Friday, November 04, 2005


The word sabotage comes from a time when workers were unhappy with the newfangled machines and threw the wooden shoes they were making -- or sabots -- into the machinery, thus stopping production and making their shoes -- if not their voices -- heard. We call it terrorism nowadays, but sabotage it still is to me -- especially when it comes in the form of friends who are determined to break me down and dangle carrots in my face when I'm doing my best to stick to my plans.

In all honesty, the carrots were really cornbread, dumplings, cakes and pies and the constant reminder by the landlady and B & B that November and December are bad months to begin a 30-day colon cleanse diet that excludes all grains, dairy, flours, etc. They could be right, but November 1st I began the diet and I plan to stick with it no matter what they say. I do know they will all make it very difficult for me and will do all in their power to bend me to their evil wills, but I won't cave in -- even though I will have six days to go on the cleanse. No pain, no gain -- and no pumpkin pie, sweet potato pecan pie with brandied cream (my specialty), rice, dumplings, dressing, gravy... I think I'll shut up now. I am making myself hungry and I just finished my fruit and eggs.

My peace will also be sabotaged on the 18th when a friend from Cleveland flies in to stay the weekend. Since I have a minimum of furnishings right now (bed, desk, office chair, and love seat), the sleeping arrangements will be interesting, but it won't be the first time I've slept on the love seat. And there is always the feather bed in the closet where I slept for the first two months I lived here. I could drag it out and sleep there. Either way, I'm going to be uncomfortable for a while no matter what I do.

Honestly, the whole situation is strange, come to that. I've known Mark for about 5+ years and he almost came to visit in 2003 when I moved to Arvada, but my landlady then was against the idea of me having a guest in my apartment over the weekend. She decided it was inappropriate for a single man and a single woman to share the same space at the same time. What's really interesting about this visit is that even though I've known him for 5+ years, this will be the first time we have met face to face. We've spent hours talking and laughing and swapping information, but never met. I have of course given him the ground rules, but anything is possible.

The guys up at MARC (Mountain Amateur Radio Club) will most likely join in sabotaging my month long colon cleanse diet and have already promised cold gravy and biscuits you can use to patch truck tires, both of which are not on my dietary list. Actually, the only things allowed on this diet are fruits, vegetables, eggs and lean meats. Fats are okay, but grains, dairy, etc. are not allowed. To show how serious I am about this, I even checked out whether or not corn was a vegetable or a grain. I know it's a grain, but where I come from in the corn belt (hold the jokes about my last name) corn is a vegetable and a summer staple on the cob and a year round staple off the cob. To my great sadness, corn is a grain and therefore out of my diet for the next 26 days. No more fresh and hot Parmesan-hot sauce laced popcorn or steaming buttered corn on the cob (if I could still find some).

Okay, so it was a questionable idea to do this the month of Thanksgiving, but I didn't think of that. All I thought of was a nice, clean, well moving colon and eating all the fruit I want for a change, including the dried type. I will have to leave the room when we all get together for Thanksgiving, especially when everyone takes a piece of my sweet potato pecan pie with brandied cream. I don't want them to see me sob uncontrollably. It's just not a good idea when everyone else is celebrating.

Then again, if I didn't start now and get it over with, when would I be able to start? Not December with all the candy canes, chocolates, and holiday parties and dinners. Certainly not in January when everyone else is making the resolutions they will break two weeks later and will do their best to trip me up to join them in failure. Best time is now, just to get it over with once and for all.
The lady who came up to the cabin a year ago August with her three girls emailed me a couple days ago wanting to catch up and say hello -- and ask when she could bring the girls for a visit again. I don't have a big enough place, for one thing, and for another, I don't have much furniture. I'm still debating about answering. I'm not sure I want another visit from them. Nice to know she remembered me, but not for this.

I'll shut up now.

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