Sunday, October 09, 2005

Cold morning

It's cold this morning after a warm Indian summer day yesterday. The wind is shouting through the trees and shaking the tenuously clinging yellow leaves to the ground, along with branches that do not have a tight enough grip on the parent tree. The sky is frosty white and the mountains a hazy shadow in the distance. There is a winter storm advisory for today with the threat of snow, broken branches and power outages like an inconstant lover shaking an angered fist in a once beloved's face before walking out and raining freezing destruction. This morning, I know how that feels.

With the annular solar eclipse just passed on the 3rd and a lunar eclipse to come on the 17th I wonder if the ancients are not right in believing them to be dire warnings of harm and sadness to come. Should we be ever on the watch for danger and ill wishing from all quarters or should we trust in the seeming benevolence of the world around us? Trusting, like expectations, lead to sadness and pain, and the optimists among us assure us there is indeed a horse beneath the mountain of manure. Is it better to have no expectations and be always surprised when someone does something nice or should we venture onto that shaky fraying rope bridge while someone saws at the anchor ropes positive we can cross the bottomless chasm before the bridge falls when even a chance misstep will mean death and destruction?

Sometimes I remember the silence and solitude of the cabin with fondness when the phone didn't ring off the hook and people didn't stop by. My life was quiet and predictable like a calm lake glowing gold and pink in the rising sun. Life now is fraught with lurking shadows, venomous blowguns at the ready, as I move out of the safety of my windowed aerie to spend time with friends, new and old, ready to hold out my hand to greet strangers and get to know them. Now I wonder if it is worth the effort to reach out when there are those who have already decided my nature before I open my mouth.

C'est la vie.

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