We are all Prejudiced

Photo by Stephen Melkithesian

I often think while I'm playing a mindless game and I realized that prejudice isn't about black or white, it is about the face we see in the mirror. We think that people that are different from us is the problem. That's wrong. The problem begins and ends with us. We are the problem. Prejudice and racism begin with the mirror, begins with us.

The face that looks back at us from the mirror makes it okay pretend for others like us to make mistakes as long as they are willing to say it out loud. I think that is why my father's hidden prejudice was so devastating to me because I grew up thinking he was not prejudiced and he was a fair man. After all, he accepted all people as they came and judged them on what they presented to us. That is why I was behind my Uncle Bob's open prejudice. He spoke up and told you to your face he was a racist. But that was not the problem, nor was it a problem that my father was racist. The problem was that he hid in plain sight, that he spoke the words of moderation and equality; he was actually a racist like my grandfather and every other Archie Bunker type racist I realized that I had been prejudiced all along.

I said the words. I espoused equality. I opened my arms and what I thought was my heart when I was as prejudiced as my Uncle Bob who said the words and would admit no black people into his home (like Mom) or into his heart. I realize that I am as closeted as my dad and every other racist person who pretends not to be racist. We are all in the closet and we say the words and we make the motions, but we are not free of the taint of prejudice. We are all racist in our heart of hearts, just like I am racist in my heart of hearts. Racism goes bone deep. Always has and always will be.

We will make allowances for those who are not like us, those who do not realize that racism is as endemic as the color of our blood, tissue, and ... ultimately sin color... because we haven't faced up to the facts.

Maybe racism began as a survival instinct. By that reasoning, that is why Islam and Mohammed have reached so far into the heart of this planet, this world. Islam is as closeted, and hence Mohammed, as a homosexual pretending to be straight. Of course, Mohammed was a twisted dwarf who fashioned his god to look as twisted and deformed as he was. That is a twisted and deformed way of thinking ... and believing.  We are all twisted and deformed when looking out of the eyes of Mohammed as he looks from the mirror of his soul and sees himself (or at least as he sees himself) to be. No wonder Islam forbids the believer to deviate from Mohammed's words as written down in the holy book, the Quran. That is why believers must say the words exactly as he inscribed them without deviation. How else could Islam have crawled from the depths of his deformed and twisted mind in the Middle Ages (1400+ years ago) into the modern world in the 21st century? Mohammed's twisted and deformed thoughts are squirming and deforming out modern minds because Mohammed decreed (as a commandment from the universe's GOD, Allah) it.

In Allah's words of course.

The problem lies with the mirror, the image that we see and that we believe is right above all others -- our own reflected image.

Photo by Stephen Melkithesian

We are not dealing with a rational mind -- especially in the case of Mohammed. We are dealing with the twisted and deformed utterings of an epileptic who had seizures and wrote his twisted and deformed thoughts into the Quran. The Quran is a holy book given to use through the medium of a twisted and deformed dwarf whose mother died when he was six and from out of the covering shadow of his mother's untimely death when he was tossed into the world grieving, twisted, and deformed. He was intelligent enough to figure out that a moon god in the pantheon where he had his brilliant epiphany that a forgotten moon god was the Ruler of the Universe, a GOD for all that he saw and codified in his holy book and thus GOD's utterances as he wrote them down while patterning his religion after the only religion in the world -- Judaism.

When Mohammed didn't get the seal of approval from the GOD OF THE JEWS, he decided to cover his backside by declaring that all believers in the GOD OF THE JEWS (Jews) had to be destroyed, annihilated, wiped out of existence because they had the effrontery to deny HIM (Mohammed) the stamp of approval he should have had because he was Allah's anointed prophet. How dare they? They must die. They could not be allowed to taint his holy visions with their ignorance and refusal to grant him the seal of approval he so desperately wanted -- and needed. How dare they?!

Much like Hans Christian Anderson's tale of the foul mirror that the demons carried up to place in front of God's throne to show him the foul warped mirror image dreamed up by Satan in his noxious dreams before they broke the mirror, the shattered foul mirror Satan devised broke into a billion pieces and warped that lodged in Kay's eyes and heart sending him into the Snow Queen's clutches to while away the endless hours in the freezing cold of her ice palace attempting to place the ice shards into the word eternity. Eternity is what Mohammed has damned the ardent followers of his warped and twisted religion, just like Mohammed damned his followers to fashion out of ice shards the word eternity. 

Eternity is what the Muslims will serve as they follow their prophet, Mohammed, into hell.

I would have followed Mohammed's warped followers into hell as well if I had not realized that racism begins and ends with the mirror -- a normal mirror not warped by the nefarious design of Satan. I am warped by my own imagination and my own closeted beliefs and feelings, not the warped design of my own fashioning. I am a racist.

There. I said it -- or at least wrote it for all to see and realize that I have finally admitted the truth, the truth that was denied by my father's own hidden truth -- he was a racist -- just as I am a racist.

Uncle Bob said it out loud. Dad refused to admit it out loud -- even to his own children -- he was a racist just as I am a racist. I am imperfect. I have always been imperfect and I am still imperfect -- at least to this point where I put it out into the world that I am a racist. 

I realize now that the only reason I tolerated my Uncle Bob's racism (just as I accepted Archie Bunker's racism because it was delivered in the form of comedy) is because Uncle Bob, like me, was white. He looked like the image I saw reflected in the mirror of my soul. That image accepts all things, even the warped and deformed, because he looked like me: he was white.

That is why I accept all things, because they look like me or are white.

That is also why I accepted the warped and deformed utterances of my mother because she was white. 

I fought her tooth and nail even though she was white because she was a racist. I accepted Dad's perfidy because he never said a thing. He said all the right things. He did all the right things. He was kind and generous and accepted all people; he couldn't be a racist.

Well, that is wrong. He was a racist just as I am a racist -- or was until I realized from where I was coming. All things are acceptable as long as the mirror reflects what you see as being just like you. That means the same is true, not only of me, but for all people. The mirror image you see makes everything acceptable.
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If you are black, you will accept all things because you see black in your mirror. That makes all things acceptable as far as you are concerned. Everything else is all right for you because it is black -- or red -- or yellow -- or purple with green polka dots -- because the image you see in the mirror is the same as the one looking back at you.

I apologize to all the wrong-headed people I criticized before I realized that I was a racist, too. I was wrong. I hope I am putting that wrongness right at last.

I was wrong.

I realize that now.

I apologize to all people (red, yellow, black, and white) for seeing you as wrong. I was wrong.

We all are wrong ... just not as wrong as a twisted and deformed dwarf like Mohammed. 

That is why I reject Allah and God and all forms of gods and why I am an atheist. I realize that we are all wrong because we cannot see or comprehend the reality of the universal being at the heart of all things. We can see and imagine a being at the center of all things, but we cannot really comprehend such a being because we are finite beings and, though we have a creative and vast imagination, we are not THE UNIVERSE'S GOD.

We are finite. We are human. We are wrong.

We are OH SO WRONG.

Here's hoping that we will finally realize that fact and not push our warped and deformed religious utterances on others.

I recently saw a documentary on how China deals with Muslims and Mohammed's followers -- they indoctrinate the Muslims and teach them  (brainwash them). I deplore using such methods on people, but hasn't Mohammed been indoctrinating his followers with their five times daily prayers? Where Mohammed succeeded with his CYA methods, warped and wrong-headed as they were and are, they and he has succeeded. He has demonized the Jews. He has brainwashed children and millions of believers in Allah. He has warped and deformed the mentality of the populace for over fourteen hundred years. He has obliterated and annihilated common sense and thinking/evolving for yourselves. He has set the course for Satan in his warped and deformed imagination for all eternity. He has placed the planet on course for destruction.

And he (or at least Allah in Mohammed's diseased imagination) has set our feet on the wide road into HELL for eternity (where we will remain for all time).

We will have no chance to free ourselves from ultimate destruction and will end up in Paradise or hell unless we examine our hearts and turn away from the abyss.

And yet we cannot because Allah declares it so (as Mohammed has writ).

That is all. Disperse.

Equality of Outcome

Growing up, my mother demanded that everything be equal for her children. Everything must cost the same for birthdays and Xmas for all four of us. If she spent $100 on spend the same amount on each of the other three. That was her version of equality. She was adamant on everything being equal for all four of us, but mostly because of me; I'm adopted and the other three were her biological children. None of them would have existed, as far as Mom saw it, if she had not adopted me since she had failed to deliver a living child before I was adopted. That was, as her doctor pointed out, the outcome of adopting when failure to bear and deliver a child is the case. Her doctor promised her that she needed to develop a mother's instinct before she could conceive and bear a living child. I was the way to develop her mother's instinct . . . or at least that is how she convinced my mother, her sister-in-law, to give up the child she carried in her womb when she arrived from Michigan after her divorce on the back of her older brother's motorcycle to live with her other older brother (my dad) and her sister-in-law (Mom who had not been successful in bearing the children she so desperately wanted . . . and needed).

My birth mother didn't renege on her promise even after she became engaged to Dewey because she was a woman of her word. She had promised her child (me) to her brother and his wife and, since she had already given birth twice, could have more children. It should be noted that she gave up her first child, a child conceived when her uncle raped her, to one of her husband's relatives before she conceived me after the divorce and before he obtained a Catholic divorce (annulment) in order to marry his second wife, a woman with whom he had nine children and who never knew about me . . . or so I have been told. I never asked him since I never knew him and was urged to let sleeping dogs lie.

The point is that Mom has decided when the other three children came along that we would all be treated equally, hence the way she gave gifts to us. What she couldn't control was how friends would give us all presents when they came to our birthday parties, but she had a way to fix that too. Oftentimes we (meaning I) got duplicate gifts. Mom decided that duplicate gifts would be given to my siblings while I kept one of the duplicates because it was my birthday gift after all. All of my duplicates went to my sister who was born a year and nine months after I was adopted, leaving me with one gift and my sister with all of the duplicates to be fair to her even though it was not her birthday. Her birthday was in November and I did not get any of her duplicate gifts because it wasn't my birthday. I didn't get any of my brother's duplicate gifts either (he kept them all because he was a boy) nor did I get any of my youngest sister's duplicates, but then neither did my brother or other sister either. They were too mature and would not be treated like the baby.

We all got clothes at the same time, the same number of items for each of us, but seldom (never) the same quality or style. We'd have been equal if we had all gone to the same school and wore uniforms, which would have happened if we had actually become Catholics and gone to Catholic school, but (thankfully) that didn't happen. The same amount of money was spent on birthdays and Xmas until we reached high school for my brother and older sister and me and we began to develop different talents and tastes. Jimmy kept getting Hot Wheels cars and accessories and my sister and I outgrew dolls, moving into clothes for my sister and art supplies for me.

As we grew up and moved into our adult lives, birthdays and Xmas gifts remained the same dollar amount spent for each of us, or at least that is what I was told since I spent many birthdays and Xmases far away from the others. Mom made a point to assure me that I was treated the same as the other three even though I was clear across the country and they all remained close to home. At least Mom and Dad came to visit me in Utah when they drove to California to see Jimmy off on his first long distance Navy cruise or to discuss his wedding plans when he decided to get married to his girlfriend's best friend when his girlfriend turned him down. He was on a deadline and had to follow through and get married on his 23rd birthday even though he wasn't marrying the girl of his choice. He was following in Dad's footsteps no matter what. It didn't matter that Bobbie accepted him after he broke up with Leslie who had refused to marry him as long as Bobbie would marry him on his 23rd birthday. Nothing else mattered. One girl was as good as another. They were equal because they had been best friends, a fact he lived to regret a couple of decades later. I guess the equality tree didn't fall far from the designer of equality of outcome.

Mom's quality of outcome was evident in many facets of our lives. When she fostered several children as we grew up and went our own ways, Mom made sure her foster children got the same number and cost of presents for Jimmy and the boys who were fostered because they were nearly the same age as Jimmy and Tracy, the youngest. Mom broke her own rules when it came to graduation gifts -- sort of. She gave me her high school graduation ring when I graduated high school and bought Carol, Jimmy, and Tracy diamond rings when they graduated. She explained that she attached a lot of sentiment to her graduation ring and only had the one to give me, her first born, and substituted diamonds for the other three because they only cost money and there was no sentimental attachment to diamond rings (hah! which is why she bought so many diamonds for herself over the years). I also didn't get a car when I graduated because I had already bought my own car my junior year in high school, a car I shared with my sister even though my previous car was used for a down payment my sister never had to match with money from her own earnings. I also had to give the car to my sister when I married and graduated high school because my sister would have to drive herself to school and use it to get to her job. My new husband would have to provide me with a car or I'd have to use public transportation to get to work. My problems were for my husband to deal with.

The equality of outcome also included homework. Since I'd already had the classes that Jimmy and Carol were dealing with, I was ordered to do their homework so Jimmy and Carol would pass as well as I had. I refused. I would be glad to help them with their homework, but they would have to do the work for themselves. I was punished for refusing. After all, I couldn't take their exams for them and only they could earn their own grades with knowledge they had learned for themselves. Their grades were far below mine, but, like the parents who bought presents for my birthdays for their children, Mom couldn't force teachers to allow me to take their exams or give my siblings the grades Mom thought they should have to equal my own. The grades they got were their own just as Jimmy having to repeat a year when he was left back the year he flunked. Mom could only control so much and punish me when she lost control or the world and people refused to follow her rules. So much for equality when she couldn't control the outcome.

She could and did control equality of outcome when it came to discipline. Whatever my siblings did wrong, she punished me because I was the oldest and was responsible for what the siblings did -- or failed to do. When Jimmy and Carol were banned from the neighbors' yards, Mom refused to allow me to go into the neighbors' homes or play with their children. The neighbors' children finally allowed Carol and Jimmy to visit so that I would be allowed to visit. The neighbors knew the score and were willing to suffer the mayhem and damage my siblings would wreak so that I wouldn't be punished for their errors.

The neighbors took great pains to run interference whenever feasible, taking the blame or allowing my siblings to get off without punishment just so I wouldn't be punished when Mom spread the discipline around to include me, the oldest and the most responsible for not keeping the others from mischief and error.

I alone took the blame for my mistakes and the other three got no discipline or punishment when I was caught doing wrong -- or when Mom decided I was the one at fault even when I wasn't there. Knowing about a mistake was sufficient cause for the belt or the switch and for the grounding that followed.

When I showed my parents the many scholarships from colleges I received and the offers from three of the USA's military branches, I learned that not a penny would they spend to pay for college for me because Jimmy, six years behind me in school, had to come first because he would eventually get married and have a family to support. I could wait until I got married and go to college and let my husband support me. Jimmy was the most important because he was a male. I could expect nothing unless I earned it myself or married someone who could afford to pay for college. Equality of outcome ended where Jimmy was born as a male. Jimmy would never -- and did never -- go to college with his below C level grades. After Jimmy got out of the Navy, he managed to use his GI bill to pay for technical college to cover a degree on robotics and IT. I raised children and earned my way on my own. My husband couldn't afford college either and I was too old to use the scholarships I had been offered in high school.

The problem with equality of outcome was never just with my mom, but also with the idea that four siblings, one of which was adopted, would ever end up with the same quality of life and opportunity. It might have been better for me if my cousin, Jimmy, had been adopted before I was born, but his mother, my adopted father's other sister, reneged on her promise to give him up to Mom for adoption because she did not like and did not trust her brother's wife's snobby treatment of her or her brother. Since my birth mother was low on the family totem pole (a fact not discovered until I unearthed the fact that my birth mother was the result of an extra marital affair -- oops!), my fate was in someone else's hands and not hers, although she rectified that mistake when I was 16 and she became my confidante and champion. Mom's version of equality didn't sit well with her brother or her parents who treated me with love and care in spite of Mom's unequal treatment of me when compared to her birth children. My grandparents and my uncle did their best to stand up to Mom and treat me as though I were one of their own, a feeling not shared by their offspring who had their own views of equality and outcome that were not far different from Mom's.

When you pin your life and your views on equality of outcome, you should also be mindful of equity in that outcome. We are all born with our own gifts, drives, and abilities. We are not clones and not robots. Our experiences and what we bring to the global table are different, sometimes complementary, but always worthwhile when we pool our resources in a common outcome. Some will push us ahead faster and farther and some will be of no use -- often counterproductive. What we end up with will be determined by who helped and who were little more than hurdles to overcome or ignore.

My sisters and brother and I have arrived at different outcomes in this time and place. That is as it should be. Only when the bottom line is tallied will our input be measured and stored in the mind of the Cosmic Creator. We are the bits and bytes of data are part of the Universal All.

That is all. Disperse.

A Day in the Life

Every day there is something new that drip, drip, drips through the mainstream media blinders that cover the eyes of most people turning to the newspapers and TV set to get their news. This drip, drip, drip is full of poisons, chemicals, and lies, the propaganda of the elite, like Oprah, intent on selling the last ditch attempt by the global elite to destroy at least 95% of the world's population. It should surprise no one that widely recognized icons, like Hillary, Oprah, and Obama, funded by George Soros are dazzling us all with free cars, houses, and gifts while surreptitiously lining us up for the death chamber, smiling and patting us on the shoulder while shuffling us off to the Grim Reaper.

Do you think I believe in their glad handing, smiling faces as they stun is with beautiful rhetoric or promises of the peace and wonder that is the Eternal Hereafter? Puhleeze. I was not born this morning.

The MSM have narcotized humanity with narcotics in our city water while stunning us with endless loops of circular logic and faux science guys like Bill Nye to cudgel our brains with what seems like truth and logic and has no resemblance to either.  The global elite strive to rewrite history by tearing down statues to heroes of our troubled past as though destroying the idols commemorating our mistakes and errors will erase it from our collective minds. While that may work for millennials, Generation X-ers, and children of the 21st century, it will not work against those who have spent their lives watching, studying, researching, and remembering the past so the rest of humanity won't make the same mistakes this time around.

We have failed.

Those few, like you it seems since you're reading this, are not enough to spread the word and speak out about what is being done in the name of progress and liberalism while continuing to dumb down the current population while inflaming the terrorist arm of the global elite as they have done since the armies of darkness descended on this planet in the 7th century beheading and taxing all nonbelievers in the name of the moon. At least the army of terror chose a god we could look up to every night as it spins in its monthly orbit as hollow and false as the civilization that created it to send the survivors of their galactic wars to this green and fertile world where their offspring could renew themselves and spread out across the globe building new cities and tending the crops that would sustain us, and ultimately poison us, as they sought domination over the races they created in their own image and taught to pray to a god they created -- also in their own image. The fallen angels have been destroyed and their culture and history erased to make room for the hatred and horror of war as the marauding mindless hordes sweep all before them and chosen Judas goats lead the tagged races to death while their hatred for civil dialogue, facts, and truth are lost in the rising clamor of gunfire and screams. No single voice of logic and reason will be allowed to remain and their only hope is ascension -- or at least death when they can become once again a part of the universal zeitgeist for their chance to reincarnate in a brighter, better, and more peaceful world where the din from murdering hordes can no longer be heard, seen, or felt. What then the hopeful people that remained?

They will be absorbed by the chaotic body until it's their turn in the death chamber when their turn comes to die for this cleansed world where memories of them will be lost and forgotten until some time in the future when an enterprising group of archaeologists will unearth what remains -- if anything remains to mark their passage -- and their surgeries, drugs, and physical enhancements are little more than social anomalies left to the Ages.

As for me, I will continue fighting, speaking, and praying for the global elite to be rooted out and saved from their masters' destructive plans to ascend with the rest or be buried in a world of their own creation when the solar winds come to free the faithful and sweep away the master that had us all bound in their deftly woven web of lies and deceit.

That is all. Disperse.

I Win, You Lose

Just in case you haven't been paying attention or didn't catch the meaning of the words, everything is rigged so that They win and We lose. It is like the first two or three times you choose heads or tales before the meaning of the words sinks in. No matter which you choose, heads or tales, you can't win. It's like the Kobayashi Maru that only Captain James T. Kirk passed, that no-win situation where the captain faces that reality that no matter what he does he cannot save the passengers of the Kobayashi Maru even if he doesn't cross into the Romulan Neutral Zone because the test is rigged. Winning is not an option. Facing failure and your fears is the point. The same can be said of the Muslim ban, the continued struggle between black and white, and the repercussions of calling out a rapist or sexual predator. They are all no-win situations. They are all our Kobayashi Maru test.

Pick a side, any side, head or tails, but the result remains the same: They win, you lose. That is the point. Ban Muslims, Black Lives Matter, Woman Power, Black Power, White Supremacy, White Privilege, Economic Fairness, Equal Opportunity, No Child Left Behind, The Wage Gap, The Privilege Gap, Hillary or Trump. All the games are rigged. It even goes as far down as organic versus GMOs, processed food versus natural foods. Kobayashi Maru, the no-win situation.

I read an article this morning about how a young black man had "the talk" with his parents about how to behave when stopped by the police. I look white and I had the same talk with my parents. Don't make eye contact, keep your head down and your answers short (yes, sir and no, sir) and no backtalk. The daily no-win situation when dealing with the police is the same no-win situation when dealing with a boss, a co-worker, or a staying in a motel. Don't make eye contact. Keep your head down and your answers short (yes, sir and no, sir) and no backtalk. It is the same talk that crops up between races and genders: head down, no eye contact, short answers, and no backtalk. The point is to escape the situation intact and unharmed -- or at least as unbruised or unbloodied as possible.

We live in a dangerous world and we, humanity, have made this world dangerous. People with money help make the world dangerous. People with power help make the world dangerous. People with knowledge rigging the system make this world dangerous. Those who have make the world dangerous for those who have not. The top ices the slopes or turns the roads to ice and pours cold water down the hill.

One of my sisters, a feisty little girl who fears no one faced her own Kobayashi Maru. She was dating a cop, a man she attended church with, and one night she refused his polite advances. This 6+ foot cop picked her 5-foot 2-inch petite body and took what she refused, drove her home after he was finished and walked her to the door. She kept the incident to herself and didn't tell our parents. I have told no one since she told me over 30 years ago. The same man also had a shoe box full of drivers licenses belonging to women he had pulled over, the same women he stalked for years.

There are good cops and bad cops and all the training in the world won't change that. Cops are people too, struggling with the same demons as everyone else. Some cops are good people and some cops are criminals. The same men and women work in every office in every city in every country around the world. Some are wealthy and some are poor and they use their power to harm as well as heal. They are people like you, like me, like everyone else. My aunt says that all men are dogs and I counter with some women are dogs too. Religion hasn't made a difference nor has sensitivity training or team building at some resort for a weekend or a week. Ethics be damned. Sensitivity be damned. Religion be damned. The only way to change the game is to change the players at the soul level. Sometimes the only way to change is to have a near death experience and to face the Universe where there are no ifs, ands, or buts. You and the Universe face to face (if the universe or the soul have faces) with no place to hide or bargain or loopholes to exploit. When you come back -- if you come back -- you will understand the reality of your place in the grand cosmic scheme of things and you will be changed forever. Eternity and your place in it is the ultimate reality and the ultimate no-win situation. Your choice has been made and you can accept reality or return to the Universe as a data point in the Cosmic Scheme of Things.

Before that happens, look around you at the world and the other beings that share this existence with you and choose . . . kindness, life, and the value of existence. It may be the only chance you will ever have.

That is all. Disperse.