Pizza and porn

Yesterday the EVIL ONE was talking about pizza and not being able to get it from his favorite place because they closed down. The mail had a coupon for Papa John's pizza. The combination was too much for me. I didn't feel like going to the grocery store to buy healthy food, so I caved in and ordered pizza and wings over the net. Couldn't do that back at the cabin. The only place that delivered would deliver to the Snooty Coyote in Tabernash and you had to go get it from there. Sort of screws up the whole idea of delivery.

I saw the pizza guy drive up and went to get my wallet for ID. I couldn't find it. Figures. Meanwhile, someone knocked on the door. As I searched for my wallet I wondered how the driver got upstairs with the downstairs door locked and bolted, but I went to the door. It was the landlady. She saw the pizza guy, too, and opened the door for him. Her eyes sparkled with that look that goes with forbidden food -- YEAH! I signed the receipt, took my order and asked the landlady if she'd like to share my dinner. "I'm making salmon tonight."

"Oh, come on. You can put the salmon in the fridge and have it tomorrow," I coaxed.

She caved.

The salmon -- big, pink and beautiful -- went into the fridge and she offered a nice floral cabernet sauvignon. We shared a couple of wings and then dug into the pizza. She really likes pizza. We drank and talked and enjoyed the evening.

Later, out on the deck as the sun sank in a blaze of fiery colors and the moon rose in a cool blue sky, she told me the house likes my singing while I played fetch the squeaky squirrel with Pastor. It was a beautiful night and flew by too fast.

I took the last piece of pizza and most of the wings upstairs and went to bed.

This morning, after a restful sleep, I got up and fired up the computers, checked for updates and downloaded lots of work. The sun brightened the horizon. The sky is heart breaking blue; there isn't a cloud in the sky. Everything is bright and clear and smells of spring. It's a pleasure to work up here in the sun porch with such beautiful vistas. But I didn't expect a floor show in the crook of the tree outside my window.

My favorite squirrel was lounging in the crotch of the tree and a younger fella came up to lounge on top of him. The look in his beady little eyes said he had mischief on his mind.

And he did.

Up on his furry haunches he aimed his pelvis at the back end of my lounging friend and gave a few peremptory thrusts. His eyes lit up and he grabbed two paws full of plump furred hips and bent to his task. At first my furry buddy continued nibbling on his morning snack and ignored the activity. Then he reared up and turned on lustful Lothario. Clutching, biting, scratching, clawing and lots more thrusting ensued. Right in front of me while I'm working. How crude and ill-timed! They fought and tumbled and took turns climbing onto each other's back, thrusting and penetrating (from the surprised and shocked look in their eyes). Then they scrambled up the tree, my furry buddy close behind with blood in his eyes.

Who would have guessed? Gay squirrels. Either that or the younger fella doesn't realize that any hole is not going to get him the procreation prize.

I know it's spring, but I think they should at least take their pornographic tree-floor show into another tree, especially when I'm working and can't have my own floor show (still no bed). Don't you agree?