Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sweat and lubricants

Chili Bob called yesterday morning (he hates emails, says the phone is faster) and somehow we got onto the subject of lubricants. It's a subject that pops up on occasion and after all these years it still pops up. There are no taboos with Chili Bob and I'm glad we can talk about everything -- and have -- even when the subject is lubricants. Even Beanie mentioned lubricants the other day when we talked. Lo and behold, Beanie and Chili Bob were talking about the same one. Funny how different people from different sides of my life sometimes end up on the same page. If I believed in coincidence, this would be one coincidence too many.

Is there something about summer heat and longer days that stirs everyone's libido to a furious boil so that all they can think about is lubricants -- and sex? Or is something else going on here? Animals don't behave this way when the females are in season. They wait for cooler and shorter days to begin their taking their shot in the biological lottery. People don't have that excuse since we are pretty much in season all the time, so what is happening out there? Don't people realize that summer love is sweaty and sticky and should be reserved for cooler days when you're saving on the heating bill? That's the time to be in heat.

But then I remember summer romances when I was younger and my sweat glands not so well developed, days when I spent hours grilling in the sun dressed in oil and not much else, days dancing to whatever was on the jukebox during rest periods at the local swimming pool and the rest of the time in the water shrieking with laughter while pretending to be surprised when boys surfaced near us in the pool ready to drag us to the depths and steal a kiss or offer to walk us home and carry the towels. Maybe it's not so surprising after all that heat generates even more heat -- of the biological variety -- and lubricants are on people's minds.

Chili Bob also told me an old friend of his popped in to say hello and ask if he was interested in another go-round. I've warned him about that particular merry-go-round before, but he never listens. There are some relationships that should just fade into the background of imperfect memory; that is one of them. I have a few of those myself and one that keeps popping up when I least expect him, which is probably when I should expect him. He does have a pattern and it's never a good one. As far as I am concerned, that one should fall into the Alzheimer's abyss, along with some of the Xmas gifts my mother and mother-in-law gave me that weren't worth regifting and not even Goodwill would take.

There are other friends who pop up from time to time and should stick around longer, but they are always off on a new adventure or completely engrossed in some new ecological refit and don't have the time for more than the odd and very short conversation. Those are the ones I miss, but then I wander off from time to time, following the muse or on a bug hut of epic proportions and far reaching consequences, so I shouldn't complain. Must be the heat and the itching and the feeling that I'm melting into a steaming puddle of sweat that makes me so testy.

Oh, now I get it. That's why Chili Bob and Beanie mentioned lubricants. It was a hint to relax and smooth out the rough edges with a little something slick and slippery. I should have known. Time to get out the oil and a towel and find a pool. It's summer time.

That is all. Disperse.

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