Monday, May 18, 2009

Picking and choosing

I didn't get much writing done last weekend, but reading is a different story. I finished all the books I needed to review and now have to finish writing the reviews, but it's hard to get anything done when you're not home, and I don't read in the car because it makes me nauseous. I begged off early yesterday and missed a bunch of calls. The family drama could wait until this morning and the other calls I returned when possible. Nothing strains a relationship more than calling at bedtime the night before a work day. Sounded like Lynn has a cold or the flu and I'll bet she went to be early since this is her last week before the summer break.

One good thing was that instead of hovering over the sourdough starter for the semolina bread I wanted to bake yesterday, being out of the house gave it time to get good and sour. Ten minutes of kneading and another five minutes of chafing left my arms a little wobbly, but I'm out of practice. What I ended up with was two lovely flat round loaves of bread with a crunchy exterior and a soft interior that will be great for bruschetta. I had a couple pieces with the mushroom and barley soup I made yesterday with the last of the mushrooms. It was a lovely and light dinner and I have quite a bit of soup left over to freeze. I'll definitely make those two recipes again.

I've been in a domestic mood lately, nesting a bit, working out how to get all the books from under the coffee table and up onto the high shelf in the living room. I'm going to have to move the furniture around, but that's a good thing because I can't stand to leave things in the same place forever. I like shaking up the ant farm from time to time. I usually don't move furniture and nest until I feel really comfortable with my surroundings and I'm getting there. Even though there's no air conditioning and baking tends to heat things up a bit and the roof over my office still needs to be repaired, I'm contented. No place is perfect, not even the cabin of my dreams, and I've been missing the cabin a bit these days. Must be all the properties Don has dragged me around to see. I don't know if I can handle two weeks of looking at properties. Thank goodness for work and deadlines or he'd probably drag me out again today and every day he's here. I'm really tired of looking. I'd approach the whole thing much differently.

Five years ago I came down to Colorado Springs with a friend, Brenda, and we met at a realtor's office to look at properties. We checked some listings and chose the ones that seemed possible and then drove around with the realtor to look at four or five places. I liked the last one. It was perfect for Brenda's massage business with separate work and living areas and a big yard out back filled with flowers and a sense of peace. There was a dog run on the side for Keekee and out front the deck was built around a towering tree surrounded by a bench. Even the garage was nice. The great thing was not having to spend days and days driving all over the country, up mountain and down dale, looking at properties. I keep telling Don he has to please himself not me.

Mom thinks I'm playing hard to get, but that's not it. I'm not playing. When you find the one person that drives you to distraction and makes every moment together worthwhile, it's not easy accepting a substitute. I've explained that to Don, but he is determined to change my mind. It's a waste of time. I've been here before with other less persistent suitors over the past three three years. Don says he's willing to wait and I keep telling him there's nothing to wait for. I've made up my mind. It's not fair to make do with someone when your heart and thoughts are on someone else. Unfortunately, my someone else has been so bogged down with work that he hasn't had time to visit as often as I'd like, but that won't always be the case. There's only one person for me. I won't settle for anyone else. Now, if I can only get Don to understand that.

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