Thursday, June 27, 2019

No need for bailouts or socialism

Bernie Sanders is out on the trail stumping to be elected for president -- again. Isn't he too old?

The POTUS is not a platform for promoting socialism or communism but a position of leadership for the man or woman that is elected. Instead, the people of the United States trade their morals and ethics for a chance to be the President of the United States (POTUS). We have seen and still experience the swamp that has grown up around politics and we have suffered for it. We have liars that will cheat and lie to become President: Obama and Trump are excellent examples of that. Add in the Clintons and that makes it worse. The Clintons are the epitome of the dunghill that is politics and has become politics. The forefathers knew what they were doing, but they did not count on the people that politics attracts and continues to attract. We are living in the midst of that dunghill and suffering from the swamp of politics that the dunghill attracts.

We have had and continue to have liars, cheats, Obamas, Trumps, and Clintons to show for it.

I'm not advising that we forego the presidency but that we grow in intelligence and stop the political gravy train that attracts the worst of mankind's politicians. The forefathers did not count on that aspect of the political swamp.

That is how we end up with the dregs of humanity and politicians and the Green Peace Corps that currently inhabits the political swamp that is the Washington, D. C. that we know, abhor, and detest today. How is that for wisdom that comes with age? The forefathers did not have the wisdom or the vision we deserve of a supreme leader.

It is like the absolute power and unlimited corruption that comes with any leader. It was the same for the world when women ruled the men and it is what we have now that the men have ruled the women now. Absolution power = absolute corruption.

We have done better overall with our Democratic government and the government our forefathers set up, but it all ends with absolute power and absolute corruption. Our shining city on the hill has been a light that leads to wisdom for the rest of the world.

Or at least our democratic government has been a guiding light for centuries, at least since 1776 when the U. S. Constitution was written and enacted. We will continue on until the foreseeable future --rip or at least until the Second Coming -- and we are nearly there. Can't you feel it? Don't you see it? The U. S. Constitution is a marvelous and brilliant document and it has been amended and lasted until now -- or at least until Barack Obama ripped it to shreds and Donald Trump continues to rip the constitution to shreds. It must be the end of days and Christ has not come back yet -- or ever will.

There will be no Second Coming and there will be no Paradise as envisioned in Mohammed's Islamic Quran.

Creation's Universal God is not going to come to see us. HE set up the religions -- or at least allowed religions to be set up just as our U. S. Constitution was set up and continues to be amended, expanded, an revised. That is what is ahead for us -- at least until the end of the world is reached and the wisdom of the truth Universe's God can be understood and realized.

We are not there yet. We will be soon.

It takes time for humanity to realize that they don't have to follow the dictates of previous religions or leaders and we aren't there yet.

We will get there and we won't blow ourselves up or destroy our planet. That will not happen. We are not meant for extermination the way we exterminate insects like roaches or control them as we do by modifying our seeds to kill insects and keep them from breeding. We will not -- and do not -- rely on genetically modified seeds to sustain us. The planet will serve our needs as long as we pay attention and do not modify Mother Nature to the point that we cannot or will not survive.

At least I do not think so.

All these religions (Islam, Christianity, Judaism, LDS, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.) are humanity's answers to continue to survive -- and they are wrong.

All religions are a stopgap to keep us from killing each other and survive until the end comes and we are rewarded with the POINT to all existence. We are close, but we are not there yet.

Humanity is focused on sin and avoiding sin or at least making reparations for having sinned. We do not get it yet, but we are closer to the POINT.

The point is what it has always been -- be good to others and love. That is the whole of the law and always has been. Buddhists are closer to the truth, but they are still not on track. I prefer the Minbari peoples' beliefs: We are the Universe figuring itself out. We learn a step at a time, but the essence of it all is Love One Another and Do Good to One Another. That is close to the Jewish beliefs and Christianity also has a piece of the TRUTH.

With all of these religions and all of the different types of religion, we still don't have IT yet.  We're getting there, but NOT YET.

WE still have a way to go yet.

Buddha was closer to the truth and Buddha himself had it figured out, but humanity doesn't learn and still has not got it yet.

The United States has a handle on the Truth but politicians keep getting in the way of the POINT; that is what keeps hanging us up and keeping us from the realization that there is no GOD on this planet and that leaders keep getting in the way, snatching humanity from the realization that is is and has always been LOVE ONE ANOTHER and DO GOOD TO OTHERS. At least the Jews got it right and that is why the Muslims have not been able to exterminate them as Islam decided when Mohammed created Islam and said it was GOD's prophet. Mohammed wasn't GOD's prophet and he did not create a good religion when he dreamed up Allah, saving him from the ignominy of being just a moon god and elevating Allah to the God of the Universe. He failed the way all creators of religions fail --- HE WAS WRONG.

That is why Jimmy Swaggart and all the rest of the Christian leaders failed -- THEY WERE WRONG -- and being wrong tripped them up because they are still human and still make mistakes. At least they had part of it right -- we are under grace and grace will save us.

Mohammed's rule about beheading and torturing the apostates and homosexuals was wrong and all those people who died because of Mohammed's fixation on sin died and helped the Universe figure itself out that much sooner. Mohamed doesn't get points for that because people have evolved and moved on just as the Universe had already decided.

We think we have it all figured out. We think that God (our manmade gods) has the answer. We are wrong. We have always been wrong because we are humans trying to understand the Infinite, The Universe.

That is why I get what the Minbari believe -- we are the Universe trying to figure itself out. That is not only truth; that is also poetry and it is RIGHT.

If you don't get it yet, stick around and pay attention. You'll get it sooner than you think.


That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Already Known

Just when you think you know what people think of you, you don't.

I've always told people "...if you want to be seen as nice, be nice." I still believe that and I follow my own advice -- mostly. I don't worry about what people think of me because I'm nice (almost all the time). Saves me explanations and worrying about what people say and think about me. After all. I write about what I think and say ... just not worried about what people think. 

Then again, when I stop worrying about what people think, someone will pop up to remind me how I acted and what I did wrong. Oh, well, that's life.

Good thing I learned to listen without jumping in to explain myself and mend my fences.


Just when I think I've been polite and nice, I get slapped in the face with my own shortcomings. Oh, well, that's life. C'est la vie.

I wonder if that happens to you. Probably. Happens all the time.

It happened to me and I kept my mouth and my fingers silent. I listened.

That is the real problem -- staying silent and really listening. Same for reading -- I stay silent and read what has been put before me. Good plan.

I don't think people really listen and keep their mouths shut. Not only their mouths but their thoughts. If your thoughts are tumbling all over each other, you can't listen. Really listen ... and be nice.

I have worked hard to be pleasant so I don't have to explain myself.

Then again, sometimes I get waked up and struggle to remain polite, a fact that was the heart of the dressing down I endured when a friend tongue lashed me because I was ungracious and not as polite as I think I am (or was)  

I have news for you. You are not seen as nice as you think you are. Maybe you were awakened unceremoniously and thrown into the midst of a difficult situation. You don't have the same excuse, especially if you are out in the world in the middle of the day. You have no excuse. You are at that point who you always are -- an ungracious, rude, terse asshole. You have always appeared so to me, but I thought you probably watched your Ps and Qs among others. Guess not.

A new man came to fill the spot left by the maintenance man who left for a job with the state of Ohio, a better paycheck, and a future that he had gone to college (technical school) to obtain. We all wish him well, but I like this new maintenance man as well. The surprise for me was that he knew you and had had dealings with you. I didn't gloat and I did not do the Snoopy Happy Dance. Clint told me he knew you and that his opinion of you was exactly the same as mine. He could deal with you and knew you from his own dealings with you -- an uppity snob who looks down on everyone else.

That is my experience of you and I have sixty-two years of experience. He isn't adopted and he isn't trying to fit in. He is a man and has had to deal with you in various circumstances so he knows you very well and he is not impressed. Like me (or rather not like me) he has learned to keep his head down, maintain a neutral attitude so as not to startle you or awaken your negative attitudes or snobbishness and get away from the encounter intact and unharmed.

Unlike me, he is not related to you as I am and he does not have to deal with you with any frequency. He just wants to get out of the way and not awaken the snobbish dragon. I don't care. I am who and what I have always been and I don't worry about arousing the snobbish dragon. Clint has to get away intact and unscathed. I don't care. I have been disowned and you have never worried much about how I see you. You know I see you as you are. So does Clint. He sees you as you are and have always been. After all, you don't want to sleep with him and don't worry about how he sees you. You don't. You never have and never will worry.

C'est la vie.

I am no longer friends with my tongue lashing one-time friend. She has severed our relationship when I called her in the hospital to see how she is -- or was. I have made and lost friends over the years and she is another one, born of ruminating and polishing the worry stone that she had cast at me while I listened with my full attention.

Yes, I actually did listen -- really listen -- and I paid heed. Does not make a difference. She had been polishing that worry stone for a very long time. Nothing I did or said could or would have any effect.  I have to let it go, just like I let go the empty promise of being taken to Stow, Ohio. It happens, especially when empty promises take effect in the snobbish dragon. I don't worry about how it will turn out because what I worried about has happened and will not come again or be rectified. That time is past (has already passed by) and nothing will change because you will not change. You will be as you have always been and will always be; nothing will change because you cannot or will not change. I have been kicked out and nothing will be the same because the authors of this particular issue are long dead.

C'est la vie.

That is all. Disperse.

Monday, June 24, 2019

We are all Prejudiced

Photo by Stephen Melkithesian
I often think while I'm playing a mindless game and I realized that prejudice isn't about black or white, it is about the face we see in the mirror. We think that people that are different from us is the problem. That's wrong. The problem begins and ends with us. We are the problem. Prejudice and racism begin with the mirror, begins with us.

The face that looks back at us from the mirror makes it okay pretend for others like us to make mistakes as long as they are willing to say it out loud. I think that is why my father's hidden prejudice was so devastating to me because I grew up thinking he was not prejudiced and he was a fair man. After all, he accepted all people as they came and judged them on what they presented to us. That is why I was behind my Uncle Bob's open prejudice. He spoke up and told you to your face he was a racist. But that was not the problem, nor was it a problem that my father was racist. The problem was that he hid in plain sight, that he spoke the words of moderation and equality; he was actually a racist like my grandfather and every other Archie Bunker type racist I realized that I had been prejudiced all along.

I said the words. I espoused equality. I opened my arms and what I thought was my heart when I was as prejudiced as my Uncle Bob who said the words and would admit no black people into his home (like Mom) or into his heart. I realize that I am as closeted as my dad and every other racist person who pretends not to be racist. We are all in the closet and we say the words and we make the motions, but we are not free of the taint of prejudice. We are all racist in our heart of hearts, just like I am racist in my heart of hearts. Racism goes bone deep. Always has and always will be.

We will make allowances for those who are not like us, those who do not realize that racism is as endemic as the color of our blood, tissue, and ... ultimately sin color... because we haven't faced up to the facts.

Maybe racism began as a survival instinct. By that reasoning, that is why Islam and Mohammed have reached so far into the heart of this planet, this world. Islam is as closeted, and hence Mohammed, as a homosexual pretending to be straight. Of course, Mohammed was a twisted dwarf who fashioned his god to look as twisted and deformed as he was. That is a twisted and deformed way of thinking ... and believing.  We are all twisted and deformed when looking out of the eyes of Mohammed as he looks from the mirror of his soul and sees himself (or at least as he sees himself) to be. No wonder Islam forbids the believer to deviate from Mohammed's words as written down in the holy book, the Quran. That is why believers must say the words exactly as he inscribed them without deviation. How else could Islam have crawled from the depths of his deformed and twisted mind in the Middle Ages (1400+ years ago) into the modern world in the 21st century? Mohammed's twisted and deformed thoughts are squirming and deforming out modern minds because Mohammed decreed (as a commandment from the universe's GOD, Allah) it.

In Allah's words of course.

The problem lies with the mirror, the image that we see and that we believe is right above all others -- our own reflected image.
Photo by Stephen Melkithesian

We are not dealing with a rational mind -- especially in the case of Mohammed. We are dealing with the twisted and deformed utterings of an epileptic who had seizures and wrote his twisted and deformed thoughts into the Quran. The Quran is a holy book given to use through the medium of a twisted and deformed dwarf whose mother died when he was six and from out of the covering shadow of his mother's untimely death when he was tossed into the world grieving, twisted, and deformed. He was intelligent enough to figure out that a moon god in the pantheon where he had his brilliant epiphany that a forgotten moon god was the Ruler of the Universe, a GOD for all that he saw and codified in his holy book and thus GOD's utterances as he wrote them down while patterning his religion after the only religion in the world -- Judaism.

When Mohammed didn't get the seal of approval from the GOD OF THE JEWS, he decided to cover his backside by declaring that all believers in the GOD OF THE JEWS (Jews) had to be destroyed, annihilated, wiped out of existence because they had the effrontery to deny HIM (Mohammed) the stamp of approval he should have had because he was Allah's anointed prophet. How dare they? They must die. They could not be allowed to taint his holy visions with their ignorance and refusal to grant him the seal of approval he so desperately wanted -- and needed. How dare they?!

Much like Hans Christian Anderson's tale of the foul mirror that the demons carried up to place in front of God's throne to show him the foul warped mirror image dreamed up by Satan in his noxious dreams before they broke the mirror, the shattered foul mirror Satan devised broke into a billion pieces and warped that lodged in Kay's eyes and heart sending him into the Snow Queen's clutches to while away the endless hours in the freezing cold of her ice palace attempting to place the ice shards into the word eternity. Eternity is what Mohammed has damned the ardent followers of his warped and twisted religion, just like Mohammed damned his followers to fashion out of ice shards the word eternity. 

Eternity is what the Muslims will serve as they follow their prophet, Mohammed, into hell.

I would have followed Mohammed's warped followers into hell as well if I had not realized that racism begins and ends with the mirror -- a normal mirror not warped by the nefarious design of Satan. I am warped by my own imagination and my own closeted beliefs and feelings, not the warped design of my own fashioning. I am a racist.

There. I said it -- or at least wrote it for all to see and realize that I have finally admitted the truth, the truth that was denied by my father's own hidden truth -- he was a racist -- just as I am a racist.

Uncle Bob said it out loud. Dad refused to admit it out loud -- even to his own children -- he was a racist just as I am a racist. I am imperfect. I have always been imperfect and I am still imperfect -- at least to this point where I put it out into the world that I am a racist. 

I realize now that the only reason I tolerated my Uncle Bob's racism (just as I accepted Archie Bunker's racism because it was delivered in the form of comedy) is because Uncle Bob, like me, was white. He looked like the image I saw reflected in the mirror of my soul. That image accepts all things, even the warped and deformed, because he looked like me: he was white.

That is why I accept all things, because they look like me or are white.

That is also why I accepted the warped and deformed utterances of my mother because she was white. 

I fought her tooth and nail even though she was white because she was a racist. I accepted Dad's perfidy because he never said a thing. He said all the right things. He did all the right things. He was kind and generous and accepted all people; he couldn't be a racist.

Well, that is wrong. He was a racist just as I am a racist -- or was until I realized from where I was coming. All things are acceptable as long as the mirror reflects what you see as being just like you. That means the same is true, not only of me, but for all people. The mirror image you see makes everything acceptable.
If you are black, you will accept all things because you see black in your mirror. That makes all things acceptable as far as you are concerned. Everything else is all right for you because it is black -- or red -- or yellow -- or purple with green polka dots -- because the image you see in the mirror is the same as the one looking back at you.

I apologize to all the wrong-headed people I criticized before I realized that I was a racist, too. I was wrong. I hope I am putting that wrongness right at last.

I was wrong.

I realize that now.

I apologize to all people (red, yellow, black, and white) for seeing you as wrong. I was wrong.

We all are wrong ... just not as wrong as a twisted and deformed dwarf like Mohammed. 

That is why I reject Allah and God and all forms of gods and why I am an atheist. I realize that we are all wrong because we cannot see or comprehend the reality of the universal being at the heart of all things. We can see and imagine a being at the center of all things, but we cannot really comprehend such a being because we are finite beings and, though we have a creative and vast imagination, we are not THE UNIVERSE'S GOD.

We are finite. We are human. We are wrong.


Here's hoping that we will finally realize that fact and not push our warped and deformed religious utterances on others.

I recently saw a documentary on how China deals with Muslims and Mohammed's followers -- they indoctrinate the Muslims and teach them  (brainwash them). I deplore using such methods on people, but hasn't Mohammed been indoctrinating his followers with their five times daily prayers? Where Mohammed succeeded with his CYA methods, warped and wrong-headed as they were and are, they and he has succeeded. He has demonized the Jews. He has brainwashed children and millions of believers in Allah. He has warped and deformed the mentality of the populace for over fourteen hundred years. He has obliterated and annihilated common sense and thinking/evolving for yourselves. He has set the course for Satan in his warped and deformed imagination for all eternity. He has placed the planet on course for destruction.

And he (or at least Allah in Mohammed's diseased imagination) has set our feet on the wide road into HELL for eternity (where we will remain for all time).

We will have no chance to free ourselves from ultimate destruction and will end up in Paradise or hell unless we examine our hearts and turn away from the abyss.

And yet we cannot because Allah declares it so (as Mohammed has writ).

That is all. Disperse.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

We are Wrong!

Sitting here without a car, the only thing I can think about is finding a way to get around. It's the same problem my father had when we lived in Panama and Mom had the car. He bought and rode a bicycle. I know. I tried to ride his bike when it was home and I had two problems: my legs were too short and there was a high bar (man's bicycle) I had to get over to work the pedals. I learned how to do it, but it hurt every time I had to stop quickly. I was impaled by the bar between my legs catching me between the legs. I suffered the pain and got on with riding the bike.

I am sitting here without my license because of an 18-year old warrant on my Ohio drivers' license that I cannot get removed until I can get myself up to Stow, Ohio to talk to a judge and have it removed. You are up to date on that part of the equation. I have decided to go a different way -- I will get a bike and propel myself around with a bicycle. No impediments to riding a bike now because my legs are much longer and I don't have to put up with that bar catching me between the legs. I can get the pedals easily and I will because I am willing to trade my Teeter inversion table (paid for) for a brand new bicycle. No Peloton for me. I just want a bicycle and I will have one. If I can't trade for it, I will save up my pennies and get one for myself or trade my labor for a bike at the local bicycle shop here in Urbana. I will HAVE my bike. You watch me. I don't mind the rain and I don't mind the sun. I WILL get around. Watch me.

By trade of volunteer services of trade of my brand new, paid for Teeter inversion table, I will get around and I will get a job -- one way or the other.

Riding a bike will also make me fitter and healthier, so a bike is also a carbon-neutral form of transportation. More people should be riding bicycles and not buying twenty plus thousand cars that pollute the air and get you there faster. If you don't mind the rain or the sun and like the wind blowing in your face, get a bike. No one, not even the GREEN POLICE will stop you and you will be more athletic, fitter, and better able to pedal out of their way.

I don't know why we tend to think of life as an exercise powered by car. Probably it is the first thing we think about as soon as we are able to get a drivers license. No problem there, but I am tired of thinking in the box. I'd rather think out of the box and get a bike. I will be farther ahead in the scheme of things and better off athletically and personally. No one is going to worry about me if I am pedaling a bike. I can get a slicker when it gets wet and I might even dodge the raindrops with a bike.

As I think about it now, I didn't think of Dad as being ahead of the game. He had to leave the car for Mom and I have no car to leave since I left it in Colorado when I sold it to the next door neighbor and still haven't been paid. Oh, well, that's no problem for me. I will NOT give him the title. It's cheaper than taking him to court -- and a lot easier since I will not travel back to Colorado to take him to court. No problem.

I think about things like getting a bike. Dad had the answer but it is not one I had to think about before I was dumped here in Urbana. I think about all the things my dad managed when he was out of options. That is what I think about now. The other options.

I have spoken about my dad living a closeted life because he was a homosexual, not a problem in today's society with everyone covering their backsides about prejudice. I'm sure that Dad would not have worried in today's society, except that he was pretending to be straight in a straight world. My siblings are turning their heads because they cannot accept that our father was homosexual and pretending to be straight. I'd say he was bisexual since he had no trouble dealing with Mom, but he was still closeted and pretending to be straight because that was expected of him. I thought of him as my father and didn't give it a second thought when I learned he was other.

Maybe it was because he was always adapting to his environment just as he adapted to his environment when he pretended to be straight. Gays were not accepted in the military though he had friends who were homosexual like John Kane who had been banished to Panama by his cosmetics mother who also paid him to stay hidden. The world had not yet gotten the word that Liberace and heartthrob Rock Hudson were homosexuals or that much of Hollywood's elite were also homosexuals. It doesn't even turn heads now. We don't talk about the women who were also pretending to be straight though they were homosexual (lesbian). All are equal and all are out of the closet now and it is past time that my father is out of the closet as well. It doesn't turn heads and I am sure Uncle Bob would have been prejudiced about dad being a homosexual, although I am sure Uncle Bob and all the people that noticed that dad ran funny and was a bit effeminate. They don't have anything to say now because they are all dead and only I am alive to remember. It didn't matter to me and it still doesn't matter. After all, Dad had a bicycle and he rode the bike whenever he didn't get the car.  I don't have a car and I'm tired of having to call and get the bus or a ride when I don't have a car either.

I will hop on my bike and get where I need to go.

There are solutions if you are willing to look and think outside the box and I won't have to worry about drinking and pedaling or about insurance because I don't have a car. A bike is a better alternative and no one, not even the up in arms Green Police can get up in arms if they can't catch me since I will be riding a bike.

With all the hoopla about the energy crisis, no one is even thinking about alternative methods of dealing with the energy crisis. How about thorium, a cleaner burning, safer, and very accessible and very plentiful fuel source. It is lying about, doesn't have to be mined, and already has the power plants built to receive and use thorium. In that case, China and India are already ahead of us and getting farther away. China has been using and building nuclear reactors for decades, using our own plans and information, and so is India ahead in this matter. Maybe that will get the US off their elitist behinds and get them working on building more reactors. If catching up to China is the brass ring, let's get it done and get moving. Maybe the Green Police will stop talking about their draconian methods of saving the planet and get behind the thorium nuclear reactor. We don't have to build our plants near the ocean the way that Japan did where they are tsunamis ready to smash into the island nation of Japan and take their nuclear reactor offline. Our nuclear reactors are built in Tennessee along the Tennessee Valley Authority (TVA). FDR must've known something since it was his plan that put people back to work building the reactors along the TVA in the first place.

Scientists backed away from nuclear power, not because it wasn't safe (It was always safe) but because their grants and government-funded work was cut off. We don't have to worry about that now because our world is in peril. We need nuclear power NOW. Thorium is the best bet and doesn't cause the same problems since we don't have Jane Fonda and Hollywood screaming at us about the China Syndrome in our ears. We can still watch Fonda in The China Syndrome on the TV and on DVDs. We can reminisce but we do not have to chain ourselves to the past. We have a closer and more possible future ahead of us. The China Syndrome will be getting behind in the cleaner and safer nuclear race, the same thing that the US and JFK used to get the United States ahead of Russia in the space race and get us to the moon first. Once again, we will have to follow China to the finish line by renewing our race to the finish by getting the thorium nuclear plants started and start pumping out cleaner and safer and far more affordable energy to the public. No hydrogen stations and no more coal mines or oil drilling and fracking with its myriad downsides. All we need to do is use what we have and what is already mined and ready to pick up and use thorium. That is all we need. We do not have to adopt the draconian measures that Democrats and the Green Police are ready to stuff down our collective throats. All we need to do is pick up where we left off, join the clean and affordable and eminently available thorium nuclear reactor waiting for us to get smart and get out of our own way plans. I am afraid we will all have to give up eating meat and that does not mean eating the pink slime that we grow in the labs either. All we need to do is gradually go vegetarian and get on with it. We will be healthier and cleaner and pick up where we left off to follow the faster and more expensive older reactors. When the thorium goes critical all we need to do is let it run out of the reactor and everything stops. No Fukushima. No Three Mile Island. No Chernobyl. Just clean energy without waste and we can breathe easier and cleaner.

Once again, we have the demon to follow -- China. We can add India and call it a three-way split or we can call it done. We can keep our solar energy, our wind farms, and our hydroelectric, but thorium is the way to go. Let's follow the leader and jump the queue. That is how we got ahead of the Russians to get to the moon first. Why don't we jump the queue again and get to the future ahead of coal-burning China and the innovative Indians. We will be first in the future.

We will get there however we need to get there, but we WILL get there.

That is all. Disperse.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Trivia Queen

Money without the TRAP
I've been on a trivia kick, answering questions about actors and actresses, music groups, and movies. I've missed one or two, but overall, I've seen a lot and remembered it all. I guess I do not have Alzheimer's after all. That's good. I'd rather have my memories intact than end up a vegetable, especially since I'm also eating clean and also eating a lot of fat, not so much protein, but a whole lot of fat and vegetables. That's a good thing -- isn't it?

I was surprised by the music groups. I guess I saw more than I thought I had and remembered it all. Good for me. Well, there is the talk that people with Alzheimer's have more issues with cognitive decline and hearing problems than anything else. My hearing is fine. The only problem is that I have ruined my eyes by wearing and relying on magnifying glasses, the kind I've used for years to see up close and personal even though my optometrist said my eyes were perfect. I think I was good at hiding the truth from myself as well as her. I'm a bad girl and knowing how to squint to bring things into focus. Of course, I will admit that I rely on my magnifying glasses to see up close even though it was only for cross stitch and not for reading -- until recently. Cheating. See?

So, the fact is that I have cheated myself into wearing glasses to see up close, and not just for cross stitch. Oh, well, I don't mind wearing glasses and I'm comfortable with the glasses I have. Almost twenty or so years ago, I began wearing one contact in the bad eye and complaining about not being able to read when I wore both contacts. My optometrist suggested I wear only one contact and leave the other uncorrected so I could read up close. That is when it began. I started wearing magnifying glasses when I did cross stitch and that led to wearing them whenever I had to read a menu or do cross stitch. The habit became something I did more than when I had to cross stitch and now I can't read or see things up close without the cheaters and so I will have to go to an optometrist and get my eyes checked and give up the cheaters to wear newer, better contacts, or get my eyes fixed with LASIK. BB did that and she cannot use her lasered eyes without wearing glasses so I will keep the cheaters and make an appointment with an optometrist and see how my eyes really are. I have been up and down the eye chart and I have no problems seeing the chart so I will deal with it and keep the cheaters or opt for LASIK surgery which does not have a great track record, not that I've seen. I will eventually end up wearing glasses to see the menu and my cheaters work fine for that now. Oh, well. With age come problems and I've already dealt with the problems and so here I go.

Once a time I had astigmatism and wore gold flecked pink glasses when I was prepubescent. I'm already there and so I'll keep my cheaters and go on with it. I can and do use them to hold back my short but curly hair when it's clean and that works fine. No big deal. I'll deal with it as I always have since I don't have much money until I find a job or get the proposed COLA raise on my Medicare income. The proposed raise in the Cost Of Living Increase (COLA) is supposed to be $70 and that would be about will be about $840 a year more. I'll take it. I've already written to my congressional representative and senators to vote yes and signed my name to the letter I sent. Finally, a COLA cost of living adjustment that will finally be worth having. During Obama's tenure in office, he didn't raise the Medicare COLA once, except when he first got in and that was left over from when George W. Bush was president, as Obama told us, blaming his mistakes on George W for raising the national debt to unheard of levels. It is only right that he face the truth and accept that Bush raised the COLA before he left office and Obama got the bragging rights for it. Trump gave us a hefty COLA this time and that is all on Trump. Obama had no part of that, although the Democrats are proposing the COLA raise to $70 per month, an actual cost of living adjustment that will make a difference. I'll take it. Stick that in your pipe, Obama, and smoke it with my regards. I'll take it.

Trump has done more for those of us making do with Medicare by bumping the COLA raise this year $56 a month, but I'd like the $70 a month raise when the law is rewritten and I hope they plug the gap that Clinton and every other politician has used to balance the budget and cover their fiscal backsides. At last, the money will go to the people who worked for it for their whole lives and we can almost make due on what is left without covering their political backsides and balancing the budget with the rest. I'll take the $840 a year hit when it comes and I don't want to have to wait until January 1. 2020 to get my money. Send it now. Change the law and don't hamstring the government while you make it right. Think of the people you've been screwing forever and give us what is due. It's still not the $2600 a month I should have, but sign the papers and send me my money now. RIGHT NOW!

I've worked my whole life and a COLA that actually keeps pace with the current cost of living is long past due. Get it done!

One last thing before I turn in for the night. I made the dean's list this term. I think I'll make it again this term as well. I'm doing all right and I'm actually writing for a change with good grades. I still don't like doing the math, but I'm doing very well with that and will pass the course and move onward and upward. So much for Alzheimer's and my brain. I've still got it.

That is all. Disperse.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Male or Female? They decide. You live with it.

Kazimierz PuĊ‚aski (Casimir Pulaski)
In this era of the #MeToo movement and the public outcry against the crimes women have been subjected to, we are finding out more in the graves and questions about who or what is buried where. It seems that women have been found in graves purportedly to be men's graves, throwing a monkey wrench into the debate. Sometimes the women have been found to be posing as men prior to the exhumation -- at least as far as modern historians and anthropologists are concerned. Now it turns out that these women are indeed biologically women, at least as far as the historical record is concerned, and their gender muddies the waters historically. Or do they?

It seems these women are considered by our modern technology to be intersex, outwardly appearing to be men when in reality they are biologically women. It is rather a sticky wicket as far as modern society sees these things.

The issue is not only the identity of the skeleton but the public outcry that would have these intersex skeletons declared male or female and an end put to the whole question. That is not going to happen when women are denied their proper place in history (at least in the case of women being exhumed and found to be Viking warriors.) Will this too become a sticky wicket because the exhumed body appears to be female or the person who was interred passed as male though s/he is being considered intersex -- neither one or the other or both male and female in one body?

There are those, like talk host, Ben Shapiro, talks about how men and women are biologically determined and speaks out about blurring the gender lines. he forgets that all through history there have been men posing as women and vice versa and that is endemic throughout history. This gender fluidity is not new but has been around since the beginning of time. It seems that man-made gods do make mistakes -- or so it seems when intersex skeletons shatter our certainty about the factual evidence when male graves are exhumed and the male turns out to be female, as in the case of Casimir Pulaski the Polish soldier who fought in the American Revolution and is the father of the American cavalry, except that Kasmierz Pulaski's grave shows a female was buried instead of Casimir.

The point is that Casimir lived his life as a male, appeared to be a male, but was actually intersex, having the features of male and female. He had the soft features of femininity but had a mustache and male pattern baldness and his skeleton was definitely female. Casimir who has a holiday in his honor in Illinois and Chicago specifically lived his/her life as a male and is remembered for his exploits as an officer in Washington's army. No one questioned his gender or his identity as he was purportedly a male -- or at least posing as a male, specifically a male officer. He passed for a male, identified as a male, and was buried with honors as a revolutionary war hero, a male. It wasn't until now when his grave has been exhumed that his skeleton is definitely female. There's the rub.

There really is no issue, not in modern times, when the public at large accepts sexual reassignment was the father of the cavalry) the cavalry, and was buried with honors. That his skeleton proves him to be otherwise than he saw himself and passed for male doesn't matter. He chose his gender and lived his life as a man. He is who and what he said he was and his female skeleton does not change that at all.
Female Viking?
A 19th-century illustration of the contents of the tomb, which was quickly
identified after its discovery as that of a high-ranking warrior.CreditCredit
Evald Hansen/The Swedish History Museum

Unlike modern times, a man passing for a woman or vice versa is something we expect and seldom say anything. This is not someone who is a female, decidedly so, who has chosen to take hormones and has had the surgery to become a male, but someone whose gender is considered intersex, having the features of a man, dressing as a man, and being buried as a man being found to be a female.

This is not one of those cases. This is a biological anomaly that has been discovered long after the fact and does not fit in with the male/female dichotomy of the past. Most likely, his parents didn't bat an eye at their son being intersex and accepted him as he was. He earned honors and excelled at being a soldier, fighting in the Revolutionary War, earning honors as a horseman, being so good at it that he created (surgery as normal, de rigueur.)

Would liberals, or others so inclined, change the history to favor the female skeleton found in his grave or will we simply let it go and let him be who and what he decided to be? I think it is possible that though we can change the physical appearance of a man to be a woman or vice versa, we should let history decide what had already been decided. We should accept Casimir Pulaski as a male and let history show him as a male, reserving our opinions to ourselves. What does it matter that Casimir was intersexed, both male and female, and let history remain as it was and is forever?

In a sense, Casimir Pulaski is a genetic oddity and there are many such genetic oddities that have been and always will be. Liberals can have this one since Casimir and his parents decided how to deal with his intersexuality and call him male. No one needs to change anything, just live with the knowledge as a fact we found out long after it mattered to him and his family. Nothing will be harmed nor should it be. Nor should it matter to historians, anthropologists, and #MeToo proponents that sometimes gender doesn't matter. It's all about who and what the person was when they were alive, not now that anthropologists and historians have discovered the world is far more complex and interesting than it originally was.

The same is true of whether or not women were Viking warriors. No doubt, some of them were also intersex and their original gender matters only to nitpickers now that their skeletons have been exhumed and what we thought we would find turns out to be different than we originally expected to find. If a skeleton turns out to be male or female, the fact remains that during their lives they were who and what they were and we cannot change the past nor can we predict the future. Let them be and move on. Celebrate what they achieved and do not seek to tack a gender to their exploits or use them to further your gender cause now or ever.

Sometimes people choose to be inside and their appearance to the world at large should allow them to be what they feel they are and the manner they wish to be seen. Gender is fluid and we have reached the point where a person can choose to be whatever gender they decide. We have the surgical techniques to reshape their outward form to coincide with their inner truth and accept them as they are or as they wish to be. That is all and all about it. They decide how they wish to appear and we should applaud them for their deeds and exploits and not pin them to whatever makes US happy when it is the person's desires and wishes that are paramount. That is all that matters.

That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Disowned is not the end

Over forty years ago, Mom threatened to disown me if I joined the military. She said the only women who went into the military were tramps, whores, prostitutes, and basically fallen women. I wanted to be part of the family and the idea of being disowned was frightening to me. I feared being without family and so I backed off and decided against joining the military -- any military service. I didn't want to be a fallen woman.

I didn't realize that Mom was rigid and prejudiced and I didn't realize that she was playing me. I didn't realize that until after I had given up my dreams of being an Air Force pilot or joining the military -- any military branch. I didn't want to be disowned.

Forty years later, I have returned to Ohio (something I swore I would never do as long as Mom was alive -- she died six years ago) and my siblings have disowned me. They claim they disowned me because of my writing (about them). I have been back in Ohio for over a year and I have been unemployed during that time, counting on my job, which was a mistake since all my years of work have been for naught. The thing is that though I am still unemployed, I have gone to college and have decided to change my future for one that has a longer shelf life. My job, over thirty years of doing medical transcription, has been a bust. I could return to medical transcription if I wanted to continue being paid less than what I earned as a novice 33 years ago, but I have decided to pursue another career, one that will pay me better and help me survive and thrive in my senior years. I should have worked for the state as my siblings have done, but I wanted to make my own life. It didn't turn out well because I planned on a much different life. I have my social security income, which isn't much. I should have opted for a military career, told my mom to go pound sand, and become a fallen woman, with a career and a future, and become what she considered a fallen woman.

That was then and this is now. I am still disowned and I continue to write and I will write what comes to me and what I disgorge onto the virtual page (like here) or onto paper. I will continue to be what and who I have always been. I have even returned to art, picking up my drawing skills and improving on them, adding depth and climbing up the hilly path to the future. Life gives and life takes away and that is life. Since I'm still breathing and kicking, I will continue to forge ahead, get my college degree, pick up my art, and continue to write. I may one day write and sell more books, write speeches, and write about my life no matter who buys my books or not. I will continue to forge ahead on the path as it is laid out for me.

That may include politics. That may also include teaching. That may include whatever the heck I want to do and I will succeed -- with or without my family. I am adaptable, but I seem to have forgotten that -- until now. I will continue to adapt and forge ahead until the end -- when I'm 150 years old -- or older -- without the support of my family who has disowned me for speaking and writing my truth. As I said, I forgot but I remember that I am adaptable.

That is all. Disperse.

Sunday, April 07, 2019

Getting Trumped

The Democrats have impeachment on their minds and have had since Trump beat Hillary and became the POTUS. Even with Mueller and his investigative team returning with no collusion, the Democrats are still beating the impeach Trump drum and beating their breasts. They are really pissed. So were the Republicans when Obama was POTUS for two terms, and they talked about impeachment endlessly and did nothing. NOTHING. It was all talk because the Republicans did not have a leg to stand on -- or so they said.

The real problem was -- and still is -- that there is no impeachable offense where Trump is concerned. At least that is what Mueller's report says -- no collusion and no impeachable offense. Keep beating that impeachment drum, Rep. Maxine Waters, and you will get just as far as the Republicans did when they were beating the impeachment drum for Obama over his illegitimacy as POTUS since he was born in Kenya. Got that?

The Republicans knew in their heart of hearts that Obama was not impeachable for his Kenyan birthplace because Obama wasn't born in Kenya. but his putative father was born in Kenya. Got that? No, Obama wasn't born in Kenya and his putative father was NOT Barack Obama, Sr. Obama was born the year before in Washington state. Luckily (or unluckily -- pick your own) Obama was not born of the Kenyan student with whom Stanley Ann Dunham had chosen for her baby daddy. She was already pregnant with her illegitimate son to be named Barack Obama after her chosen baby daddy, Barack Obama, Sr. Barack Obama, Jr., called Barry thereafter since Dunham had already chosen her baby daddy to hide the fact that she was already pregnant with Malcolm X's illegitimate offspring, something Obama, Sr. didn't realize since he was drunk most of the time (Dunham probably kept him drunk to keep from noticing her swelling belly) or maybe she didn't need to keep Obama, Sr. drunk since she had not hooked up with him and pretended to get pregnant by Obama, Sr. Or maybe this is all a fantasy written by a fanciful writer like me. OR NOT.

 Anyway, however it happened in real life, the lie went on as Dunham planned it and we, the people, had to live with it thereafter -- like the lie that Barry was a homosexual and married to a woman and had two daughters and went to Wright's church for 20 years without once suspecting he was committing political suicide by listening to Rev. Joshua Wright's Malcolm X inspired pulpit rants against the USA and the black slaves who had Plymouth Rock fall on top of them. Wright and Obama knew they couldn't come out in public and Wright might have to agree to have Obama publicly run over him with the bus while Wright laid down in the street in front of the bus, back up, and run over him again and again once Obama sold his HOPE  AND CHANGE to the clueless masses. Wright was perfectly willing to take the hit and keep his mouth shut once Obama was in office as the first black president. Too bad the masses don't realize that Obama was a native son, born of their own Malcolm
X and born in Washington state and not in Kenya. One more lie with which to get comfortable among the lies and US Constitution trampling that Barry did during his tenure in the Oval Office in the White House. Democrats were all willing to follow Barry into the fires of Hell, but the Republicans were going to push back and impeach the illegitimate POTUS. TAke that gullible and starry-eyed masses.

You have been smacked in the face. You could point to the present POTUS, Donald J. Trump, and scream until you're blue in the face, but you've been had and the Democrats are still screaming impeachment as you screamed impeachment and did nothing while Barry stuck it to you. Sorry, Democrats. Not even with your virulent witch hunt for Trump's scalp on collusion, a collusion that Obama and the Clintons and the gullible Democrats dreamed up to get rid of Trump, take that! You got us and now we got you back. Trump is the reality Democrats have to suck on now that the pendulum has swung back for Obama's illegitimate presidency. I think it was too much to hide the truth and keep lying to the American people a little bit too long to swallow Obama's second term in the wake of Hillary's perfidy and the whitewashing that Comey did for her with his FBI investigation and his lies and payoff. Too much Clinton, too much Hillary, and too much Obama lying to keep swallowing when the country is gagging on all of the Democratic shindigs too close together. We, the American people, could swallow Obama if you had made his homosexuality public or copped to his actual birthplace a year earlier or not being born of Obama, Sr. but of native son Malcolm X. But you had to force feed the long con Dunham dreamed up and sold to her illegitimate offspring by continuing the lie about Obama, Sr. and the Russia connection earlier. But you had to keep lying and keep those lawyers running around the country to hide the truth about Barry's Kenyan birth. It's like an inveterate gambler who keeps pushing his/her luck until it blows up in his/her face.

The result is President Donald Trump as a result. Too bad Trump is not an European plant, but an American born president who did not collude with Russia. You might have had it better if Hillary hadn't kept her private server in her downstairs bathroom and tried to hide her perfidy. You might have been able to get by with it, but not after eight years of Obama and the coverup over Bengazi won you the second term you had to have. Like a spider weaving its web and with Comey's assistance and the lie upon lie upon lie that you continued to pile up like a tangled spiderweb, you were on borrowed time and piling up too many webs to ever get clear of it to put Hillary over, even with Barry's help. Maybe Michelle was just too much too much on top of Hillary's greed and the vaunted Clinton hubris to put it over. You had to get caught up in pushing the boat too far out with holds in the hull. You got Trump. Yell impeachment all you want, but you should have chosen an impeachable offense not the fake collusion lie you've been selling in your greed and hubris. You got stung. Sit it out and hope you can come up with something better to beat Trump at the polls the next election.

I'm not a Trump fan, but I realize that the circus clown has done a good job and has delivered far more than Barry's hope and change he promised for eight years while he shredded the US Constitution and trampled it under his expensive shoes. Good dressing and calm demeanor will get you only so far. Trump is a businessman and he is what we got in the aftermath of Barry and Hillary's hubris. Like I said, truth is better by far and you don't end up being greedy and full of hubris and get Trump as a reward. You got away with Bengazi and the private server for Hillary in her basement bathroom. You got away with two terms for Barry with his overweaning pride and hubris and his lies, so put up with Trump's tweets and put up a Democrat that isn't going to keep up the lie of climate change in the wake of the truth. You can only lie for so long before you get trumped

That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, April 03, 2019

Back into society

It has been a while since I wrote something here or anywhere else. The time is done. I'm ready to write -- again.

I was accosted on Facebook from Billie Jo Fitch (or whoever she is now that she is married and settled). I had posted a GoFundMe post to help me defray the costs of having a car now that I am back in Ohio. Billie Jo is my foster sister, the young girl from a broken family who came to live with us, or rather with the Mushroom and Beany when they were the only children still living at home. Billie Jo and her brother, Robert, were chosen to live with us because they were similar in age to the Mushroom and Beany and would keep them company. Billie Jo and Robert were from a broken home and had been sent to Children's Services to live with foster families. There were more of the Fitches, like Beth, Wanda, and the other children who were older and younger than Billie Jo and Robert, some of them nearing majority and being old enough to go out on their own.

I've not seen or heard from Billie Jo since I left Ohio almost 20 years ago and she shows up on Facebook, which has been one of the worst sites for reconnecting with old friends and frenemies and even antagonists.  Billie Jo and Beany used to babysit with my young boys on weekends while I worked or went out on the town with some random guy back when I dated. Billie Jo and Beany stayed in my apartment and kept an eye on the boys. They could be a handful at times, but the girls were up to the task. That was more than 30 years ago when I was still young and dating.

In between, Billie Jo and Beany have gone on with their lives and I went on with mine. I occasionally chatted with Beany until I moved back to Ohio, but no more. Her time is taken up by her new husband and their children: his and hers. Beany has also retired and Billie Jo claims she has not fared well when it comes to my writing about my life when I include Beanie and BB in my writing. I can be blunt and judgmental at times, and it usually comes out when I illustrate a point or something about my life from my perspective. That is how the Mushroom, Beany, and BB have featured in my blogs and journals when I write about myself -- from my point of view.

Mom fostered Billie Jo and Robert to fill her shrinking nest again. She didn't look forward to getting older or her children leaving the nest and got another boy, one of the three, four, or five boys she added to her nest in previous years. One was from another broken home, two were teenage boys that were talented and second cousins that grew up and moved on with their lives. Dave and Earl went their separate ways, Dave to the Marines and Earl to the big wide world. They were more mine and BB's age and were briefly considered kissing cousins temporarily, but that didn't stick either. I had my own boyfriends and so did BB, one of whom she actually married and had two children with when she moved out and on after years of back and forth disagreements and jewelry to make up and get back together. Her first husband went by the wayside along the way and BB married again and again and again. Dave liked BB well enough, but there were no sparks flying from that pairing.

Beany married and went her way, keeping her children close and Mom and Carol kept Beany's husband close until time took its toll and Beany went through the breakup of her marriage, keeping her marriage together until the bitter end. And bitter it was. Then she met her present husband and took over helping raise her husband's teenage boys from his previous marriage.

I'm sure Billie Jo went her own way, met her husband, and had her children from her marriage. It wasn't like Beany, BB, and the Mushroom kept their lives from me, even including me in their weddings and the births of some of their children. For the rest of their lives, I have hovered in the background chasing around the country, following my job wherever it took me, and it took me many places all around the country. I always loved to travel and followed the road over the next hill and the hill after that, spending time in most of the states, living there briefly before moving on down the road everywhere my heart and my car took me. I had good times and bad times and in between times following the road and taking my job with me wherever I went. I connected online, did my job, made new friends, and made my way alone. Always alone. Good thing I had no problem being alone and making my way in new states and communities, making friends, making dates, and keeping the road hot as I traveled.

I kept in touch with Mom and my three siblings by phone and I kept in touch by letter as well. Good thing I had a cache of stamps to stick to the letters and wrote to friends, family, and cousins, uncles, and aunts. I liked writing letters and keeping in touch. I especially liked writing to my Uncle Bob who always called and we talked for a couple of hours whenever he was around and feeling chatty.

My favorite uncle died a year or so ago and I miss him still. Since I have moved back to Ohio, I have spent an Easter dinner with my cousins and their friends, siblings, and friends. I was back and back in the lap of my extended family, though I missed my uncle at least I was glad to be back with my family and eating good cooking and great friendship. My cousin Laura picked me up at the rehab since I was out of the hospital and brought me back, but I enjoyed spending time with all of my cousins, friends, spouses, and my Aunt Lois. I was home.

It wasn't the homecoming I expected, but it was a homecoming I enjoyed and shared the Easter meal with all of my relatives and friends. Since that time, I have moved back out into the world and got to know more of my extended family in real life and not just in pictures, of which I have many. I'm here to tell you that pictures are great memories, but they do not compare to the real life vision and feeling of having family around you.  There is nothing like being close enough to share a meal and a holiday with family. I always loved family meals and though there are fewer of us now that the older ones of us have gone, family is family as long as there is love, communication, and more love.

Billie Jo was not present when I returned to Ohio nor did she visit me in the hospital or rehab. Since she has been a no-show, going on about her life and making connections with her own family, I didn't miss her just as I didn't miss her when I was keeping the roads hot and traveling around the country. You don't miss what you never really had. Billie Jo, Robert, Bertha (now called Beth), Wanda, and the rest had their own life after they moved on and out of Mom's ever full nest. Her nest eventually emptied and found their own lives, had their own children, and celebrated the holidays their own way. I am happy for them and wish them all the best.

Unfortunately, Billie Jo accosted me with her preconceived notions of me, remembering the past, especially the less than savory parts when I was fumbling and finding my own place in the world.  She remembers the unsavory parts and has not gotten to know me since then and definitely not now that I am a senior citizen, fumbling and finding my own place back in Ohio as a senior citizen who has been gone a long time and who has kept up with those who were and have been close to me.

I have a new life and new hurdles to take and now that I am back in society trying to find a different path for myself since the part of the path I have walked for over thirty years had been taken from me and sent offshore, leaving me alone and bereft. To that end I have decided to travel this new road through the virtuals halls of college, finding a new way of looking at life and society and carving out a new future since my old future has been jerked out from underneath me.

I'm like a cat; I always land on my feet -- even if it takes a while to twist and turn until I land on my feet when I was dropped from a prodigious height. I still landed on my feet and I am open to whatever the universe sends me. I am adaptable and I always land on the path heading in the right direction -- forward.

Today, I received news that my queries about the future have born fruit. I may have missed the Publisher's Clearing House fan, but I got the next best thing: a government grant that will pay my way now that I am volunteering my services and time for Hospice and all the other places where I can, as my professor, Dr. Linda des Jardines, pointed out. Volunteering gives a prospective employer someone who is motivated to train and learn and who will eventually fit into the fabric of their business and lives.

That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

In the face

Still figuring all this out since this is the first time I've lived in Ohio in over 17 years. It is a daunting task but I am up to the task. Good thing I've had to do this -- signing up and fitting into a community -- for decades. I am here. I am staying here. I am back to being a Buckeye Beauty who is also an aging Army brat, and now I'm an aging Army brat and Buckeye beauty living in the Buckeye state. How is that for change?

I've been approved at last for membership to the county YMCA and will be volunteering for the public library and for Hospice if I can pass all the hurdles and get signed up for everything. I might even find a job, the kind that pays, come to that.

Last week I went to the Wherehouse and was told that I am not a likable person. This has been said about me all along, but this is the first time I got it square in the face and couldn't ignore what was being said. I was told I was considered ungracious and tart and didn't come off well. Considering not coming off well, I'd have to cite the fact that I was awakened from a deep sleep and had to start running to keep up. At times like that when I'm unprepared and foggy, I tend to get quiet. I didn't have a good day, probably from being awakened to being fully awake and didn't have my bright-eyed and bushy-tailed self in hand. Or something like that.

I could also say that living alone and communicating with other people have been in my control and I often probably came off as short-tempered and probably ungracious as well. I'll have to work on that, get back into fighting fit, or at least not fighting, but fitter than I have been for a very long time.

Oh, well, I'm back in society again and I will have to work on communicating with others and not pontificating or speechifying -- at least not until I'm fully ensconced in politics. Or not. I'll have to figure that out when I am in front of the audience and must kiss babies and thank even the nastiest of politicians. I can do that, but I"ll have to brush off my smile and drag it out to face the world. I'm not unlikable, but I will have to brush off my bright-eyed and bushy-tailed best. I think I still have that persona still on file somewhere in the attic.

I didn't realize I was so far off my game, but I am and probably have been for a decade or three. Even my fellow students have commented on my demeanor, so it must be true. There is nothing like a bucket of ice water directly in the face when you're not expecting it, but there it is. I've been dashed with a whole bucket of icy water. I'll have to work on that.

That is all. Disperse.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Time = Patience and Wisdom

One thing that getting older and unemployed brings is patience. If I didn't have sufficient time I would've run on and on and not gotten a jot or a tittle of wisdom. Time also equals wisdom and I have a lot of that.

Time wounds all heels -- or heals all wounds come to that.

Time would also help those heading towards divorce and maybe the litigants will gain wisdom and patience.

Today, I looked through and read some of O Magazine. I have a new view of Oprah again. I liked her when she first emerged on TV because she was an intelligent and heavyset icon. It was the same reason for watching Roseanne; she was fat like me and she was funny. I especially enjoyed the funny and she did not let me down. I watched the show all the years it was on and began watching it when it was rebooted -- until Roseanne was booted off the air when her tweets came back to bite her in the backside. I'm not against being booted, but I do question the rush to get booted off the air, except when the presenter is an abuser and a sexual abuser at that. I do not sanction the whipping and branding part of punishment, but that also may be due to my age and growing patience and wisdom.

Then again, I am studying criminal justice and we're currently going through the part of the first semester of the changing views of justice and how many changes have been initiated. If justice can learn and become more community and people based, then patience will be rewarded in this life and wisdom will follow.

I have doubts about Maxine Waters and her angry outbursts and verbal and physical violence and her advanced age. She has not mellowed with time and she is still after impeaching Trump. He is not the usual politician of presidential timber we expect of our POTUS, but then neither have other presidents been up to the grade according to the people, history, or time. Trump is a loose cannon, but remember he is first and foremost a businessman, a successful businessman of a wealthy family. He is like a used car salesman much like Danny Devito as the father in Matilda. I don't think there is sufficient time for Trump to grow into his role as president and the Democrats will not stand idly by and allow him to grow up and evolve into the president they would prefer, especially those freshmen representatives in the House of Representatives who are well on their way following Bernie Sanders down the socialized Democratic Socialism yellow brick road.

Even Elizabeth Warren seems to have evolved and matured, but I doubt Trump will stop calling her Pocahontas -- or Fauxcahontas. I could be wrong.

I doubt I would be wrong when it comes to Muslims; they have not changed in 1400 years because Muhamed has not allowed his followers to reconsider their position or ask questions when it comes to the Quran or how they must repeat his sutras without change of any kind. Doing so would probably result in death, maybe by having their heads cut off. That's the problem when it comes to people who die and leave instructions not to change what they write, like Muhammed. In Islam, the believer cannot even draw his features, although his image was drawn with a whole lot of latitude -- and error. You cannot question him since he died 1400 years ago. That puts a big crimp in the changes that come with time and wisdom. Too bad his followers keep his words and his beliefs unchanged; it is written and that's how it is.

Oprah has grown wisdom now that she has moved beyond the TV screen and the sponsors' long reach. She may even change her politics. Anything is possible as long as she is alive, breathing, and thinking. I would hope she is one of the democrats that will leave the Democrats'  politics and grow in wisdom and patience.

Her final word on the last page of the magazine showed her evolving view -- from space back to Earth where everything seems smaller and the perspective is evolving. Even Oprah from her lofty position as an icon has and is evolving. I hope her maturity and evolution will continue.

I can and do hope. I still like Oprah, but I have questioned her view of the world around her. When it comes to authors she showcases the male authors and gives short shrift to the women who have also been writers -- really good writers. Women have been and still are stellar class writers. Men have been at the top of the heap so maybe women will find their own level -- at the top -- and the wisdom of maturity will trickle down to rain on them as well. Women are good writers and they all do not end up as romance writers, many of them are good enough to walk with the classics -- be they men like Dickens. Women deserve to be lauded and soon.

Maybe writers like me will end up in the aristocratic class with the centuries of women that have been passed over. Many women have been slighted for millennia and I hope now that women are moving toward equal rights world wide and equal pay and the effect will be a tsunami of change that will sweep over humanity and everyone will get their due even though their due is long overdue.

Men have had it good for too long and it is time for the pendulum to swing back and reward women, too. Time comes to us all.

I doubt Einstein will give the Nobel awards committee their prize or their money back. He earned his Nobel prize because his wife did the work and led the way for him. Marie Curie paved the way for her husband and died from radium poisoning, another fatality in the service of men. Science and business are littered with the bodies of enterprising entrepreneurs that were women. It is time to reassess things and realize that women -- like children -- are not going to stand idly by and be seen and not heard. We are here and we are coming into our own -- but not with liars and women like Elizabeth Warren who took advantage of the system to boost their future by lying to get to the top. For that reason, and because she is a Democrat, I do not think she should be president -- if she runs and wins the nomination. She has too much bad history to bury, but then again I may feel different if she has been hiding her light under a steel bushel.

I doubt it.

That is all. Disperse.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

And so it Goes

Maybe I should have gone to medical school when I was younger, especially since I obeyed my Mom's threats and didn't go to the Air Force Academy or join the military since I did not want to be disowned. I am a female and, according to Mom, women who go into the military are tramps, whores, women of low moral character. I didn't want to be disowned. I carefully maintained my ties to the family.

I have since been disowned by my family on my most recent birthday. As I turned 64, I was notified that I was out of the family, receiving the news from Beanie by text message.

I realize being disowned by my siblings is not the same as being disowned by my Mom. It is a whole other ball of wax.

Or is it?

It's a matter of respect and degree. I respected my Mom -- until I didn't. She was not a good person. She was vindictive, petty, and she held grudges forever. Maybe that is why I acquiesced to Mom's demands when she threatened to disown me. Maybe that is why she got her wish -- me not going to the Air Force Academy -- or any other military branch office to sign up. Had I done so, she would have had bragging rights about her daughter (me) forever.

But I didn't, and now I'm too old to join the Air Force Academy and too old to join any other branch of military service, although that would be a mistake on the military's behalf since I will still be living about 86 years from now.

I plan to be alive until I'm 150 long after my siblings will be dead.  BB has high blood pressure and is also diabetic. The Mushroom/Idiot has likely high blood pressure and heart disease.  Beanie has arthritis and will likely have another knee replacement when she gets done.

All of these diseases could be cured (or at least dealt with) had they listened to me, but they don't and haven't. I am the oddball out in left field when it comes to letting them know what to do when it comes to their health -- I am to be dismissed, crazy, nutso, whatever ... not sufficiently grief-stricken with Jessie's death as my brother decided I should be when I found out last year. But how does he know the depth or reality of my grief? As far as I know, no one knows the depth or reality of my grief because they never asked me and I never volunteered my feelings because I didn't have any feelings toward Jessie since I didn't know her at all. It would be like asking my grief for someone I'd never met and never spent time with. Somebody on the other side of the world may have had a full life and a lot of family, but when they died and I was told would express grief and offer condolences for their passing, but that would be it. The same is true of Jessie. I didn't know her and had never met her. the same cannot be said of the Mushroom, BB, or Beanie since they had all met her, talked to her, spent time with her, and traveled to the UK to meet her.

I doubt they had slept with her, although the Mushroom did because he spent a whole month getting to know her and sleep with her since they were going to live together and get married (so I was told several times by the Mushroom -- but he told me he was getting married to her for ten years. She told me she was never going to move to the USA or marry my brother when she contacted me by email.).  Then again, according to my family, I'm a liar -- or so Mom said and told everyone for years. She wanted to make certain that no one believed me. That is how she protected herself before I was able to tell anyone she had been abusing me my whole life. It is best to have the audience prejudiced before someone can talk about you and cast you in an altogether bad light. Hollywood has press agents and managers to do that for people who want to hide who they are or what they've done. That has been ongoing forever.

It isn't because Mom called me a liar and a fantasist or told people I was a liar or a fantasist. I know that because I know I didn't lie, never did. It is the fact that I tell the truth and have always told the truth, or when I make a mistake I note that on my posts. I made that mistake about Jessie's death a year ago December 2018. I was told she died on December 26. BB informed me that it was the 27th and so I made an edit and noted the date I had been told by Beanie AND the date BB told me.

It isn't that I tell the truth because Mom died six years ago; she is not here to call me a liar or make me admit my lies.

The fact is that my siblings do not want me to write about the truth and it is because I tell the truth, though BB says it is because of my mouth. I do not tell my lies to others. I don't gossip. That was Dad's faux pas. He loved to gossip and he gossiped all the time. It was his character. He was an inveterate gossip monger. I know because he gossiped all the time . . . usually to get himself out of trouble when he was in trouble with Mom.

You see, that's the case with Dad and Mom. They had their faults and flaws. Mom lied and Dad gossiped. Mom also sought refuge in her credit cards, cards she got all the time and kept from Dad and being delivered to the house so she could use them more easily every time she took her lunch across the street from Lazarus when she worked downtown.

The fact is that she didn't EAT lunch, she took her lunch hour at Lazarus -- across the street from her office. She also took her breaks at Lazarus. She was often at Lazarus. As long as she could spend money and time at Lazarus, she was modestly happy -- or at least that is what I thought. She was seldom happy -- unless she was spending money.

People used to say that Virginia was generous and had bought things for her friends and other people. What they didn't say is that Mom could be generous -- as BB could be generous -- but she never let you forget it. She reminded you of it every chance she got. It's rather like her compliments. Every time she complimented me, patted me on the back, she slapped me in the face. Pat on the back and slap in the face right afterwards.

Mom was predictable. BB is also predictable. She follows Mom in everything she did. Mom got religion in her middle years. BB got religion in her middle years. She even chased a man she met at church. Mom went to church every Sunday and every Wednesday. BB goes to church on Sundays and to church on Wednesday nights. What Mom did, BB does. She is Mom's shadow, following after Mom, walking in her footsteps, doing what Mom did, and she continues to follow in Mom's tracks like a shadow.

Well, BB is Mom's firstborn, though I was born first and BB followed me.

That's the point -- BB followed me, followed in my footsteps, though she did not get the same grades I did nor did she win the awards I did. After all, BB is the shadow and I cast the shadow. It's nothing but life -- and physics. I do not make the rules. I follow the rules; I'm a human not the Universal Creator. Go figure.

I do not claim any more than I was given at birth. I was born. I breathed. I continue to breathe. No problem. I claim no more than what I've just written.

I am an atheist, but I believe in the Creator of All, what I call the Universal Creator. I don't believe in anyone or anything else because I am an atheist. That's what it means to be an atheist. I do not believe in gods, at least not the manmade version of gods. I have an ego, but not THAT much of an ego. I'm not quite that vain or that deluded.

I have been told I'm deluded, but not THAT deluded.

I have a normal ego, a normal id, and a normal superego. Those are the parts of my brain and my biology that came with the package that included breathing. So, I'm normal -- at least as far normal as I am allowed to be, but that can change whenever my body stops breathing and my heart stops beating. I'll be dead and it won't matter anyway.

And so it goes.

That is all. Disperse.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Review: The Magnesium Solution

I received this book through UPS yesterday and read through it last night.

I was concerned about a resident here who was told she had to lose weight and take diuretics or go to the hospital. I bought this book to let her know about the options for treatment, options I myself had refused, and suggested another method for treatment instead of the course her doctor put her on. Now, I choose to publish this review here and on Amazon and let people know there is much more to their physicians' treatment and options that lie before them.

Once again I take to the Internet to publish this review and sound the call that we are all willing to take treatment into our own hands. I stand up and speak out, give them a voice in their own treatment. I am their advocate -- and yours -- and will continue to speak out from what I learn and what I know.

Dr. Jay Cohen, the author of this small book, deserves to be heard. You can buy his book on Amazon or anywhere his book is sold. This, too, is in your hands and you have control. I am only a guide along the path of life showing you the way.

This book, small though it in size, was published through the auspices of SquareOne Health Guide and is available to you wherever books are sold, like Amazon. Purchase it for yourself or check it out at your public library.

Dr. Cohen's biography is listed in the back of this book and he can be found on Amazon or throughout the Internet and his credentials are quite impressive. He, like Dr. William Davis, who wrote the "Wheat Belly" books are both available to you through Amazon and other venues. Search it out, read the book, and spread the word. This review will remain for you to read, copy, and share on Facebook, Twitter, Amazon, and Good Reads, or wherever you believe it will do the most good for you and for others.

Dr. Cohen's experience and expertise are listed in his book and you will be able to disseminate the word wherever you choose. I will do the same. I am after all in college now in order to take up the mantle of being your advocate, your voice, and continuing my work on your behalf though I was forcibly retired by my supervisors. College is my first step and I will continue to be your advocate, though I will not continue as a medical transcriptionist since my job has been ended and my contract canceled.

Dr. Cohen's book is small but full of information that we, the people, have been unaware of until now. I applaud Dr. Cohen's desire to get the news out where we, the people, can purchase his book and avail ourselves of its good news.

Good news The Magnesium Solution for High Blood Pressure is indeed and I place it here for all to see, marvel, and read for themselves.

I have heard about the deficiency of magnesium and the use of magnesium to treat hypertension (high blood pressure) since I was in the hospital after my trek from Colorado to Ohio on a bus. My family has decided against supporting me, but I am not daunted as I was when my mother threatened to disown me over 40 years ago when I decided against pursuing a career in the Air Force or the military because she said, "Only whores and tramps go into the military." I was afraid of being disowned and I am no longer afraid of being disowned. My siblings have disowned me because of what I write or, as BB says, because of my mouth. I did not die when Beanie left me a message on my phone and told me not to contact her. The ever again was implied but I am not afraid and will continue to speak out and stand before the world to speak for others.

I will also take to Twitter and spread the word as well. I will not stop until I am elected once my college career has launched me on my third career in politics. Until then, I will continue to speak out in print and spread the word as an advocate for you and for the voters of the state of Ohio where I currently live. You may vote for me or contribute to my coming campaign as you choose. This is just one stop I will make as I proceed forward with my continuing education and publication.

When I was in rehab, I was told I was hypertensive and the drugs they gave me had horrible side effects. I refused to take the drugs and refused to subject myself to further drugs, deciding to treat myself with natural means. To treat the constipation and the even greater hypertension, I refused treatment. I chose instead to drink prune or apple juice three times daily and thus the bloody constipation ended. The magnesium came later as I published in my post yesterday detailing BB's high blood pressure and the Mushroom and Beanie's migraine headaches. I have since continued to help a fellow resident (in fact several residents) treat her hypertension, weight gain, and diabetes with the information in this book and the words I have printed out and given to them.

Dr. Cohen, like Dr. William Davis of the Wheat Belly series, has done his research and published his work in this book. I strongly suggest you buy the book, borrow it, or get it at Amazon for your Kindle reader. Read it for yourself. You will thank me and you may also share the book however you choose. The book, short as it is, is as necessary for you to read and use as you will. I have bought and sent to friends and relatives "The Wheat Belly" books and will continue to do so as I have. I do not have a job and cannot afford to buy you all this book because my income, such as it is, is meager. I merely point the way, and hope you will buy or borrow the book for yourselves. You will not be sorry.

Aside from the story of how Dr. Cohen came to write this book and why, you will be grateful to him, as I am, and spread the news. Dr. Cohen's background and mission is clear -- to acquaint you with the facts about magnesium and why you need it. Theraworx, as I outlined in yesterday's post, is a quick and efficacious way to get magnesium into your body without the bother of taking pills and having to deal with the usual method of getting magnesium into your body where it will have to deal with assimilation and bio-availability. Theraworx eliminates the usual method of swallowing a pill and is as efficacious as Dr. Drew Pinsky outlines in his television commercials. His foam is absorbed quickly into the skin (transdermal) and is incorporated into the body through the skin. What better way for your body to get the magnesium necessary to your health? You can still buy and swallow the pills and deal with the usual side effects of choosing which version of magnesium will work for you, but I am certain that applying the Theraworx foam is the quickest, safest, and best way to get magnesium into your body. Sally, my friend here at Messiah Community also soaks her feet in Epsom salts, which also contains magnesium, and gets magnesium through the use of Theraworx and the Epsom salts and her magnesium levels are increasing. She will not go to the hospital to continue treatment since she has found this way of supplementing her magnesium.

Though Dr. Cohen did not suggest Theraworx or Epsom salts, he would applaud the use of Theraworx and Epsom salts as I suggested to get the necessary magnesium into the body. Sally will eventually have to transition to taking magnesium supplements (or not) in order to continue her treatment. Whatever works -- for her and for you. The point is that she is getting sufficient magnesium to satisfy her physician's treatment and that is enough -- for now.

I give Dr. Jay Cohen four stars for his book, "The Magnesium Solution", and encourage you all to treat your hypertension (migraines, etc.) by increasing your magnesium levels. Doing so will extend your life, stave off strokes and damage to your body and organs, and see you well on your way to health and a long life.

That is all. Disperse.