Thursday, February 05, 2009

What's your sin?

One of the questions to help break through writer's block today was: Which of the seven deadly sins—sloth, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and pride—are you most likely to commit? It didn't take me long to answer this one, but it took a bit of thought and a few words.

Lust, although I don't think of a healthy and active sex drive (mine is very healthy)as lust, unless you count vivid sexual dreams about the man in my life or finding him hard to resist when I see him. I haven't wallowed in a day of unbridled and unabated sex for a good long while. Who has the time? I guess that means I don't really cross into the lust territory, except maybe in my dreams.

Okay, the pile of laundry on the floor here in the bedroom could be considered slothful, but that's only because it's time to do the laundry, so sloth isn't one of the sins I commit. I just don't have a laundry hamper. My mother is still holding it hostage and I can't afford to replace it, not when there is good to buy and utilities and rent to pay. That would be wasteful.

Greed is definitely not one of my vices. Anyone who visits here would see that. I own one pair of 800-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets for my queen size bed. They're luxuriously soft and when I wash them I put them back on the bed, so no greed there. I'm not greedy when it comes to food or books or clothes or anything. I have a half loaf of bread I baked last week that will be turned into bread crumbs in the food processor and it's not even top of the line. No, greed is not one of my vices.

Although I can be a glutton for punishment, as evidenced by my continued "discussions" with Mom, I'm not a glutton, especially when I'm in the zone and writing and forget to eat for hours on end. I do not then gobble everything in sight to make up the deficit. Further proof is how I treat the luscious and wonderful cheesecakes I bake once in a while. I do not eat the whole thing (I'd be dead by now if that was the case) and I do share with friends and neighbors. I enjoy sharing food I've made. Nope, not gluttony.

Now I do on occasion get angry, but it's not a constant thing and I don't pull people out of their cars at stop lights and beat them to a bloody pulp. People who irritate me or hurt me usually get treated one of two ways. I either explode (if the trespass is sufficiently blatant), which takes a few minutes, then I calm down and deal rationally with the trespasser, or I brush them off and ignore them. When pests don't go away and keep stalking me or nudging me, I keep ignoring them or tell them I'm done. They eventually get the message.

Envy isn't a big sin for me either. I have micro-momentary wishes for something someone I know has, but my attention span for envy is pretty short. Ooh, I wish I had that book or sweater or whatever. Did you see this article on feminism in science fiction literature? See what I mean? Short attention span. While I would like to be successful or visit other places or eat once at a fancy restaurant, the idea of envying someone else's success is not my cup of tea. I would like to do as well, or better, but I don't want what everyone else has. It wouldn't give me time to go out and get what I really would like to have -- like the KitchenAid stand mixer with all the attachments.

I am proud of my accomplishments, of my friends and family and of my country most of the time, but I don't think that's a sin. I'm not too proud to let the dishwasher do my dishes or to take out the garbage by myself. I'm not too proud to make my own beds, do my own laundry or cook my own meals. I'm not too proud (most of the time) to let someone help me when I need it or so proud I believe that the first draft of anything I write is perfect. And I am definitely not to proud to pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Been there. Done that. No, pride isn't one of my vices either, at least not as I understand it.

In the context of deadly sins, I really don't have any problems. I've brushed briefly past them, especially when there are pecans, walnuts and other kinds of nuts in the house (gluttony) and entertained thoughts of tracking someone down, ripping off their clothes and having my wicked way with them (lust), but I can't say I'm a hard core sinner of the seven deadly variety. I'm more the stick my nose in a book, work hard (although reluctantly since I am not paid enough to do what I love -- yet) and write for hours on end. Real hard core sin takes work and dedication and my calendar is already full.

That is all. Disperse.

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