Thursday, April 12, 2007

Plague of dreams

It's snowing outside. I didn't think the ground was cold enough for the snow to accumulate, but I was wrong. It's building up fast and that means putting on some warm clothes and venturing out into the coming blizzard to stock up on food and run a few errands before I shut the door and huddle in front of the space heater, which right now is not doing very good at heating the apartment. Cold seeps through infinitesimally small cracks, making me wonder how many of my clothes I can put on at once before I can no longer move my arms, hands or legs and still be warm.

I worked until about 6:30 this morning and dropped into bed like a stone. I didn't think I'd dream. I was wrong again. And what a dream it was. It's probably why I've avoided going to bed at night, since every time I do, now that I've caught up on my rest, my dreams are highly erotic. The cast is always the same but the action is different nearly every time. It's as if someone has hacked into my dreams and wants to drive me crazy with desire . . . as if I needed help in that department. And it's not just when I'm sleeping either. Sometimes when I'm waiting for work to download or upload I get a flash of images and sensations and feelings that make it very difficult to keep my mind on work. It's probably a good thing this house is full of women or I'd be knocking on someone's door. Even if there were men in the house, it wouldn't help because they're not in the dreams. If I see him I'm not sure I can control the urges that are building to Mount St. Helen's pre-eruption force.

It's a good thing I'm a civilized and controlled individual . . . or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

I am civilized. I can control my desires.

I wonder how many times I have to repeat that before I can safely venture out of this house? Even though I have to go out and bring in supplies to carry me through the storm, I'm not sure it's cold enough yet to cool me down. Even though it's cold here in the apartment, even with the space heater running, I'm sweating. I don't think that's a good sign.

Is it?

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