Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Telemarketers, zombies and spiders

What's the deal with retailers and vendors these days? Everyone emails and calls for reviews and ratings. Here's a hint, folks, if I buy from you again or buy the same thing again, I liked it. If I didn't return it and didn't call to complain to you, I liked it. I do enough writing every day that I shouldn't have to be hounded at home when I'm relaxing with demands for ratings. Keep it up and I'll give you a rating you won't like.

It's like telemarketers calling at the most inopportune moments. Once upon a time I couldn't listen to the phone ring and ring and ring. I can now. Telemarketers have taught me how to live with the ringing. I also turn the ringer off on occasion when I really don't want to be bothered. Yes, I have Caller ID, but I don't always use it. When I'm too busy to answer the phone I let it ring and the voice mail pick up. If you want to get hold of me, leave me a message. I so can't wait for vacation. I need to get away from here.

Yes, I'm cranky this morning. You would be as well if every time you fell asleep and got into a really good dream it ended up with zombies trying to eat you and some wacko woman determined to get her philandering husband by infiltrating his organization and infecting them with arachnid-based parasites that bond to the host when wearing a silver jumpsuit. The things I saw. Luckily, I was in the bathroom when everyone was listening to the motivational speeches and putting on their silver jumpsuits. I snuck outside only to be tracked by some massive automated turn screw that I thought was sighting in on me and wasn't. I tiptoed over the huge tubes sending some kind of gas into the building and headed to my car to wake up. After the second dream, I decided it was time to get up and stay up. The bathroom was my cue to wake up and empty the reservoir. I so need a vacation.

The thing is that I've been in some of these places before back when things were nice and it was fun to go see a show in Vegas or go shopping for beds, but something twisted them way out of shape and into nightmares. Couldn't be something I drank since I only drank water before I went to bed . . . unless the city is now putting hallucinogens in the water. Great! Just great!

I hadn't planned to write anything so cranky, but there you have it. Lack of sleep and invading nightmares will do it every time, turn my usually pleasant dreams into the stuff of Tales from the Darkside. Yeah. I'd go back to bed if I didn't think the zombies and arachnid parasites would follow me. They probably would. It's going to be that kind of day.

That is all. Disperse.

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