Tuesday, May 25, 2004


I am feeling decidedly icky today. Must have been all the beans I ate yesterday. Oh, well, it was a choice.

Fell asleep in the chair last night (it IS a comfortable chair) and got up about 3:30 to go to bed. I read for a while, but that is when the rumbling began and the ick set in. I usually don't have problems, but I overdid it a bit with the turkey chili and pinto beans, not to mention the Parmesan popcorn I made. Maybe I should eat more meat and fewer beans, but then again...

First thing this morning, as I usually do, I checked my email, but it wouldn't download into Outlook. I had to read it online and I wasn't happy about that -- too slow and cumbersome. Another tempest is brewing at R&T and our all knowing, all seeing, all piss me off EIC is at the center stirring the pot. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was the embodiment of Scylla AND Charybdis. She just does not want to play nice with the stronger elements on the staff. But in a few days or a couple weeks she will come back with an idea that is the same idea someone else put forth and claim it as hers. Only the parties from whom she has taken said ideas, ideas she has nixed previously, know what she has done.

I was reading about Trolls yesterday, specifically people who stir the trouble pot in any situation, and I saw several of the men I've dated and both ex-husbands, as well as my ex-mother-in-law and the current R&T EIC. Surprise, surprise. NOT. I see now why I could never win with romance. I seem to attract the trolls in life and they use my explanations and good nature against me. When I finally rise up, then I end up being the bitch. Funny how that works. Oh, most everyone has a few of these traits, but a dyed in the greasy hair troll is something altogether. You should check it out whether you're Christian or pagan. Truth is truth no matter who speaks it. Go to WarGoddess.net and take a look. There is a reference to a Christian book and you can use Google -- or whatever search engine you prefer -- to find the book. Really opened my eyes.

In addition to everything else going on, I'm considering quitting the mega editing for Another Chapter. Balancing illustrations and artists and constant editing against everything else I do is becoming a huge chore and one that provides me no real fun and no money to speak of, even after I spend hundreds of hours going over and over and over someone's work and making the same changes over and over and over and having two bosses breathing down my throat. I could use the time to finish editing Whitechapel Hearts and writing Lost in Plain Sight, as well as doing a lot of other writing to boot. I have three columns to write every month, one of which is every two weeks, and other columns on the horizon that actually pay money and provide a huge circulation, but I feel like I should finish what I started with AC. Then again... I just don't know.

In my personal life, my mother was sent home from the hospital yesterday with a clean bill of health, outside of the loss of the use of her left arm. The CAT scan, MRI, carotid dopplers, and echocardiograms were negative. I am surprised. I would have thought some lesion or white matter would have shown up on the CAT scan and MRI of the brain when she has obviously had a stroke, but what do I know? Mom has to go to physical therapy for a while to regain the use of her left hand to offset the possibility of contractures, but she's still just as sassy and opinionated as ever. She's back to normal.

Now, my father is another situation entirely. He's turning into a cantakerous old coot and I told him yesterday when we talked he had used up all his cantankerous points for the rest of the year and had to be nice to people. He just growled and said he liked being a salty old dog. Thing is, I really think he does enjoy being cantankerous. Parents. What can you do with them but laugh?

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