possible just for the silence having my own place afforded, even if the silence was punctuated by the the sound of children -- or in this case, one child, my eldest.
Mom had custody, as she reminded me constantly, but I had the responsibility of paying his way as well as my own. Nothing like having a leash with a choker chain fitted with sharpened spikes on the inside pointing at my jugular.
So I worked.
Caroline wanted to go back to Club 3 again and I had promised to meet Daryl, so I agreed to let her drive this time. I'd leave my car at the Bob Evans at Westland and she'd drive us there -- as long as she promised not to run out on me again.
Deja vu all over again. The stiff was at the bar nursing a draft beer and Daryl brought a couple of friends. One of them was Caroline's date from the previous week. He wouldn't be leaving with her this week; she had her eye on his friend. Caroline did like to diversify.
Everything about Caroline was friendly, even the way her belly kept jiggling like a flying jelly long after she had stopped laughing. In the back of my mind I kept hearing Mom tell me no one would want me if I was fat. Caroline had me beat at least three times and she never had a problem with men. They drooled all over her wherever we were. I just didn't get it, but then I guess it was my problem. It certainly wasn't hers.
Daryl was attentive and danced with me most of the night with the stiff cruising by every ten or fifteen minutes, eyes glued to Daryl's back as if he were wearing a target. When Daryl had to leave early because one of his boys ended up at the ER because of a broken arm, he took my backup ride with him. The way Caroline was acting, I was afraid to go to the restroom. I just knew I'd come back and she'd be gone with the pick of the night and I'd be phoning for a cab and hoping I had enough money to cover the cost.
No more drinks and no more bathroom, I told myself, but my bladder had other ideas. Sure enough, I got to the restroom in just enough time to avoid embarrassing myself and back to the table just in time to see the note Caroline left fluttering to the floor. The stiff picked it up and handed it to me.
"Guess you need a ride home," he said.
"You guess right." I thanked him for giving me the note and walked past him to the bar to ask for the number of a cab. The bartender pointed to the pay phone.
The stiff got in my way. "Excuse me, please," I said, but I was not being polite. It was the first warning before a game of grab, twist, and pull that would end with him clutching his jewels while I walked over his writhing carcass to get to the phone.
"I'd get out of her way," the bartender warned.
"I just want to help," the stiff said.
"Help yourself." The bartender threw up his hands. He knew stupid when he saw it.
Even though it had been a few years since I'd been to Club 3, some memories linger. That particular bartender had seen me down a couple of grabby drunks with more booze in them than sense. He knew enough to stand aside and let stupid take care of himself.
The stiff got in my way again. I hesitated. He was already injured with his arm in a sling and he was obviously too drunk -- or too stupid -- to realize he'd been warned. "Excuse me," I said rather pointedly.
"How about a ride home?"
"I have it covered as soon as I can get to the phone."
He stuck out his left hand. "Nick Sherwood."
A polite drunk. A stupid polite drunk, but okay. "Hi." I shook his left hand. "Nice to meet you. Thanks for the offer, but I'd prefer to pay my own way." And not your way either.
"Maybe I'm going your way."
"Hilliard by way of Westland shopping center."
He checked his watch. "I think the mall is closed."
I took a deep breath and counted to ten. Fixing a smile on my lips without too many teeth showing, I gritted out. "The parking lot is still open. Thank you, but, no, thank you."
"You can pay for the gas if it makes you feel better. I'll even let you ride in the back seat."
"With you up front. Somehow, without a meter running, I won't feel any safer, Nick." My mind supplied dick.
"Can't do much with a dislocated arm."
Would you like your other arm dislocated to match? I took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, I appreciate the offer but I'd prefer to get my own way home."
Nick looked at me long and hard, without the usual roaming glance down to my breasts. "I'd really let you buy my gas. No funny stuff. Just rescuing a damsel in distress."
I couldn't help myself so I laughed. He was persistent and a bit abrasive, but his heart -- what I could see of it -- was in the right place. "I'm no one's damsel and I'm not in distress. Stranded, yes. Distress, no. I can find my own way home."
"Aww, let him give you a ride. He looks harmless," the bartender said.
At another time with me in a different mood, I'd have shot Jake the bartender a pair of laser beams right between the eyes, but the situation was ludicrous enough as it was. I could still call a cab and then call the police if Nick decided to give me any trouble, but he did seem harmless, if a little on the brick shy load of brains side of things. I could handle him if push came to shove. His wounded wing was on my side of the car.
"All right, but straight to Westland and no funny stuff. I'll tell you how to go."
Jake sniggered. "And how fast to get there, too," he muttered just loud enough for me to hear.
Nick didn't even finish his drink, which at the time told me he wasn't there for the booze alone. We walked outside and he tried to help me on with my coat one-handed. I had to give him credit for manners.
His car wasn't a car. It was a truck with a camper on the back. "Where's the back seat?"
Even in the dim sodium vapor light of the parking lot I could see him blush.
"It has a very wide seat."
Right.
He unlocked the passenger door first and offered his good arm in case I needed help climbing up to the seat. I didn't. He shut the door and duck-walked to the other side, got in, and started the truck. It fired right up. Points for good maintenance.
The cab was curiously devoid of the usual bachelor debris of fast food wrappers and nearly empty soda cups, the straws brown with a glue of saliva and cola. Except for a couple scraps of paper that looked like receipts, the cab was spotless. The windows were even clean on the inside, and there were no brown spatters that resembled dried blood, and no fading aroma of bleach. The only scents I could detect were faded pine from the pine-shaped air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror and spent sunshine and what seemed like spray starch.
The ride was silent except for my directions. He drove far too slow on the freeway for my taste. It wasn't as if the roads were bumper to bumper cars. There was the usual west side late night traffic and little else, but he kept to about 45 mph the whole way . . . on the freeway . . . with the speed limit posted at 55 and what few cars on the road zipping by at 60 and 65. I'm surprised the cops didn't stop us for going too slowly, but they were busy chasing down speeders drunk on the open stretch of highway under a glittering night sky.
When we got to Bob Evans, he stopped the car and started to get out. "I can let myself out. Thank you for the ride. I appreciate it." I opened my purse and counted out five singles.
"No need to pay me," he said, suddenly shy. "I just wanted to meet you."
I felt suddenly a bit ashamed of myself. All through this, I hadn't offered my name. "Jackie."
"Will you be at the bar next weekend? I'll have my sling off."
I couldn't help laughing. "I doubt it. I usually don't go out."
"You're not meeting your friend again?"
"Probably not. If I do, I'll bring my own car."
"Oh."
He sounded so disappointed. I knew he was interested since he hadn't buzzed anyone else either time I was at Club 3. I really couldn't afford to spend every weekend out. I wanted to spend some time with my son and I needed to work extra hours to save enough money to get a place of my own. Of our own since my son was with me. Provided Mom didn't play her usual game of puppet on a string.
"Maybe for one drink."
He brightened. "I won't keep you out late."
"One drink. Not one night."
"Right. I got it."
He waited while I got into the car, fired it up, and drove away. He followed me out onto Broad Street and up the ramp at 270, but didn't follow me home. He went back toward Grandview and I headed west to the Hilliard exit off 70. He could've taken advantage of the situation, but he didn't. Another point in his favor.
I might even show up next week and have that drink. Who knows? I might have two or see if he could dance. Anything was possible. Anything at all.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Political Sidestep
One of the most frustrating parts of the past few months of presidential campaigning wasn't the name calling or friendships breaking up, but the constant blame game.
For the past four years, Obama has consistently blamed gridlock, transigent Republicans, and (mostly) President George W. Bush for everything that went wrong during his term of office. The economy was in such a mess because of Bush, in spite of Congress being controlled by Democrats, something that changed quickly after the first few months after Obama's election. Well, that and having forced a stimulus bill through Congress at light speed (D.C. wise) to make sure that Bush took the fall for the numbers since it was still fiscally 2008.
And there was so much more of the Obama Shuffle to go along with his world wide apology tour and snubbing of American allies. I've come to expect that kind of thing with Obama and his team of operatives and even considered not facing them down with facts and figures. I decided not to give in. Someone, even little old me, Cassandra of the 21st Century, needs to stand up and say NO in a frequently very loud voice.
Every time I wrote about the facts of what was going on in the government and in the economy, I was shouted down, called a moron (among other less polite names, like Repugnican or Republican, neither of which I am), and ordered to provide facts and figures that didn't come from Fox News. I guess they didn't read what I wrote because the facts and figures were there in the article or op-ed column, but they didn't sit well with the Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds crowd determined to hang onto their one shot at forgiveness for having had relatives or having known people somewhere along the ancestral roots that owned or transported slaves, or did their best to keep the blacks down. Obama was the way they proved to the world they weren't racist because they backed a bi-racial candidate for president and he won. As long as they supported him and continue to support him, even in the face of damning evidence, they would be absolved of their associations.
Let's forget about civil rights and the millions of WASPs that supported and marched with black. Let's forget that Obama said that his campaign platform wasn't about race, even though anyone who opposed Obama or disagreed with him must be a racist. How else could they not see the celestial light of wonder that shone through him as they chanted, "Yes, we can." I still cannot figure out what they can do, but I know what Obama has done and will now finish doing. The writing is on the wall. Cassandra has spoken and is once again ignored. Troy will fall and the burning stench of her fall will darken the sun.
Okay, a little over the top, but I'm making a point here.
I posted side by side facts about the economy when Bush left office and with Obama in office for four years and the responses were vicious from the Obama Choir. "After all," one of them said, "the president has nothing to do with the economy and the cost of living."
Um, what?
Memories of a car in every garage and a chicken in the pot flitted along my synapses. Presidential candidates down through history have promised things will be better (Obama certainly did, "Yes, he did.") and that the economy will bountiful along that rose strew path to prosperity.
Of course, the president has everything to do with the economy and the cost of living. His policies and what he supports and hammers through Congress create and maintain the economy. I guess it was a little too much to expect polite discussion and civil debate from people whose eyes are filled with the light that shines from . . . somewhere out in the world (the White House is too boring for Obama and his family) while he continues his apology tour . . . and the feeling of renewal that came when their sins were washed white as snow by voting for a bi-racial candidate, who identifies himself as black in spite of his very white mother and maternal family. No one should be allowed to take that away. They earned it.
They turned blind eyes from the truth, like America's AAA credit rating falling to AA and the deaths of two Navy SEALS in Benghazi, not to mention the death of the American ambassador, while they hoped that change had come to them and life would get better. Gas would be 30 cents a gallon once again and the American dollar would soar so that travel overseas would once again be affordable, even on a janitor's salary. America would remain the only super power keeping the lands and seas safe from terrorists and the Red Skull (or whoever is the bad guy this year -- I think it's Islamic jihadists) and people could relax and take care of their two cars in the garage, lavish vacations, and even more lavish lifestyles with a new laptop computer and iPhone every 3 months.
So, to my Democrat friends who still believe in Obamessiah and continue to shout with unrelieved fervor, "Yes, we can!" I say, you cannot have it both ways. You cannot damn Republicans or Centrists or Moderates or Conservatives or Independents on the facts and refuse to see the facts when they don't shine with benevolent light on the man you have mortgaged this country for.
Yes, the president is responsible for what happens in the economy as he piles on even more debt and sells government bonds to China and the rest of the world. Yes, Obama is responsible for the cost of bread and milk and gas because every time he grants a government contract to a foreign national company, he takes jobs away from Americans. Yes, Obama is responsible for the growing unemployment, for the hundreds of thousands of people who have stopped looking for work and no longer get unemployment compensation. Even though they no longer figure in the numbers and percentages of Americans out of work, they are still out there and still don't have jobs. Yes, Obama is responsible for the unprecedented increase in Welfare and food stamp recipients, among them military personnel and their families, and, no, their communities are not supposed to support these soldiers and their families; that is the government's job because the government hired them to protect and defend this country and our allies around the world.
I could go on, but I wonder if any of this is getting through.
Bottom line: Facts are facts. Number don't lie, unless you know how to cook the books the way that Slick Willy did during his two terms of office. At least Clinton did one thing, cooked books and all, and that is put out a budget during his 8 years in the White House. Obama failed to put out a single budget in his entire first term, a term he promised would be his last if he didn't fix the economy and repair the damage Bush had done.
Let me be one more to voice reminding Obama he didn't fix the economy and he worsened the damage Bush and his Democrat-controlled Congress did.
No, I will not be silent over the next 4 years. Get used to the idea that this writer does more than write books and humor and slices of life. This writer is also passionate about this country. I am a flag waving, Yankee Doodle Dandy of an American. I always have been. I still stand up when the national anthem is played and I sing out loud and strong with tears streaking my face. I am still stirred by songs like America the Beautiful and my heart beats loudly for "...purple mountains' majesty above the fruited plain." I need no one to absolve me for the sins of racism and slavery because I am a result of a melting pot of ancestry that includes Native American, black, and European in a cohesive package that has not forgotten the past but refuses to repeat the mistakes of the past with new mistakes in the present for a future worse than Nostradamus ever predicted.
I am an American and I will hold fast to my freedoms, however they may be eroded. This is one Cassandra the gods will not silence.
I see what you are doing and have done. Say it wasn't you, but I know and soon all will know . . . Yes, you did.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Perfect Storm of Ignorance
What is not inevitable is any sign of reason. Extreme weather has been with us since the beginning when this planet was formed. If you want extreme, you should have been here when the world was nothing but volcanoes and magma and clouds of miles of towering ash clouds that reached to the heavens. That is extreme.
The most devastating Atlantic hurricane in the record books was in 1780 in Puerto Rico when 22,000 people lost their lives. I believe that was before the advent of cars and chemicals spewing into rivers, lakes, and the oceans eating a hole in the ozone. In fact, until fairly recent memory when the hole in the ozone was discovered over Antarctica, I doubt anyone can prove whether there was or wasn't a hole there before it was discovered.
The volcanic eruption from Mt. Tambora on Sumbawa Island in Indonesia in 1805 was more devastating that Krakatoa in 1883 and 52 times more destructive than the bomb that leveled Hiroshima. Notice that the volcanic eruption was before the time of human technology, cars, and man-made chemicals and was not born in a lab in Manhattan or tested at White Sands.
The devastation from Mt. Tambora had a profound effect on the weather in the United States with frost in the middle of summer and snow in June in New England, Newfoundland, and Labrador half a world away, termed the year without a summer in 1816. No cars, no chemicals, and no global warming, except for the warming trend that followed the nuclear winter which was the result of Mt. Tambora's devastating volcanic display.
Benjamin Franklin wrote a paper about the unusually cool summer of 1783 on the volcanic dust and sulfur dioxide in the atmosphere due to the volcanic eruption of Laki in Iceland. Franklin might have blamed it on man if he'd had our technology to track storms and prognosticate about the weather, but all he had was his intellect and the power of observation.
The great famine of 1315-1317 was theorized to be the result of the volcanic eruption of Kaharoa in New Zealand and the effects lasted for 5 years.
Unseasonal weather, crop failures, and famine from 535-536 could have been caused by a comet strike sending a veil of dust that blotted out the sun and cooled the earth, as Procopius wrote, but it is more likely that Rabaul in Papua New Guinea erupting was the cause.
Volcanic winter about 71,000 to 73,000 years ago was probably the result of a super-eruption of Lake Toba in Sumatra that deposited a record amount of sulfuric ash over the following 6 years that has been measured to be the highest level of ash in the past 110,000 years. The result of Mother Nature's temper tantrum at that time significantly deforested Southeast Asia and global temperatures dropped 1° C, reducing the animal and possibly human population and increasing continental glaciation. In plain speak, it was so cold the glaciers advanced across the European continent, making it so cold that animals and humans died in vast numbers.
I could continue with more statistics and history that encompass thousands of years of recorded history of natural disasters and extreme weather. What it all boils down to is that this planet has seen much worse natural disasters than Hurricane Sandy and more devastation that nuclear bombs and man's latest technological and technical innovations to make this world a more habitable place. What we seem to forget is that no place on Earth is safe to live. Where there are volcanoes, coastal shores, lands reclaimed from the sea that are still below sea level, beautiful alpine and forested slopes near dormant or sleeping volcanoes, verdant stretches above earthquake faults, and pastures and mountain tops in ancient paths of glacial advance, there is nowhere that nature cannot find us and destroy us. It is not god's will and it is not manmade global warming, but life on a turbulent planet constantly changing and reforming from within and without. Tornadoes, typhoons, earthquakes, comet and meteor strikes, glacial advance and retreat, and any number of natural disasters, like wildfires, will happen. If we choose to live here on this planet then we will be affected -- effectively destroyed and decimated.
The temperatures rise and they fall. Climate changes and levels of soot, sulfuric acid, volcanic debris, and sunspot activity on our big yellow sun and factors too numerous to count and fully understand will happen. The planet cools and the planet warms. How much humans have added to the mix is insubstantial compared to what has been thrown into the atmosphere from Mother Nature's latest temper tantrum. To claim human intervention as the major cause is understandable since people are too sophisticated to believe that some capricious deity is behind the destruction and upheaval, but that belief is as arrogant and superstitious as the belief that our actions have caused the gods to punish man for not saying his prayers or sleeping with someone else's husband.
We exist on a living planet that grows and changes every day. We may be convinced we know the causes of such extreme weather, but it is more likely we see and understand the tip of a vast iceberg, the bulk of which lies beneath the waters of our ken. All we can do is what humans have done since their first appearance on this world -- live through it and rebuild.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Muzzling Free Speech
Yesterday, I was treated to censorship. I had been asked to write an Obama opposing viewpoint because the editor of the online magazine had seen some of my posts and wanted more balanced coverage (i.e., not all Obama praising). After three days, I wrote the post, which I posted here yesterday, breaking a 2-month hiatus from Facebook. While I worked, the op-ed column was taken down without letting me know until much later.
I asked what the complaints were and was told some readers and advertisers misunderstood what I wrote. I don't see how. What I wrote was as plain as plain English can be. What I found out this morning was that readers and advertisers called the ezine's offices to make their voices heard, meanwhile my virtual voice was silenced. The editor apologized for putting me through "the battle" when all she wanted was to offer fair and balanced reporting. I guess fair and balanced at her ezine is Obama praise and no opposition.
Since ezines exist because of writers but are funded by advertising, I understand the editor in chief's actions, but what I don't understand is why he did not contact me and let me know.
I have hit against this particular brick wall a number of times. The first time was a profile I wrote about a woman who, with her family, spent World War II in a Japanese internment camp because her father refused to take an oath of loyalty. The newspaper struck my original lead likening the camp to concentration camps in Europe during that same war and turned it on its head, likening her stay in the internment camp to summer camp, which was more palatable to the advertisers. I did not like it them and I do not like it now.
Just because I understand why the editor in chief of The Celebrity Cafe killed my op-ed column does not mean I like it or that I do not realize I was censored in a country prized for its free speech. Speech is not free and I wonder if it ever has been. Loud, angry voices and money speak much louder than simple truths, facts, and figures, something I am very aware of on Facebook, and part of the reason I left Facebook. I came back because I feel that I have something worth saying and thought that my voice and my opinions should be heard, regardless of the opposing views. I do not engage in name calling or shouting down my opposition but I do civilly and respectfully disagree, often with facts and figures.
This country has become polarized and there is no middle ground where the quiet voice of truth can be heard. That is sad. This country was founded on ideals and beliefs that seem no longer apply and that is sadder still, especially when advertisers have the power to censor any voice that opposes them -- or speaks the glaring truth.
I can only hope that once this election is over and the ballots are counted sanity will return, but it is a faint hope after yesterday. I am a realist and I have been battered by this particular storm for too long to believe that we can ever return to fair and balanced reporting that is no longer censored.
If you'd like to read the original op-ed column, please feel free to do so.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The Only Choice America Can Survive | TheCelebrityCafe.com
Who will get your vote in November?
EDIT 10/25/12 at 6:41 p.m. MST: I have just been informed that the original op-ed column listed above has been taken down because readers and advertisers at TheCelebrityCafe.com took my column the wrong way. I don't see how facts and figures can be taken the wrong way, but there it is. Good thing I saved the post on Red Room. You may read it there.
http://redroom.com/member/jm-cornwell/blog/counting-down-the-days
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Review: The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham
Having seen the movies and knowing (I thought) what the book was about, I decided to read it for myself. The book is long on philosophy and sociological meanderings and short on plot. Most of the story is told from an insider's point of view, a narrator that was part of the Dayout when Midwich was separated from the rest of the countryside by an invisible wall that rendered anyone entering its influence unconscious. The narrator and his wife, not allowed to return home, decide to make an end run around the police and military and find a way into the village only to be rendered unconscious. They are pulled out by the police and waken slowly and with few side effects of their ordeal by unconsciousness.
When the Dayout ends, the residents, having been under the influence of the effect longer, have some difficulty returning to consciousness and many are freezing. Some of the residents caught out in the open and subjected to the effects longest died as a result of exposure.
The narrator is friend with Dr. Zellaby, an author of philosophical and sociological examinations of mankind, and he is the first to realize that the pregnancies of young virgins and every woman able to bear children in the village a result of the Dayout. The military also have an inkling since they saw an anomaly at the center of Midwich during the Dayout when they flew surveillance. Dr Zellaby's wife is also pregnant, but it turns out she was pregnant by the usual means and her child is not one of the golden-eyed male and female hive minds born.
I won't waste too much time detailing the differences between the movies and the book. The essence is there, but none of the flavor since Wyndham's novel is long on exposition and short on action. Most of the action is explained and detailed by the narrator and through long -- and sometimes boring -- conversations with Dr. Zellaby.
A novel about being tied to a changeling, or cuckoo as the novel terms the children, able to force the "mother's" return when she gets more than 6 miles from Midwich is something that only a man would term science fiction, having never given birth to a child or been tethered to the child's demands for food, clean diapers, and attention. Many of the mothers, and indeed Zellaby's own daughter, leave their children behind for the town and military intelligence, who have taken control of the situation, to deal with. The rest of the story leads up to the death of a young man that nearly ran down one of the Cuckoos and the subsequent vengeance taken by townspeople and the Children, which leads up to the extermination of the last group of Children from the Dayout in Midwich.
The Midwich Cuckoos is an interesting story written at a time when the conventions of fiction were different. As I said before, the book is long on exposition and hearsay and short on action. Everything, aside from Zellaby's lectures, most of which are convoluted philosophical Mobius strips, is told second-hand, except where the narrator is on the scene. The ending leaves a bit to be desired, but there is a solid story behind the archaic conventions of storytelling. The novel is worn around the edges by newer and brighter tales of the same stripe but the heart of the story remains what happens when man is threatened by a new and different species that might supplant him -- fear, anger, and eradication. That part of the story still holds true and is worth the reading.













