Friday, May 20, 2016

Temporarily Banished

I was asleep, minding my own business in a dream that was just a dream. Only it wasn't. I see now that the dream was born of issues I may not have fully dealt with or at least an issue that remains a part of me -- as some things often do no matter how you banish them or ignore them. It became a nightmare that catapulted me into the wide awake world where I usually live with a raging anger and the same sense of betrayal and loss I felt when I ended things several years ago.

And now he's back, still a coward, still a jerk, and still upending my peace of mind.

The dreamscape is one I've visited numerous times before. It's one of several dreamscape that recur in my sleeping world.

I was in an apartment I usually don't live in when I visit that dreamscape. It was smaller than the usual digs, but comfortable with room for my hobbies and mental pursuits. I gathered the trash and picked up a bucket of water I'd used to mop the floors -- on my knees, so I knew it was a dreamscape immediately. I don't scrub floors on my hands and knees.

Anyway, I took the trash and the bucket of dirty water outside where some of my neighbors were dumping their trash and chatting (gossiping most likely) about whatever. As I dumped the bucket on the grass someone said, "Well, that's new. No one dumps such things out here. Usually use the toilet or the sink."

I ignored the comment until the other neighbors' ribbing pricked the edge of my tolerant mood the wrong way. "I felt like taking a walk and perhaps bumping into my friendly neighbors." I bit down on the sharper edge of my tongue. I didn't add that I should have walked farther or that I should've waited. I really wasn't in the mood for the usual onslaught of hurt feelings and injured cries of bruised egos and pricked self-importance. I just wanted to finish the task and go back to my cozy little nook where I could shut the door on petty minded busybodies.

Almost at the outside door reaching for the handle, he came at me from behind offering sympathy for the rude people and setting the nape of my neck tingling with upraised hair. Oh, how I wanted to escape his insincerity and his subsequent attempt at 'let's be friends and talk about us' before I gave into the urge to slap his face -- with a hand rake.

I consciously lowered my shoulders and eased the tension evident to anyone but clueless him, murmured my thanks for his attempt at empathy and slowly and deliberately opened the door. He was determined to make the most of me speaking to him at last. Sure of his welcome, grudging though it was, he stepped between me and the open door and took the bucket in hand. "Let's set this down here out of the way so we can take a walk."

I could've shoved him aside, got my bucket, and left. I didn't. Damnable manners got in the way and, if I'm to be completely honest, politeness and a smidgen of hope quickly quashed and stuffed into the nearest dark, blind niche. A moment of politeness costs nothing. Well, nothing more than lowering the thick, seemingly impenetrable wall built to keep him out and away from the shreds clinging to the remains of my heart.

"I did want to get some fresh air," I said and backed away from his outstretched hand. I'd walk a few steps but there was no way he was going to touch me. I'd slug him first.

We strolled past the goggle-eyed neighbors without a word and toward the massive tree that towered over the yard, its bottom branches so high they couldn't even brush the tops of our heads. No, not there. I veered away from his intended route and down the long lawn toward the river.

It must've dawned on him that the way he imagined our reunion I wasn't going along with the program. He stopped while I walked on. Since I continued to walk toward the river he pointed to the sky and called my attention to a shooting star. Rational mind kicked in with meteorite blazing to earth from friction as it screamed to its death, a death I had heartily wished on him a few -- million -- times since I'd last seen him.

Come to that, I don't remember him moving into the building and yet here he was. Bold as brass and twice as irritating against my skin. I resisted the urge to claw at the hives I imagined humping up the longer I allowed politeness to keep me from the cozy confines of my rooms.

Politeness can only move me so far. I'd had enough fresh air. Time to shake this hound off. Now. "Thank you for the walk." I turned about and walked toward the building. Sputtering protestations followed a few steps before he grabbed my arm and yanked me to a stop. Bristling, I hesitated just long enough for him to vomit up an apology and "I was wrong," stopping me from slapping the taste out of his mouth.

"Nice to hear you admit it. Too little, too late." I brushed his hand off me. "What now? Should I relent and fall into your arms?" He held out his arms and flashed me his patented crooked grin. "Not happening." His arms dropped as though made of lead held up too long for his puny muscles to withstand. "Thanks for the walk and the air."

"Please." The longing and desperation reeked from that one word. Tears threatened. I stopped to gain some semblance of control and he emerged from the shadows to stand in front of me. I never knew he could move that fast -- or be that decisive. He was all about over thinking everything and planning to bolt. "Please," he repeated.

"Please what?"

His head jerked back as if my fist had connected. "Please wait. Let me explain."

Angry retorts battered his limp excuses. Too much time, too much hurt, and too much silence stood between then and now. I felt my resistance waning, giving into the dis-ease I felt standing that close to him. My vision blurred with unshed tears. My stomach ached. My heart ached. Everything ached from the stifled emotions and resentment and repressed anger. Not sure which was stronger, the fury at myself for letting things get to this point or the horrible loss because he was -- and continues to be --- a coward and not being honest from the start. I should have been less naive and more cynical, but I have learned. Finally.

Suddenly, my temperature cooled . . . as it does when I have reached the outer limits of fury and anger, and the temperature around me dropped. He stopped dead in his tracks. His arms dropped to his side and he stared at me as I gathered myself, turned, and slowly walked away leaving him behind me. When I reached the building and opened the outer door I looked back. He had not moved.

I almost expected to see snow falling. The neighbors rubbed their arms and complained about the creeping cold. A few pulled their sweaters, jackets, and coats closed and moved away to go home as they shouted hurried goodbyes. I picked up the bucket and went back to my cozy apartment. I wasn't cold. I wanted to be safe inside away from prying eyes and nosy neighbors. Away from him.

It did not feel like a long time, but the expected knock thumped on the door. When I opened it he stood outside in the hall. "Why did you see me in that first time?"

"Of course I wanted to or I'd not have invited you."

He turned and walked away. We were obviously done at last.

Why is it that a man can't take a woman's word when they end? Why do they believe only a man can end it? My second husband told me that we would never end until he said we ended. I laughed at him and laughed even harder when he came back with "I asked you to marry me. It's not over until I say it's over." I told him, "But I had to say yes first." He didn't get it and I spent the next few years proving it to him when I moved away and made my family promise never to tell him how to get in touch with me or I'd not let them know either.

Not that I worried too much they would take me up on the promise to cut them out of my life. They wouldn't mind. They'd wanted to get shed of me for most of my life. I had provided what I was adopted to provide -- children of their own. My purpose was fulfilled. All they needed to do was get rid of me so their family, finally complete, could go happily on as a family without me. I was used to being alone and without family. My own birth mother didn't want me back. She had her own happy family. Oh, she loved me, but I was the past. I should stay in the past and not be a constant reminder of what she had given up. I was her child, but only by biology. She had sons now. Her daughters were part of the past. I was part of that past.

A few days later -- or hours since it was dream time -- the phone rang. I answered and confirmed I was me. He wanted to take me out, get to know me. He had been given my number. No surprise there. He knew all about the affair and he thought I might be lonely and wouldn't want to remain lonely. My girlfriend listened to my side of the conversation amused at the way I handled the caller. She was a little surprised that I was so calm, that I seemed to tease him and flirt. All I can say about that is that is my default mode: teasing, flirting, pleasant.

"Keep listening," I said and hung up.

"What was that all about?"

"He wanted to keep me company," I responded, voice tight, temperature dropping. My jaw worked as I clenched my teeth and sought to master the feeling of betrayal and anger bubbling like lava toward the surface. Our conversation was terse on my part and full of wonder and the need to get out of the blast range on the other as she sidled toward the door.

What had sounded like light-hearted banter was obviously not so light-hearted or pleasant. The caller had presumed too much and that presumption came from the man who gave him my number. A man who might as well have written it on a bathroom wall. A man I once trusted and, Goddess help me, I still loved. A man who had tossed me away without paying me off first as any good prostitute would have demanded. I never expected to be passed around like a dirty joke, but that is evidently where I found myself.

Even when it's over it's not really over. Not until the man says.

No wonder I was instantly awake last night. Betrayal and calculated disregard -- mine or someone treated that way -- always gets my attention. Had I answered wrong when I told him I let him in because I wanted him, because I wanted to be with him? Had I brought everything on myself with my feelings for him? I didn't know. I would never know. He was too much of a coward to face me or to tell me his promises and our plans were empty dreams. Had he told me, I would have still wanted him the way I've wanted anything that is out of reach -- without emotional investment. Or time. Or belief. Or trust. Or dreams of a future together.

And it would have hurt so much less.

Even the relationships that have ended and the men banished, the banishment is only temporary.

Or so it seems.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Wite-Out Sky

When I woke this morning the world was white. The sky was white. That usually happens when there are big fluffy clouds covering the sky, but this sky was Wite-Out white. Liquid paper spilled over the dome of the sky -- or white chenille stuck up there with the chenille side facing me. I had to go outside to make sure I wasn't missing part of the picture. 

I wasn't. 

I hadn't.  

It was all there.  The sky was white in every direction, not a sign of clouds overlapping or cobblestoning the heavens. White. Blank. Albino. Nothingness as far as my eyes could see. The absence of everything. Everything except the sun's light illuminating my world without a sign of the burning orb anywhere. Just light. White cold light that struck no answering faceted brilliance of gem fire like sparks struck from crystalline jewels. Just white. Absence. Cold emptiness. 

I expected to see snow -- on the trees, on the deck, on the railings, on the ground. I had watched yesterday's rain and sleet and smaller than pea size hail turned into thick clumps of snowflakes while I watched, and eventually into ground covering weighted with all the rain that had fallen moments before -- for several hours before. Seeing that white sky sent me outside to take photos and to marvel at the sheer surprising endlessness. A white hell pregnant with portents, frigid fingers creeping slowly up and down my spine, firing all my nerve endings with incandescent flames more pervasive than any Brian Keene novel. I fought the urge to load the shotgun and barricade the glass doors from where I would goggle mute, horrified, uncomprehending at the shambling, relentless hordes.

The Rising lurches like broken marionettes barely attached with rotting and broken strings from termite-infested crossbars at the edge of my brain to be glimpsed from the corner of the third eye, there and not there, threatening to become tangible.

There is a blue cast to the photos above, the same blue cast that tinges all my winter snow pictures. Must be the blue light the camera picks up that my eyes see as white. Unadulterated and untinted white. Dead white. Wite Out white. White that is not the absence of color but the presence of all colors and all light waves and all the colors of fear and apprehension and . . . ominous shades of chaos and . . . something more primal, more basic, more . . . nightmarish.

I am not given to flights of fear or nerves and hair standing on end normally. I am a rational person able to face the abyss as vertigo unsettles my vision and sets my heart thump, thump, thumping in abject terror with a smile on my face and reflexes tensed to spring toward safety should the edge crumble and tumble me to the center of nothingness. Always alert. Always ready. Always poised to flee. And yet here I am watching the heavy snow weigh the branches, bending the sturdy branches into arcs as though ice froze the branches and pine cones and needles into an eternity of stillness, until drips and drops and clumps and spilling walls of wet white cascade in crystalline curtains and drapes and frosty lumps to the mounded dunes growing up from the ground. Albino stalagmites growing toward the Wite-Out sky.

I wonder if my fantasy has overtaken my common sense in an avalanche of restless waiting for the inevitable while the world outside this snow packed dome that isolates me and keeps me prisoner in an albino world as the long day of watching -- and waiting for . . . something -- leaches color from my rosy skin as it has silenced this corner of the mountain in an upturned milk glass bowl. Only time will tell what slouches this way, time that has been plucked from the normal stream of seconds, minutes, and hours, slowed to a crawl, gliding along its freezing slime trail and the heart thunders to a diminishing crescendo of purpose . . . before it falters, stalls, , and . . . stops.

That is all. Disperse . . . while you can.

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Hidden Costs in Colorectal Cancer Screening

In my email this morning was a advertisement for a free report (free means free as long as you purchase the other reports and a membership, so not really free) on the myths and lies we have all been told about cancer and treatments for cancer, like colonoscopy. The very LONG advertisement (repeating buzz words and not getting to the point until you click the link for the free report) stated a simple truth hidden among the buzz words and advertising. The only medicine we need that actually works every time is good food. Good RAW food. Imagine that. We actually are what we eat -- and are affected by what we eat. Good RAW, ORGANIC food. That would be the same organic food the government is currently trying to eradicate by geo-engineering the weather that has created and is prolonging the drought in California to destroy the organic food growing industry since they couldn't get rid of organic food by passing a federal law that labels organic food as medicine and puts it under the aegis of the Food and Drug Administration that has protected our health and food by giving the go for drugs that have killed a large swath of the population with drugs that have horrible side effects that require more suspect drugs that have their own side effects.

These FDA approved drugs kill over 100,000 people a year. That does not include the test subjects in clinical trials that died as a result of the drugs in testing.

A hundred thousand people every year doesn't seem like such a high cost to pay for curing the rest of the population.  The only problem with that way of thinking is that the drugs still cost more in the USA than in Europe and still cure nothing and very few people. The drugs might extend a patient's life but the quality of life is not there. People spend years suffering while the medical community prescribes more drugs that may or may not (usually not) work. It's like throwing something at the wall and if it sticks good. If not, well, throw another drug at the wall and see if that sticks. Repeat, repeat, repeat and add up the cost increase.

The FDA has been in league with the Big Pharmaceutical companies for decades and their testing ground is the population of the United States of America. You'd think the people were cannon fodder for their war on cancer and high blood pressure and diabetes and . . . the list goes on and on. We, the people, are the lab rats and no one managed to tell us -- not the media, not the medical profession, not the government, and not the drug companies. Why tell the rats that they might live but it will cost them everything . . . including their lives? After all, we need pharmaceutical companies for the drugs they provide us that often are addictive (ensuring funds in the Big Pharma pipeline) and costly. After all, what is insurance for but to pay for the costs of getting well.

If the goal was wellness and health for the US population, the government wouldn't meddle with the weather creating droughts to stamp out the best medicine in the world -- good, organically grown and farmed food. Good, healthy food won't put money in Big Pharma's pockets or keep the money flowing in the pipeline or keep companies like Monsanto in business while they keep genetically modifying seeds that make its own herbicide and insecticide and increase growing rates on what is only marginally food with less nutritional value than cardboard images of food.

All that rain that is being diverted away from California is falling in the Midwest in record levels and the resultant floods are washing all those lovely Monsanto chemicals off the land and into the Gulf of Mexico where even the bottom feeders, like catfish, can't exist on it and plankton and shrimp and other food sources for fish and waterborne life die off taking the larger aquatic life with them.

Genetically modified food isn't food; it's poison. It's information that looks like food but has so little nutritional value that it cannot provide even the smallest levels of bio-available food -- and it is the source of many cancers, especially intestinal, stomach, and colorectal cancers that will require expensive testing to seek and destroy and even more expensive treatment to manage because there are no curative properties in chemotherapy and radiation. Such claims of a cure are a smoke screen to cover up what is really going on -- fleecing of the American people.

Colonoscopies in Europe cost a few hundred dollars while the same procedures in the US cost anywhere from $6000 to $20,000 per person per test. There are no reviews of the data proving that colonoscopies actually reduce the incidence of colorectal cancer or that detection actually increases the cure rate or possibility of finding cancer in the early stages. There are a few peer reviews recently instituted, but the results will take 7 years to come in. Do you have the time to wait for the results? Probably not.

There are options, noninvasive tests that are just as accurate in detecting signs of cancer without the pain, the damage to the intestines, and the serious side effects that accompany colonoscopies. Things like dirty instruments. You cannot put a colonoscope in an autoclave for sterilization because it would destroy the instruments -- they're expensive enough without having to replace them after every procedure. The colonoscopes are cleaned, but those flexible wires are still contaminated with blood, tissue, and fecal material from the last patient. The blood and tissue are often from polyps and cancer and spread those cancers to your colon and large intestine. Bet that's not in the medical brochures . . . and yet that is what happens. Nothing like infecting you with another patient's cancer and polyps and spreading the disease around.

You could opt for a sigmoidoscopy (and still run the cross contamination risk), which is more uncomfortable than the colonoscopy but a little less invasive. Pumping up your lower intestinal tract with air won't make it any less painful (rather more painful) but less dangerous and less invasive: a rubber tube with a camera on it rather than a bulky instrument already contaminated with someone else's tissue, blood, and fecal matter.

Even less invasive than the sigmoidoscpy and colonoscopy is the capsule endoscopy. The capsule endoscopy is a package of technology about the size of a cold capsule or gelcap you swallow that travels down the length of the digestive tract taking pictures of the entire length of the stomach and intestines and retrieved from the rectum, opened up, and the photographs developed and studied. A lot less invasive. After all, how many capsules have you ingested over the decades and suffered few if any ill effects?

Then there is the colon prep before each invasive procedure. The bland diet for a day or two followed by a liquid diet and then by a gallon jug of laxative, usually GO-Lytely, which is a strong laxative and the serial diarrhea and cramps that follow before the test. Those all go together with the dehydration and discomfort and pain with the prep that cleans your digestive tract from lips to rectum. Not to mention the starvation and lack of fluid intake that sends you to the nearest fast food restaurant for mass quantities of processed food to fill the void since waiting until you get home to get a good meal is really not an option worth contemplating, let alone going along with. You need FOOD and you NEED IT NOW!

On the noninvasive side of the medical smorgasbord there is the FIT (Fecal Immunochemical Test) kit you can buy for about $20 over the counter. The FIT test is also known as the IFOBT (Immunochemical Fecal Occult Blood Test). And there are stool guaiac cards that are basically the same as the FOBT cards, testing for hidden blood in the stool.

The test is simple. Flush the toilet, defecate, wipe and put the used toilet paper in the provided waste bag, use the included brush to take a sample of the stool, dip the brush in the toilet water, and brush the sample onto the provided card. Some doctors require brushings from multiple stools. Send the samples to the lab in the provided packaging and envelope and wait for the results. The test looks for blood in the stool that may not show up on the toilet paper or in the toilet bowl. Fecal occult blood is usually one of the symptoms of cancer in the colon. Any aberrant cells would also be in the stool sample and would indicate the presence of cancer -- if there is cancer present.

Aside from the ick factor of having to deal with fecal material compared to the pain, inconvenience, and danger of a more invasive procedure would be minimal. Or you can get a loved one to do the dirty work for you and avoid the ick factor.

There is also the Cologuard test, another noninvasive test you can do at home. Cologuard costs $649 and is covered by Medicare and most insurances. No doubt it is also covered by Obamacare (Affordable Care Act). Cologuard is a DNA based test that identifies the cells in fecal material that has passed through the digestive tract and would pinpoint cancer cells.

With so many noninvasive colon screening tests available for a fraction of the cost of colonoscopy and sigmoidoscopy, and even capsule endoscopy, and covered by insurance, who needs the discomfort, pain, inconvenience, and stress of invasive colorectal screening.

Did you know that there is no need to check beyond the colon and into the large intestine to screen for cancer? The colon is the last section of the intestine that feeds into the rectal vault and rectum and only that small section needs to be scanned. And you get to pay extra for the more thorough examination that does not guarantee more comprehensive results.

Feeling better now? Remember. The doctor works for you; you do not work for him. You have the right to refuse any testing and procedures you don't want. Take charge of your medical care and choose what you are willing and not willing to pay for and endure. Demand answers. Ask questions. Research everything your doctor presents to you and never accept something you do not want and are not willing to undergo. You are the boss. It is your body and your health. Take charge. Don't leave the responsibility for your health an well being in the hands of doctors more interested in taking your money than taking care of your health.

That is all. Disperse.

Friday, April 01, 2016

Just One

So often we forget in the midst of the din of denial and accusations that all it takes is for one person to stop and listen and believe to the one voice rising above the chaos that warns of the danger ahead. Listening to that one voice will often spell out the difference between joy and tragedy.

We get so lost in the rush to to get out of the way it's hard to think, hard to see, hard to believe that anything can be different, and so we give up. That is what life is like for so many of us when we are so overwhelmed by whatever assaults our senses, our minds, our spirits. It's easier to stop, drop, and roll into the grave prepared for us.

I spend a lot of time researching, reading, and looking for more clues to the trail I've been following. The clues are hard to see and I miss them sometimes, so I give up for a while. I walk away or move on to something else. I need to take a break and give my mind a rest and so I read something else. Reading is never the problem. It's the flow of information and the onslaught of that juggernaut of doom and gloom bearing down on me that turns my knees to a rubbery mess that will no longer hold me up that forces me back and away because  I need to give in and sit down.

I have been pointing out the dangers of relying on the media to give me the truth. Expecting a service that is paid to lie and cheat and lead me into danger to tell me the truth is like picking up a rabid dog and expecting it not to bite and infect me with its disease. I'm a little smarter than that -- not much, but a little.

Few will thank me for lighting a candle in the darkness and I accept that. Some people resent the rapid change from darkness to even the flickering light of a candle in the wind. Their eyes tear and they feel safer in the dark. After all, the candle won't last forever and they will be in the dark again so why bother?

It's hard to see at first. The eyes burn and tears flood the vision. Wiping them away helps for a second and the eyes still burn and sting. What will they see when the blurriness clears, the tears dry, and they are able to see? Fear sets in. The mind recoils from the possibilities and from the ability to see clearly the deepest nightmares that force them awake with a scream shattering the silence. Not knowing is better. Being unsure of the danger is safer. All that is needed is to go back to sleep, turn away from the images burned onto the retinas, walk away from the light and the knowledge that their world is no longer safe and secure and known . . . even though the world was never known. It has always been a nightmare landscape littered with bloody bodies and shattered lives. Better not to know.

But is it?

Is it better to be unaware that your moments are numbered and you will be a bloody and battered casualty of a war you didn't know you were part of? That is the real nightmare. That is the real cost of following the herd over the cliff onto the jagged rocks below or into the cold embrace of the abyss struggling for just one more breath.

That is what it is to wake up to the reality of the man behind the curtain pulling the strings and creating the fearsome image blazing fit to burn you as you stand shivering before it. There's the initial shock that so small and insignificant a person is the real danger when the curtain is pulled back. First, the shock and then the realization and then the anger. The insignificant man cowers before your rage and betrayal and he inches forward. You are secure in your outrage and never see the thin sharp blade as it slips it's poisoned length into your vitals and slump to the floor amazed that such a nonentity defeats you in the end.

Fear was better. Fear kept you safe. Fear kept you unaware of the danger. The danger would not have struck had you never pulled the curtain, never confronted the puppetmaster, never known. Now that you know, it's too late. Better to have feared.

But is it?

All too often we forget that everything worth having has to be worth fighting for, struggling for, and even dying for. Over 200 years ago, men who lived well ordered lives, often lives of obscurity and peace, decided not having control of their destiny, their business, and their lives was to live as slaves. No, their motives weren't pure, the men who started a revolution that rocked a nation and sounded the clarion call for others. They often obscured their motives and rewrote the books to seem heroes, and in their own minds their actions were justified. They did pave the way for millions, for billions. Some would say their revolution was justified by the freedoms they bought with those lies and the blood of millions. I might say that was true and they deserved their heroes' legacies, but not today because they led us out of enslavement to one master and into eternal enslavement to a master less not willing to let us go, a master able to use our fear and modern methods to keep us enslaved as they changed our very biochemistry and enslaved our minds to an empty ideal that was little more than a hologram carrot on a very real stick with a stiletto hidden in its lure.

Welcome to the pit of hell where every good deed is punished and you walk happily to Lady Guillotine whose bite is swift and painless and sure. Welcome to your worst nightmare. Embrace it. You have been expected and will now serve the greater good as you have served the greater good with your ignorance and belligerence and willingness to be deceived because you couldn't be bothered to give up your precious time to look for the man behind the curtain.

You all will die, and so will the voices almost silenced by the din, but at least they will die knowing they warned you of the dangers and the lies, though you would not listen, As you ponder eternity knowing you had a chance to escape, what will it profit you but shame and regret and the possibility that your children or your children's children -- your legacy -- will escape the ultimate doom. Isn't that enough?

If only you had paid heed to that one voice telling you the truth, to that flickering candle lighting the darkness. If only...

That is all. Disperse.

Friday, March 25, 2016

In The Serpent's Eye

The story of Adam and Eve is one we all know and have been told since childhood, but have you ever thought about the story, really considered the story from the standpoint of reality? Paintings of Adam and Eve nearly always show them wearing fig leaves (or some kind of leafy covering that hovers over the genitalia) before they have even committed the sin of eating the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. There is often a snake coiled around the tree and inclined toward Eve. Try looking at the story from a more realistic point of view, taking the story out of the divine aspect that surrounds it and putting it into a more familiar reality -- as if it had happened.

Adam and Eve, according to the Hebrew Bible on which the Old Testament is based, were the first human beings. Forget about Lilith, another dramatic construct from the Jewish midrash (explanation and commentary on the Hebrew Torah (which became the Christian Old Testament with appropriate additions decided by the Roman council of Nicaea). What is immediately apparent is that though Adam was still the first (at least for this discussion) another female was created as his mate, Lilith. In the Vulgate Bible (first Latin bible written for the masses (vulgar - vulgate) Lilith was called Lamia, a Libyan serpent goddess, or Lamashtu, a female demon who killed children, drank the blood of men and ate men's flesh. She also caused pregnant women to miscarry, disturbed sleep, and brought nightmares. Basically, woman was a demon, an evil being wreaking havoc on the world of men.

Considering raging hormones during puberty, I can see how that would be perceived and how, from personal experience, it feels.

Lilith can be viewed another way -- that there was another female created with Adam from earth. It was Eve, the second female in this story, who was created from Adam's rib.

Putting this in context and comparing it to the older Sumerian account of creation, Lilith would have been the first attempt at creating earthlings and Eve perfected when the DNA retrieved from the rib of the Creator -- or Adam as the story goes -- made Eve more human. Consider that the creator of Adam and Eve -- however many attempts at creating a humanoid capable of thought and learning to perform tasks useful to God (or gods) -- perfected his model and sent two specimens, male and female, to the leader of the group (high commander or Commander of Earth) as a gift. It is very likely a pair from the first batch of earthlings, male and female, had also been sent as a specimen of the ongoing work to create a being able to carry out orders and do the hard work, freeing the rest of the colonists for less sweaty and dirty tasks. Would a pair of earthlings be sent as mature adults or as children?

I say children were sent, especially with the perfected batch of earthlings produced with the DNA taken from a male and female colonist obtained from the ribs. Like any modern scientist, the obvious source of DNA would be taken from his own rib and the female DNA would come from his scientific partner, the geneticist making it all possible. The new pair of children were sent to the Commander of Earth and he kept them as pets in his garden, naked as the day they were born, and just as unaware of who and what they were. But pets grow and they grow up.

When the latest Adam and Eve grew up, at least to the point of puberty and its inherent changes in body and mind, the scientist (Lord of Water) visited the Commander's garden to check on the progress of Adam and Eve. I can imagine the scientist saying, "How you have grown," when he encountered Eve. Probably through the worst of puberty, Eve would have answered the scientist's questions and told him about how odd and different she felt, how much pain she had had, and how funny she felt. She would have told him she had blood coming from down there and wondered if she was dying. The scientist was ecstatic. No longer would the earthlings be mules (infertile), they could produce children on their own. That was far more desirable than growing the earthlings in tanks or female volunteers and would speed things up nicely so the work force would be ready sooner.

The scientist is a sensualist. He liked women. He enjoyed them. He admired everything about them: their beauty, softness, receptiveness to his advances. They smelled nice good and, as he usually did, he was aroused. The scientist took Eve for a test run and was pleased with her willing responsiveness. She was still a child, but a talented and curious child eager to experience . . . everything, and so was the scientist.

After experiencing the new sensations of physical intercourse with the scientist, Eve noticed she needed to get cleaned up. She pondered what had happened with the scientist as she bathed and looked at herself in the water's surface. She felt she had changed and she looked changed. Her cheeks were flushed. Her breasts were fuller and flushed. She felt sore, but she also felt warm and tingling and . . . good.

She waited for the scientist to return so she could experience it all again. He had told -- and showed -- her they could be close many times and how good it could be. The initial pain dulled and was replaced by a warm and tingling feeling that did not go away immediately. It lingered. Her thoughts lingered on the experience long after the scientist was gone, her fingers and hands touching and stroking and feeling her body. How good it was and the feelings lingered.

Eve may or may not have known Adam, but it is likely they were companions, play fellows. She wanted to share the new experience with Adam. He was shaped like the scientist and she had seen his body change first thing in the morning when he awoke and sometimes through the day, his phallus growing hard and sometimes dewy with fluid. Eve had never really thought about it, but Adam's phallus got hard like the scientist's and she thought Adam might also enjoy the new experience with her.

That's what happens when a new experience is introduced. We want to tell our friends and companions. We want to talk about it and get others to help us understand it. We want to share those feelings and experiences.

Adam might have noticed that Eve touched her body more and he could have noticed that her body changed when she did so. Adam likely caught Eve bathing after the scientist left and acting strangely. When Eve emerged from the water she might have covered her genitals and breasts. That would have piqued Adam's interest. She would have gathered a branch or stepped into the bushes while she talked to Adam, gathering leaves and flowers and weaving them into a belt or apron to cover herself and hide the swollen pudenda that still tingled and felt warm -- and was growing warmer and tinglier as she told Adam what had happened with the scientist.

Eve touched Adam as she told her tale and Adam's body responded in a way that was natural and yet different. His body tingled in ways it had not tingled before. He felt warm. His phallus swelled and became erect and his scrotum tightened and tingled. Adam touched Eve as she touched him, cupping a breast and stroking the suddenly prominent nipple, teasing its sensitive tip while Eve touched the tight buds of his nipples. Ripples of tingling warmth coursed through their bodies and Adam gasped as he felt Eve's warm, wet embrace as she mounted him, wriggling as she guided his swollen phallus between her legs and deep inside. Adam and Eve began to move together, lost in their bodies awakening to each new sensation. At first, they were a little awkward. Then the pace smoothed out as the alien sensations overwhelmed them, finally giving into the rushing waves of heat and the growing sense of racing toward . . . something -- an abyss, a warm ocean swell, a crashing sensation and fullness that engulfed them and forced squeals of pleasure and surprise and climax.

Adam and Eve fell together, sweaty and excited and somehow replete as from a feast, marveling at how everything seemed different, felt different, was different. Every inch of their bodies tingled and they giggled and smiled as they touched each other. They were tired and excited and drooped a little.

As they continued to explore each other's bodies, they discovered they were ready for more, and they indulged themselves laughing and giggling and sighing and groaning with every sensation. When they were exhausted from their new experiences, they bathed, splashing each other, drawn together to experience it all again in the cool waters. When they finished and stepped up onto the bank, they blushed all over as they looked at each other. They would never look at each other in the same way. They knew each other in a very different way, an intimate way. They immediately felt shy and covered their self-consciousness by weaving leaves and flowers into a covering so they could go about their usual tasks or get some food to eat.

The Lord of Earth's pets looked different when he came upon them as he walked through his garden. They seemed fuller, more aware, and wore coverings of leaves and flowers. Was it some new game? Had they begun to imitate the colonists, to imitate him? Clever earthlings . . . or were they merely clever mimics?

The Lord of Earth questioned his pets and the answers he received explained so much, explained the strange noises he had heard and their exotic behavior. It didn't take long to find out that the Lord of Water had visited and been up to his old tricks. He would not allow his private sanctuary to be violated in such a way. His pets would have to leave his garden and live with the other earthlings. They would learn to toil and feed themselves and no longer be loved and petted and cared for. They were no longer pets. They were something more, something else. His brother had gone too far.

The Lord of Water's symbol was two snakes coiled around a staff, the symbol of his calling as a scientist and his creation of the slave species. It is not surprising that he would be called a snake by future generations as the snake was a symbol for the creative branch of science. Call it poetic license, a poetic license that has turned a scientist into a living serpent, a demon tempting innocence into the sin of knowledge of the full extent of the changes made in the earthlings. The earthlings could procreate and probably had souls. They were no longer just slaves and pets because they contained the essence of the colonists's being.

By his meddling, and his own curiosity, the Lord of Water had changed humanoid beings into beings closer to the humanity of the colonists.

I have often wondered if the First Sin was not a sin of eating a piece of fruit, but of introduction to sexual intercourse with the Serpent (the scientist that created earthlings) and the eventual pregnancy and birth of the first earthling child, Ka-in (Cain to Christians). Adam and Eve would have continued enjoying the experience of intimate intercourse and Eve would have become pregnant again, giving birth to the first earthling child. As a hybrid, Cain would have been obviously physically different from Abel, the second child born to Adam and Eve, and would have been treated differently by the Lord of Earth, the Commander. He would have favored the earthling child over the further hybridized child and that would have created further conflict between the half-brothers. They each had their own tasks, but Abel, favored by the Commander, would have lorded his favored status over his brother because he knew the Commander would side with him.

Children are sensitive to what goes on around them. Try as we might to shelter them from discord, children will be aware and know not only something is wrong, but what the something is.

Sin and shame are social constructs. Left to their own devices, people (earthlings) will find no problem with a woman sharing intimacies with whomever she wants or wants her. Children are a byproduct of that physical communion and the only thing that affects the harmony in their lives comes from outside. In Adam and Eve's case, their previous master's affection for their second child and their creator's affection for their first born would have been apparent, but not an issue until it became an issue between their sons, ending in the death of Abel at the hands of Cain when they argued and fought over the importance of their jobs and which of their overlords favored which.

Cain was probably as shocked as their masters and his parents, but he was to be punished and that was the end of it -- for him. His actions would become legend and be used as a cautionary tale to future generations.

Finding out that I was not the only person that believed the First Sin was the earthlings' creator explaining -- or showing -- Eve she could procreate was comforting. I was not the only weirdo in the world. How could I be when others read the words in Genesis and see a different tale? Not just because I am a writer but because I saw the story differently as a small child. No amount of bowing to my parents' will and trying to fit in lasted long. I did not see things as they did and no one could shake me from the certainty coming from deep within me. I imagined the story as I've written it above, although the sexual content came when I had my first experience of sex as a teenager of 18, nearly an adult. I remember the wonder -- and the shame -- that accompanied the strange new emotions and sensations, even more so when I discovered I was pregnant. That is when the shame kicked in.

Actually, the shame kicked in when I realized I would have to tell my parents. Facing my overlords was a lot more difficult than it would have been for Eve since she had no idea what had happened to expand her awareness of herself and the world around here would be met with anything but kindness as she had known from the first time she stepped foot into the master's garden. She was a child, not in body, but in mind. She had never been ill treated and she expected understanding and kindness from her master just as if she had found and presented him with a new flower or a unique stone or shell or animal. She did not expect the shock and revulsion on the master's face when he realized that her pregnancy was as a result of his brother lying with his pet. No doubt my parents would have been more stunned had I told them I had had sex with the family German Shepherd.

Others will see -- do see -- the story of Adam and Eve differently than I do. It is to be expected since we do not see the world in the same way. Others may or may not believe the story in the Bible and the way it is told and some may even call it a myth, a story told for children, to explain how the ancients explained and viewed the world around them. Whatever point of view others take, for me, the story of Adam and Eve is someone's version of events and a propaganda tale to make women out to be the villain of the story secon only to the serpent that tempted her.

Woman is weak and easily tempted and she is a seductress that lures man from the straight an narrow path and onto the dark path that leads to sin and destruction.

The truth is that the scientist was a sensualist and given to enjoying females. He took every opportunity to indulge his desires whenever and wherever he found them, much as Zeus did when he turned himself into a swan, a shower of gold, or a sunbeam into a dark room, or cuttlefish in pursuit of a sleek-bodied goddess disguised as a fish, or even taking on the likeness of the female's mate to enjoy the exercise of his desires. Whatever tale in which the scenario of seducer and seduced appears -- and there have been many -- someone with knowledge uses that knowledge to take advantage of a more naive prey. Today, we call it rape or sexual harassment, but at the heart it is the same tale of the serpent and Eve. Assign blame where you will, the tale becomes either a story of sensual expression or sin based on your own beliefs and experiences. These differing views are portrayed admirably in art, born of creative impulse ending in beauty and the representation of society's sensibilities.

Shakespeare was right when he wrote all life is theatre and we earthlings merely players fretting our hour upon the stage.

Take the tale of Adam and Eve as allegory or cautionary tale or celebration of the beginning of knowledge of self and the world and use it as a stepping stone to wisdom.

That is all. Disperse. 

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Planned Obsolescence

Jonestown Massacre

In 1978, the biggest news was the suicide of 914 people at Jonestown in Guyana, 276 of which were children. Jim Jones of the Indiana Peoples Temple was dead of a gunshot wound to the head that may have been self-inflicted. The members of the Jonestown community drank the cyanide-laced Kool-Aid (generic Flavor Ade mixed with cyanide, Valium, Phenergan, and chloral hydrate) and gave it to their children in an act of revolutionary suicide.

Theories abound from Jim Jones's declining physical and mental health and pending litigation over custody issues to mass murder by person or persons unknown. There was a plan discussed to immigrate to Russia before the mass suicide and plans communicated to a sister Peoples Temple in Georgetown to Sharon Amos to avenge the Jonestown deaths and then commit revolutionary suicide. Amos murdered herself and 3 children with a large kitchen knife on November 18, 1978 in response to Jim Jones's orders.

There were claims of CIA involvement and conspiracy theorists had a field day trotting out their government involvement claims in much the same way that the deaths of David Koresh's Branch Davidian followers in Waco at the end of a 51-day standoff with FBI and Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agents on April 19, 1993.  More than 75 died in the fire at the Branch Davidian ranch that day, 25 of which were children. David Koresh committed suicide, shooting himself in the head.

In San Diego on March 26, 1997 Marshall Applewhite and Bonnie Nettles and 39 members of the Georgetown group committed suicide because they believed that the Earth was about to be sanitized and repopulated in the wake of the Hale-Bopp comet.  If they were going to be murdered anyway, the Georgetown people preferred to decide when and where they would die.

Mass suicides have occurred throughout history and,unlike the 960 Jews who chose death on April 16, 73 AD at Masada,  Herod's hilltop fortress in Judah, suicides in modern times may have been the result of forces other than choosing death instead of enslavement by Rome. Eliezar ben Ya'ir, commander at Masada, hoped that the mass suicide of the men, women, and children at Masada would mobilize the Jewish nation to rise up against Rome and fight for freedom. Eliezar did not get his wish.

In more recent times, archaeologists and historians discount Josephus's version of history and state that there is no evidence anyone committed suicide at Masada. They suppose that Josephus's version is flawed and propaganda rather than fact.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Conspiracy theorists claim that Jonestown, Georgetown, and Heaven's Gate are due to government programs in mind control and exercises as part of a depopulation scheme to whittle the world's population down by 6 billion. The remaining 1 billion would be easier to control, to feed, and to govern in a world under the guidance of a single entity, such as the New World Order we hear so much about in movies, TV shows, and political speeches that promise a better life where the ecology of the planet is protected and there aren't wars over food and water such as are illustrated in the media. The New World Order is the modern variation on a chicken in every part and a new car in every garage.

After all, what would people sacrifice for heaven on earth in our time?

The New Eden would naturally be a place where only the best of the best would live in peace and harmony, the peace and harmony of biddable drones subservient to the rulers of the New World Order and without a mind -- or a voice -- of their own. Gone would be democracy (which is a two-edged sword after all) and in its place would be government ordained by God for the good of the slaves people.

The One World Government would give the people One World Religion and One World Economy, all of it administered given to the people by its heaven-ordained leaders for the better of all that remain.

What better way to create a perfect world than by pruning the dead branches and the suckers and wild branches that result when the gardener lets Nature take its course. At last, zero population growth, maybe in the guise of limiting birth (because it worked so well in China to limit birth to 1 or 2 children per family with males preferred, daughters killed or offered up to nurseries that find parents in the western world for unwanted females) and eugenics to make sure that every child born is genetically perfect (anyone remember Mengele?). The new Master Race might use a different ruler or opt for the Nazi Nordic model as is evidenced by the American version of Nazi Eugenics.

Did you think that Operation Paperclip was solely to support and expand the United States space program?  Operation Paperclip brought 2000 scientists to the USA after World War II along with their families. I don't think the space program needed 2000 scientists for the space program, not when they had Werner Von Braun. He was a whole staff of scientists on his own and did much to advance the Space Race, but rockets to the moon were only part of the brain drain from Nazi Germany that boosted American science programs.

The MKUltra Program was one of several CIA operations that were the result of Operation Paperclip. The CIA wanted to be able to control the human mind. The most famous aspect of the MKUltra program was Project ARTICHOKE where candidates were lured by prostitutes to a secret CIA location and subjected to hypnosis, drug addiction, and LSD.  CIA scientists watched the participants from behind one-way glass while the prostitutes did their duty. This sub-project of MKUltra was dubbed Operation Midnight Climax.

One of the CIA's black projects formed the basis of Firestarter aimed at using volunteer subjects for a clinical drug trial that resulted in expansion of psychic abilities. Firestarter was supposed to be fiction, but in light of what has happened over the past 4 or 5 decades, maybe less science fiction and more fact. I doubt, however, that the media can be relied on to publish the truth since they are more adept at being the propaganda arm of the government and the Powers That Be. For every one honest journalist there are hundreds of paid mouthpieces spouting the party line and queueing up the latest participants in the current round of bread and circuses.

Using psychics for covert operations and mining foreign minds for information, creating dictators and terrorists and shooting them down when they are no longer useful, enhanced torture techniques, Manchurian candidates (more mind control), enacting Big Brother by spying on everyone (Edward Snowden), and experimenting on humans to create hybrid human-animal/insect species, and falsifying the information on UFOs and alien autopsies for a start.

Do you really believe the Pentagon buys screwdrivers and hammers that cost thousands of dollars a piece? The kind of creative accounting is how the government hides the cost of black programs right in plain sight.

It seems The X-Files were so much fiction as much as disclosing the dirty tricks perpetrated by agencies like the FBI and the CIA in much the same way that Stephen King did his books based on fictional government agencies like The Shop and experiments on humans. So why wouldn't the same government try out its mind control techniques under the guise of religious groups committing mass suicide?

When dealing with the government -- any government -- it is best, as my grandmother always said, to take their explanations with a grain of salt -- about the size of a salt block for deer.

What we know for sure and what we actually know are universes apart and it is nearly impossible to tell the good guys from the bad with no Fox Mulder fighting for us -- or for his own sanity. The truth is out here, but may be hidden under a lot of bodies, victims of mass suicide, and part of the planned obsolescence of a fairly substantial sacrifice of humanity in pursuit of the One World Government.

That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

The Fear Agenda

What if the Islamic State was created to sow fear as part of a bigger plan to exterminate a big chunk of the world population, like say 6 billion people? A much smaller population would use fewer resources and could be easily fed and would be much simpler to control. What if Mohammed was led down the garden path to give people something to believe in and thus be easily manipulated and that as a result Mohammed's writings and actions became more and more violent? What is the use of creating a religion to control population if you don't end up with death and destruction? 

A population forcibly converted to a way of life that destroys books and knowledge and allows only the writings of Mohammed and his adherents would seriously limit revolution and anything that would get in the way of world domination. Such a world would also keep ideas like truth and freedom and individual rights out of the mainstream and keep people docile and less inclined to revolt against the world order using jihad as a means of exterminating any group that has its own ideas. 

Did you ever wonder why there was such a surge in creativity and art and science and ideas after the repression and constant struggle with the Ottoman Empire and why the Renaissance exploded into the world with an almost deafening sound? Exploration increased. Routes were discovered to the East and the spice markets of India and China that didn't go through avenues where marauding Muslims exacted their toll in death and destruction. 

Think of how the world would look now if there had been no Islam and no jihads and no Ottoman Empire. Maybe it is time we saw history the way we were taught and consider that more was lost during the Dark Ages that books and science and art and creativity and that was the purpose. 

Time to wake up, Coppertops. We've been had. 

Three pillars of the New World Order: Vatican City, London City, and Washington, D.C. Did you know that all of these cities are not part of the states or the country where they exist and are separate entities? The Vatican is the head and heart, London is the bank, and D.C. is the military arm. I think it's time we stopped criticizing conspiracy theorists and paid attention. We don't have to agree with them, but we should listen and stop to think about whether or not they could be onto something. 

Qaddafi, Al Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, Hussein, Islam, and various terrorists throughout history have been created by someone else -- or some government or entity with a hidden agenda that did not have humanity's best interests. Jesuits were present when the New World was being discovered and explored and their main mission was to destroy all writings and religions they found. Much has been lost due to their diligence and thoroughness. That anything escaped the fires is amazing and a miracle. The Romans and the Roman Catholic church that grew up in the ashes of the Roman Empire to spread its influence wherever Rome did not reach, especially with the discovery of the New World, has been a force to be reckoned with. What was not burned is hidden away in the catacombs and in the bowels of the papal palace in the Vatican and is kept safe in the autonomous country of Vatican City. 

Saddam Hussein spent billions of dollars uncovering and restoring ancient ziggurats and architecture because he believed he was fulfilling prophecy and his work must be completed before the End of the World. The Last Days have been preached since the 4th century AD. Several points in history were emphasized and the prophecies of the End Times has been rebooted with each major milestone, like the end of the first millennium (1000 AD) and again as we neared the 21st century. Jesus did not come down in clouds of glory and faithful Christians continue to wait. 

Since its inception in the 6th century, Islam -- and Mohammed -- have predicted the apocalypse, the End Times, and believe that they must cleanse the world to make ready for the coming of glory and the end of the world. They are motivated by the same seeds of fear they sow with blood and beheadings. Listen to Dr. Bill Warner's lectures on the real causes of the Dark Ages and how Islam fought the world to a standstill -- until some intrepid adventurers decided to find another route to India and China and the Antipodes (end of the world) by sailing west where the Ottomans did not control the seaways or the land routes and there would be no pirates and bandits. 

Fear has been the motivating force for these terrorists, fear that the will end before prophecy can be fulfilled. 

The emperor Constantine and the Council of Nicaea decided what would go in the book that defined and illustrated the religion of Jesus Christ, born of Mary in the line of David, the first great king of the Jews. All writings that did not agree with the path chosen to save the world -- and control the world's population -- were left out and everything else was chosen because it upheld the party line. Even then the doctrine of the Apocalypse was preached and written about and the End of the World and the Return of the Christ was believed to be imminent. Christianity must make the world ready for the coming glory and cleanse the world of sin, which is where the Jesuits come in and where the role of the Roman Catholic Church expanded. Fear of an eternity spent in the fires and torments of Hell motivated the believers to murder and torture and repress the people -- and to decimate the population. 

In Roman times, decimation was lining up the troops and killing 1 out of every 10 men to punish the troops. The Latin word for 10 is decem and is the basis of the decimal system and decimate. 

It wasn't enough to keep the population in check and so plagues were released. All throughout the Middle Ages there are stories of hooded and robed men walking through towns and hamlets and cities carrying a lantern on a pole that gushed smoke. Edgar Allen Poe even wrote a story, The Masque of Red Death, that illustrated those anecdotes and created the first horror fiction. 

There is a scene in the movie version of Masque of the Red Death starring Vincent Price where hooded men wearing robes of different colors meet on a hilltop after spreading various plagues. Millions died in the plagues of Bubonic Fever (the Black Plague) among others. 

When Mohammed had his vision and created Islam and the worship of the moon god Allah, his vision of the future was peaceful. As time went on, Mohammed's visions became more violent until the result was a tide of massacre and enslavement across the Middle East and Africa and Europe, sparking the Christian crusades. The forces of Islam and Rome were like millstones grinding the people between them and decimating the world population further, but the extermination of the people didn't go far enough, which is when the plagues began ravaging the world. Nothing like a well timed virus or bug to weaken people sufficiently to keep them from fighting so hard against extinction. 

It may well be that the Vikings were another player on the field, led by greed and the riches of the rest of the world and the promise that their death in battle would be their ticket to the halls of Valhalla where they would feast and drink for all eternity in the company of Odin and Thor and the Norse gods. 

I've always wondered why the story of Odin is so similar to that of Jesus Christ. Odin was crucified and died and came back to life just as Jesus did. The only difference is that Odin lost his eye in payment for the knowledge he gained. 

The 9 realms of the Yggdrasil (world tree) are also similar to the 9 worlds of the Maya and yet there was no communication between or knowledge of the other's culture and beliefs. I'd call that a huge coincidence that two such different cultures could have such similar beliefs. Belief is the name of the game and it's partner is knowledge. What one group believes can be changed by interaction with another group with similar -- or even different -- beliefs. It can change everything. 

In their raids on the rich lands and kingdoms of the south, the Vikings were exposed to Christianity and their natural curiosity led to more than the riches the people bestowed on the Roman Catholic Church. The raids led to knowledge and changes for the Vikings and their world. 

It seems no different in our modern world that fear drives people to war and war destroys the lives and future of millions of young men and women and children, further decimating the world population. New forces have been called up to exterminate humanity: religious wars, wars of aggression, wars of liberty to throw off the yolk of oppression, and new boogeymen can be called up and created at need. The call is not in the name of God, but in the name of liberty and freedom and democracy. 

When all else fails, new viruses concocted in order to turn them into weapons of mass destruction (Ebola, AIDS, bubonic fever, Sarin gas, souped up smallpox and anthrax for starters, and even the 10 plagues of Egypt for starters) to decimate the world population further, especially since the Zero Population Growth program didn't work in 3rd world countries where people with less education and fewer resources have nothing else to do with their time than make babies. Contraception was unknown and not a favorite among the people. It's more fun to make babies than waste a man's seed in a rubber tube or take a pill to keep a woman from getting pregnant. The Roman Catholic Church had already programmed the people to make babies for God and not waste a man's seed like Onan did when he spilled his seed on the ground after he married his brother's widow. Committing sin is not a good idea -- and will not increase the numbers of believers (see The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson). 

Islam teaches that a man should have many wives and concubines and produce as many children as possible to honor Allah by increasing the numbers of his followers. I think that is the problem with using religion as a tool of fear. Religion teaches obedience and honoring the word of God. Nothing spreads religion faster than priests and evangelists than by giving birth to them. More babies means more fighters and more Christians and unbelievers (kafirs) can be killed. It's ultimately a numbers game. Christians, especially of the Roman Catholic variety, and Muslims are the same in that regard. 
Of course more children does not meet the goals of world domination when the goal is to to decimate the population. More babies means more people to exterminate. Time to beef up and prepare to fire the biologic weapons again. If bacteria and viruses have babies more will die. 

One good thing about plagues is that plagues don't recognize their victims by religion or culture or nation. They cut down everyone indiscriminately. 

Well, not everyone. Nature built in a fail-safe. Plagues kill everyone but a small percentage, usually about 1%, of the population and the immune system musters its own forces to battle the invaders -- antibodies that are resistant to further attacks. That is how smallpox was eradicated, by injecting or exposing people to weakened strains of smallpox or by rolling the dice and introducing live bacteria from someone already infected (usually pus from a sore or blood from the dead and dying) into the healthy. Some will die, but the ones that live will produce their own biological soldiers (antibodies) that can be used to treat new cases and protect those who have not been exposed before. Eventually, the process was made simpler by creating a vaccine that could be easily introduced into children to protect them from contracting the disease (or plague) by scratching the skin or by injecting the serum into the body. 

Many bacterial diseases have been stopped dead in their tracks by vaccinations, but saving people has never been the goal. Saving the right people is a good idea, but since the rest of the world must be decimated, the diseases and plagues for which there are antidotes vaccines will have to be boosted and made more virulent so that more people will die. 

I'm sure the deaths of the natives of the New World were a potent illustration of what happens when an unprotected population exposed to a disease to which invaders were already immune was an object lesson the Powers That Be would never forget. The poor savages would not have died in vain since they gave new life to the 10 plagues of Egypt and demonstrated how best to get rid of 86% of the world population. 

As new terrorist attacks blossom with their deadly toll and war rages on, it would be in humanity's best interest to pay attention and heed history. There is nothing new on earth, just a modified application of old techniques boosted for future release. It may not be God visiting plagues and war and senseless death on believers and unbelievers alike, but a force closer to earth and closer to humanity seeking to gain control of mankind. Think conspiracy theory on a global basis and ignore the criticisms and name calling that dog the footsteps of the visionaries. There is more to the story and you have only begun your journey down the rabbit hole -- for now.

That is all. Disperse.  

Sunday, March 13, 2016


Until I am shut down or the post forcibly removed by the Powers That Be, I offer you free access to The Palestine Plot by Borge Jensen.

Suppressed history of Zionism, Bolshevism, and banking.  ~ taken from a blurb.

Download away...

Remembering My Lai and My Khe

I was 14 or 15 when My Lai was all over the news and in the newspapers. America -- at least most of the people I knew and listen to -- were stunned by the news. A group of US soldiers in Vietnam had lined up all the women and children and men of all ages and murdered them. The only reason the story hit the news instead of being buried in the Vietnamese jungles was because of Capt. Hugh Clowers Thompson, Jr. 

I remember an article about the massacre and the aftermath once Captain Thompson came forward and told what happened that day. I had tears in my eyes when I read about how horrified he was at his team's actions, how they laughed and raped the women and made their families watch while they raped and mutilated children. Capt. Thompson evidently couldn't live with the knowledge and spoke out.

Their intelligence was that the village was full of sympathizers. Capt. Thompson's team had gone into other villages and hamlets in their sweeps and been met with derision and fear and children carrying bayonets and knives and sharpened bamboo stakes covered in feces or dipped in poison.

That day the soldiers likely expected to be attacked by the villagers because they had been told there were North Vietnamese sympathizers willing to kill and die for Ho Chi Minh. It didn't take long for the situation to devolve into murder, mutilation, rape, and massacre. That day My Lai, My Khe, and 4 other hamlets were destroyed by the US soldiers.

Other atrocities during war -- and even in peace time -- have happened throughout the world and on American soil. War brings out the worst in men. War and fear and violence bring out the rabid animal in men.

Many atrocities go unnoticed because there are few people willing to stand up and say, "Stop! No more!" the way that Capt. Thompson did that day even in the midst of his own shock and horror. I've no doubt he could not believe his eyes when the members of his patrol sliced off body parts (ears, noses, genitalia) and affixed them to their uniforms or when young prepubescent girls were raped and killed in front of their families or their mothers and grandmothers were raped.

It takes someone with more heart than fear of what will happen to him or her to stand up and tell the truth about being a part of, or even on the fringe of, such heinous acts. Capt. Thompson risked his military career and his life to go public with what happened that day at My Lai and My Khe.

"On November 17, 1970, a court-martial in the United States charged 14 officers, including Major General Samuel W. Koster, the Americal Division's commanding officer, with suppressing information related to the incident. Most of the charges were later dropped. Brigade commander Colonel Henderson was the only high ranking commanding officer who stood trial on charges relating to the cover-up of the My Lai massacre; he was acquitted on December 17, 1971."  

Lt. Calley, one of the accused, claimed during the 4-month long court martial that he was following the orders of commanding officer, Capt. Medina, and was summarily judged guilty and sentenced to life in prison for the premeditated murder of at least 20 people. The US Army calculated the death toll at 347 at My Lai  and others say 400 dead. The Vietnamese government listed 504 deaths in My Lai and My Khe.

Of the 26 soldiers charged with the premeditated murders, only Lt. Calley went to trial and President Nixon reduced Calley's sentence to 20 years in prison, serving 3-1/2 months on house arrest at Fort Benning and another 3 months in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. Calley was paroled in 1974.

The sentence was light and not nearly as harsh as it should have been, especially considering he murdered and raped the villagers under orders. I believe the same defense was used at the Nuremberg trials.

Backward logic seems to be par for situations like these, especially when someone steps forward to make the facts known. These whistle-blowers are regarded by those in high positions, especially those with dirt on their hands, as traitors while the average American considers them heroes. The Powers That Be do not treat honesty and a moral conscience with the dignity they deserve.

Men like Julian Assange of WikiLeaks and Edward Snowden who currently resides in Russia. There are more than a handful of men and women willing to do the right thing. They are often considered rats and stool pigeons and, especially in the case of Snowden, traitors who have misused their privileged positions.

Snowden knew he'd spend his life in exile by making the illegal wire tapping and spying on every from American citizens to allies and enemies around the world. He chose exile over loyalty to the sitting President of the United States and the various alphabet agencies (FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, ...). As an ethical and moral individual, what other choice did he have?

What choice does anyone faced with an ethical dilemma have? His conscience or his bank account.

Snowden was no spy and he was not infiltrating the US government. He was a contractor paid to handle the data collected by the US government, much of that data collection in violation of every single American citizen's rights under the US Constitution.

As more news about the New World Order emerges and the plan for the human race becomes appallingly clear, I see the world differently. I saw it differently in the latter part of the 1960s after reading about My Lai. With each new atrocity, the view changes and becomes darker and more forbidding. It is only through the actions of men like Assange, Snowden, and Captain Hugh Thompson, Jr. that the Pandora's box they have uncovered spewing out all manner of evil and horror that a glimmer of hope shines brightly. As long as there are men and women willing to face the fire and retribution of the evil perpetrators, there is hope for us all and I am thankful they refused to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the horrors and betrayals they saw and experienced.

I keep coming back to the same thought every time. All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men (and women) to do nothing. Take the bribe and turn a blind eye too often seems to trump honor and conscience. I'm glad none of those that stand up and call a spade a spade chose greed over truth. 

That is all. Disperse. 

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Warm Glacier, Cold Glacier

According to climatologists manmade global warming is proven in the recent calving of a 12 x 24 square foot iceberg from the Pine Island glacier in western Antarctica. Those same scientists cannot account for the continued growth of the glacial ice on the eastern side of Antarctica that has been gaining about 200 billion metric tons per year. Melting on the west and growing on the east. What can it mean? Climatologists don't know. They have no idea why one side of the South Pole has a growing ice shelf while the other side is melting. According to them, it's not relevant and will become clear later.

They hope.

Climatologists speculate that it is an anomaly and eventually the losses on the western side of Antarctica will eventually balance out the increases on the eastern side. They have no proof of their suppositions but feel confident that proof will come in good time.

Nowhere in the articles and papers I've read do climatologists mention the active volcano percolating beneath the Pine Island Glacier nor do they mention anything about an increase in carbon monoxide emissions that volcanologists theorize presage an imminent earthquake and/or volcanic eruption. There is no mention of any outside forces, such as the huge planet (5-10x the size of Earth) bearing down on us or its gravitational forces or the effects of such a massive gravitational pull on the earth. There is no mention of the obvious tilt of the Earth, a fact that is talked about among the Inuit in Alaska and the Arctic or that the moon can be seen with the naked eye as having changed its orbit -- or Earth's orbit has changed, providing night time viewers with a different angle on the moon, a fact that is not lost on astronomers. Yet none of the astronomical data has been figured into the climate models or even mentioned in the data being circulated about the melting of the Antarctic ice shelf.

There is mention of rising carbon dioxide (CO2) levels -- an obvious result of manmade global warming. There is no mention of the fact that the CO2 levels were much higher during the 16th and 17th centuries after some serious volcanic explosions that, in addition to the Maunder Minimum (low sunspot numbers) that accompanied the mini Ice Age during that time. The data has been logged and climatologists have been tracking the global temperature for a whole century and yet none of that information has been presented in their public reports or their worst case scenario claims.

Nothing was mentioned about sunspot numbers or coronal mass ejections and solar activity, though it that data should be included because the weather and temperature of this planet are part of a much bigger -- and more conclusive -- picture.

Relying only on melting ice and glaciers calving, a natural occurrence since the world began, and CO2 levels provides a dark picture, and one that is missing considerable proof without the inclusion of the other components of a more complete picture.

It's like a child believing that because she stuck her finger in the fish bowl and one of her two fish died, it must be her fault because her finger was dirty or crawling with germs that attacked the fish. It's a natural tendency for people to blame themselves for everything without looking for other factors or considering other issues, like whether or not the bowl had been cleaned recently or the fish had not had enough time to get used to the temperature of the water or using chlorinated water or that the fish had a disease when they were purchased and had gone unnoticed. Or a dozen other factors. The child assumed it was all her fault for sticking her finger in the bowl to pet the fish. There could have been chemicals on the finger or the fish died of fright. There is no telling since the fish ended up being flushed down the toilet or buried in the back yard as the child cried before anyone thought to figure in other factors.

Humans are conditioned to believe everything is their fault. The industrial revolution in the 19th century was a big leap forward for civilization and great gouts of smoke gushed from factories and steam engines and all kinds of newfangled machines. Sure, it made life easier, but it also brought disease and pollution and buildings covered in soot and ash. No one had thought about the ramifications of advanced technology on the land or the people or the cities -- or the planet.

We discovered new chemicals and dumped them into the oceans and rivers and streams killing plants and animals. It was poison to the wildlife -- and to people. How could it not also poison the atmosphere, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat? Of course, it's all our fault.

We didn't stop to think of how a volcanic eruption poisons the atmosphere and cuts off the sunlight and poisons the water and the people. We didn't know that the CO2 and methane and CO emissions would sky rocket or that the poisons spewed out along with the lava and pyroclastic flows even as they burned and suffocated people. We knew they happened, especially after Pompeii and Herculaneum and the surrounding countryside that disappeared from view for centuries after the volcano because quiescent again and the towns and life and people were buried beneath millions of tons of ash and lava and time.

It didn't matter. The pollution and warmer temperatures weren't the cause of outside forces or nature, they were our fault. We were to blame.

Must be nice to be powerful enough to destroy a whole planet without even knowing it.

None of the global warming can be charged to the planet warming up after the mini Ice Age as the effects of volcanism, an increase in sunspot activity, or anything natural. How could sunspots and the tilt of the earth and the continuing volcanism have anything to do with what is obviously our fault since the industrial revolution?

By collecting a limited range of data and not factoring in other forces outside of manmade pollution it is no wonder the computer models don't match what is happening on the planet. The answer was to adjust the models and fix the math. That should give climatologists the results that would fix the computer models -- except that even by fudging the data nothing changed. The models changed, but they did not depict what the scientists hoped they would see.

None of the weather tinkering, like spewing heavy metals and chemicals into the atmosphere to make it rain where it as wanted or needed, could possible affect the planet or change the weather elsewhere. Increased gravitational forces pulling on the earth couldn't possibly disturb the various tectonic plates and cause earthquakes or stir up the sleeping volcanoes. The volcanism and CO2 and CO emission increases as a result of earthquakes and erupting or seething volcanoes spewing into the atmosphere have an effect, but it is minimal compared to what people have done in the pursuit of technology. We have to put a stop to all the global warming in spite of the fact seen in the actual temperatures that what has been predicted has not happened.

There are far more factors to be considered and figured in before deciding that the child's finger is the only reason for the fish dying.

I do not dispute that greed has done more to fuel pollution and damage to the atmosphere and the planet, but that is a bucket of water poured into the Pacific Ocean in comparison. There is also Fukushima to consider and nothing has been said and none of the data has been figured into the computer models to add to the dire picture.

Scientists need to look at the bigger picture and take data from far more sources than just CO2 and CO emissions and the warming/cooling of the polar regions. How about factoring in the obvious change in the Earth's tilt, the approaching planetary mass (brown dwarf, galaxy, failed star, massive Uranus sized asteroid, comet) hurtling toward us that can be seen every morning rising in the east before the sun hits the horizon. Factor in sunspot activity and weather control and volcanism and earthquakes and gaseous emissions. Factor in every bit of data instead of the narrow range of numbers currently used, like measuring the temperature.

And also consider that the amount of data currently collected from core ice samples is insignificant compared to the age and life cycle of this planet. We know very little and scientists assume a great deal, rather like extrapolating a history of the world by concocting a story based on a few pottery shards and ruins that have yet to be thoroughly examined.

We know nothing but science has yet to figure that out. Or maybe, like the little boy who saw the future and did not predict the end of the world by super nova until he learned what a super nova was, we will cease to exist because the boy learned about super novas a couple of days before the sun exploded (Twilight Zone episode).

Or consider that everything we think we know is based on lies told to keep people from panicking if they found out we are being -- and have always been -- controlled by outside forces and cabals and beings that treat us like lab rats in a maze.

Until more extensive data comes to light and the scientists and politicians and bankers and whoever else with a stake in this worldwide experiment come clean, I will consider the news of the end of the world if we don't change our ways a small piece of a vast and complex puzzle.

That is all. Disperse.