Sunday, August 03, 2008

Time to end

It just never ends and it is partly my fault. I shouldn't pay attention when people let me know she's trashing me again. I thought she would have found someone else to trash by now, but since she's trying to keep people from finding out how shallow she is and how she lies and manipulates to keep them buying her books and reading her posts I guess I'm all she has, especially since her BFF disappeared after her husband's divorce and no one on LJ knows her. The drama is boring because she never says anything new and most of what she says is completely off base. It wouldn't do to let her know what she says gets to me from her best friends and closest relatives who think she is obsessed and has gone completely over the edge. But it's my fault for reading the messages. I should just ignore them since they won't listen when I say I'm not interested.

I stopped reading her blog over three years ago but she emailed to tell me that she continues to read my blog because she says my posts are "the most erudite and interesting" she has ever read. Personally, I think she said that to hide the fact that she's stalking me online, reading all my reviews, articles, stories and posts so she can keep track of my publishing progress and prove she's better than I am, a real writer as opposed to a writer whose stories are included in ten anthologies at last count. After all, I'm not the only name in or on the book, therefore, I am not a real writer.

The news of a literary agency approaching me to represent a series of articles and putting the book based on the articles up for auction is what probably sent her over the edge. I didn't put the news out there because of her. I put it out there to share the news with friends and to let other writers know that success happens when you least expect it. So why does she insist on using the same tired old line about me being deserted by friends, lovers and family when she knows nothing of me or my life? Is it because she has nothing else to use and she can't fault my writing? She has nothing left but empty and repetitious and very old personal attacks. Like I said, she knows nothing about me or my life or who my friends are. I don't mention them by name in my posts. I have other things to write about, most of them dealing with relationships and writing. I have neither the time nor the need to prove I have friends by writing about them and putting their names and personal information out there. If I wrote everything about my friends, I wouldn't have any time left to spend time with them. I have a full time job and a writing career and a life.

I need to go back to my old policy of not reading any emails sharing the contents of her posts because all it does is feed into her obsession. At least then I won't know when she reads one of my posts and decides it's all about her because everything is about her and I can't possibly have a life without her in it. Not everything is about her and she's not so special or important to my life that I can't find anything else to write about. If she sees herself in my posts, it is because she's looking for a reason to create drama. As far as I'm concerned, we are done. I wish her well. I hope her book is a success. I hope her life is happy because then she will have less time and fewer reasons to create more drama. Then maybe her friends and family won't feel the need to warn me she is still obsessing about me. It's time for it to end.

I've been done for a long time. I've kept her secrets so she need not fear me spilling the truth about her and ruining her life. It's time for her to get over it and move on. If she's so happy, she shouldn't need to focus on me. It would be best if she just didn't read anything I wrote. I don't read what she writes. I have far too much going on in my life. I even had to drop editing and writing a newsletter because I needed more time for my life and my work. That was important. Her obsession with me is not.

So, in the interest of making things very clear. She should go her way and let me go mine. I wish her well and hope she has much writing success and whatever she wishes she should keep to herself. It's time for this to end.

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