Friday, January 02, 2009

Wallowing in pork

No, not the bacon or ham kind that is served each morning or during holidays, but political pork.

In books, when an author shovels on what he considers atmosphere it's usually in the form of adjectives and adverbs, most of which are there to disguise the fact that there's no story. There's nothing like painting a literary picture with so many words the picture gets lost. It's sort of like allowing a child or a demented adult to throw buckets of paint and mud on Heironymous Bosch's intricate peopled canvases. The picture is lost. Adverbs and adjectives in moderation are fine but anything else is parody and literary insanity. It's no wonder so many people refuse to read books. They fear the consequences. Unfortunately, Americans have become so complacent they look the other way when Congress goes on a pork diet.

It's too bad there's no real pork in all that pork because we could rid ourselves of the most pernicious and self-serving part of our population. Nothing like getting rid of the worst elements in government.

What purpose does pork serve? In the original automakers' bailout, the bill was 3-4 pages long. By the time everybody added their post Xmas wishes, the bill was over 700 pages long. Didn't anyone notice? Where does Congress think that money is coming from? Not out of their pockets, I can assure you, but out of your pockets and mine. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of paying for the lavish lifestyles of the rich and infamous. I don't remember anything on the Schoolhouse Rock episode of how a bill becomes a bill that included anything about entitlements and it was so simple to understand.

A need is seen, like bailing out the automotive industry because they've fallen on hard times, fueled in part by the United Auto Workers' greed-fueled blackmailing of their employers and by the automakers' stupidity in continuing to turn out gas guzzling SUVs when they should have been turning out plug-in hybrids, electric and flex-fuel vehicles that would help us rid us of our polluting and ruinous addiction to oil. A committee puts together a proposal that is accepted -- or rejected -- by the congressmen and senators duly elected by the American people. When everyone adds their stamp of approval, the proposal becomes a bill. What really happens is the self-serving members of Congress decide that the pie isn't big enough, that they need more money to fund their pet projects, like funding a business that will garner a hefty raise for a spouse or political backer and will eventually put the money in their own pockets. The automakers get your money and mine to keep doing what they've been doing all along -- ruining the economy and the environment -- and Congress gets to feast on USDA grade A pork.

It's like going to a gypsy to have your fortune told. The gypsy, seeing an easy mark, agrees to tell your fortune if you cross her palm with silver. Then the gypsy explains that you are cursed and in order to remove the curse you must cross her palm with even more silver to get rid of the curse, which will inevitably end up being something disgusting and possibly demeaning. After all, the gypsy needs a laugh at your expense while she's removing the contents of your pockets to line her own. The only thing you're cursed with is stupidity and gullibility. In other words, you don't have the sense god gave a goose and will believe anything anyone tells you.

Now, I enjoy a good ham dinner and I like bacon and pork chops and pork roast and pulled pork, but when I eat pork in any form I also add a healthy serving of vegetables and fruit to balance out the meal. I don't enjoy a meal of nothing but pork. I would make a lousy politician. No wonder the Jews and Muslims avoid pork. It'll kill you.

That is all. Disperse.

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