Friday, March 04, 2005

The light at the beginning...

The past few weeks have been really awful and yesterday started out to be more of the same, but once again friends pulled me out of the abyss. The "cold" I got from some other friends (who shall remain nameless--Bev and John) turns out to be influenza instead. Oh, well, but at last I am on the mend. Healthy products from my favorite health food market in Winter Park and a big cup of homemade soup from the same locale have put new life into me. Some ionic silver and herbs and the cough, congestion, and goop are on their way out of me at last. I can see the light again and enjoy it.

I felt weak as a newborn kitten yesterday and it was all I could do to make my rounds without passing out or crumpling into a sodden phlegmy heap on some dirty floor, but I made it back home without too much shaking and got my bags up the stairs and unpacked of their healthy largesse. Once my ears clear I will be hard at work and focusing on better times, like going to Chaco Canyon with Bev and the kids, meeting Rick in Albuquerque to finally see his now beardless face and hear his voice for the first time, interview senior motorcyclists there and in Alamogordo (at last), and back to Chaco for a little spiritual retreat and magick before wending my re-invigorated way home to make more money and get ready for the big move the end of April.

I'm sure part of my recovery is due to taking back control of my life after being at the mercy of others for so long, but it's also due in large part to realizing once again that what I want is within my grasp as long as I'm careful how I take hold of it. I forgot that for a while but free-falling has a tendency to make me giddy and uncertain. Maybe such times come to remind me that I am a survivor and that I have survived in quite a bit of style over the years, triumphing over some pretty steep odds, and to remind me that in spite of my outwardly perceived god-like powers I am still human -- or as human as an alien ever gets.

I'll shut up now.

No comments: