Cassandra speaks

Chili Bob, a very good and dear friend, and I chat about all kinds of things, the kinds of things you're not supposed to chat about: money, sex, religion and politics. Of course, without those subjects, there isn't much else to talk about except the weather and the obituaries. While the weather is interesting for at least two minutes, after that, it's just repetitive and boring.

True to form, we have been discussing Obamessiah and the recent claim from a White House aide that, "I did not bow to that man." However, at the press conference at the White House, the aide was unable to cover his (or Obamessiah's) hindquarters when the reporters pointed out the mistakes in his spin.

Aide: The President was taking the king's hand in both his hands and he's taller than the king.
Reporter: The President's left hand is at his side.
Aide: The President was just being gracious and following protocol
Reporter: For 200 years, the protocol is that American leaders bow to no one. Remember how Clinton was thrashed for bowing a little too deeply when he met Emperor Akihito from Japan or when Bush held the Saudi king's hand?
Aide: Moving on.

Chili Bob felt my take on the situation was interesting and that I should post it all over the net. In deference to his older and wiser take on things, Cassandra (that's me) speaks.

Have you heard that Obamessiah was not really making a deep obeisance to the Saudi king, but just leaning a little to grasp both his hands since he's so much taller than the king? The apologists are out in full force trying to spin Obamessiah very deep bow to the king (the bow of a servant to his lord) as just a mistaken impression. One person even told me that it's protocol and that the President would be expected to do the same thing with the emperor of China or Japan. Uh, no. Only those people offering their service and fealty to a ruler do that, not the head of a country and certainly not the President of the United States. Obamessiah didn't even bow to the Queen of England, even though that is the protocol. He slightly inclined his head. If the Obamessiahs were so interested in protocol then Michelle wouldn't have neglected to curtsy and would not have touched the Queen without her permission. Just another whitewash job. At this rate, Obamessiah will soon be as white as Michael Jackson.

Cassandra has spoken but no one believes. She was cursed by Apollo to prophesy the truth but never be believed. If you're not sure who Cassandra is, check mythology. Remember Troy? Cassandra prophesied it's destruction.

That is all. Disperse.

Nurturing a viper

When Kevin Costner was at the top of the Hollywood heap, before he made Waterworld he was Lt. Commander Tom Farrell caught in the midst of a murder investigation that would uncover his true identity as a Soviet spy (KGB mole) raised in America to bring the United States down from within. The movie, No Way Out was based on the idea that during the Cold War with Russia they would stop at nothing to infiltrate American society and bring about communism and the death of the American dream.

The premise of the movie -- that a Russian spy could live in the midst of America and be indistinguishable from any other American, one of America's homegrown sons or daughters -- was everything Senator Joseph McCarthy believed was happening in the 1950s when hearings were conducted by the House Committee on Un-American Activities. Many of us over 50 know it as the Red Scare and we still cringe at how McCarthy's paranoia destroyed the lives of many Americans whose only crimes were being creative and curious about communism and the equalities it seemed to offer. What's not to like about having enough food and shelter and working together for the common good? I guess those very intelligent and creative people hadn't read George Orwell's Animal Farm and didn't realize that there is no such thing as a Utopian paradise of equality as long as there are humans involved.

Most people want Utopia. They want to believe that somewhere in human nature is a spark of human decency that keeps us from destroying our fellow man and working for the common good. Unfortunately, as much as we want to believe in the basic humanity of people, it's not there. We are wired to survive at any cost, to battle against nature and each other to secure the immortality of our genes. It's a biological imperative. The fact that biology has nothing to do with ideology doesn't figure into the equation.

McCarthy looked at liberal Hollywood and the breakdown of American morals and mores in the face of Rock and Roll, divorce and the disappearing American dream and he decided that communism was at the root of the national rot. Yes, that is a simplification of what happened, but it's no less true. Communism was Satan and Satan openly attacking the American way of life.

Nature abhors a vacuum -- or that's what we are told to believe. It seems to me that physicists would dispute that claim, especially since space is a giant vacuum that Nature doesn't abhor. That's another post for another time. At least on this planet, Nature abhors a vacuum and seeks to fill it.

In the vacuum that followed the Red Scare of the 1950s, came tolerance and the Love generation of the 1960s, the Age of Aquarius when all men would live as brothers and sisters and be able to cooperate and get along for the good of all mankind. Anything that hinted at McCarthyism was shunned and feared. The pendulum was swinging the other way. We're still not at the high arc of the swing yet, but we're getting there and it's going to cost us when we realize that Sen. Joseph McCarthy may have been paranoid, but he may also have been right. There are spies in our midst and they are determined to destroy the American dream and our way of life.

They are the same spies that are being recognized in nearly every country in the world and their intent is to force the world to choose death or conversion.

Kim Stanley Robinson envisioned that world in The Years of Rice and Salt where the only remaining religions are Buddhism and Islam. But even Robinson didn't see the coming of Shari'a law. We have. We saw it in the news when a man murdered his wife and cut off her head in his television studio offices and claimed he found her that way. We see it throughout Europe where Muslim communities are growing at phenomenal rates, insulated and separate from the countries to which they emigrated, and where their host governments bow to their demands and requests for understanding. It's happening here in America and we don't recognize it for what it is because we're afraid McCarthyism is back with a new agenda since the Berlin Wall came down and Russia is no longer the Big Red Threat. The Cold War with communism is over. We have peace -- or do we?

Rod Dreher, a reporter for the Dallas Morning News sees it differently. He knows our government is nurturing a viper at its breast. The article is long, but it is worth reading.

You can be paranoid and still be right.

Love for sale

Is it really only Wednesday? It feels like it should be Friday already, but that's what happens when spending all available time on work and spring cleaning and more work. At least the bills are paid and I have a couple of dollars left over for something really decadent, like a small ice cream cone at Dairy Queen up the street, or maybe a sour cream and chive potato or Caesar side salad at Wendy's. It's been a tough week, but a productive week, and I even managed to pull together a team for the ham radio exams on Saturday without resorting to begging and offering money.

One thing working all these extra hours provides is less time to waste on things like watching DVDs and taking long walks. I have backed off both and am now taking short walks just to get outside and feel the sun on my skin because it's been a nice couple of days. I also have to be more selective about what I do with time left after working. That put a big hole in many decadent and frivolous activities. But it's all a matter of choice. More money means getting that much closer to buying my own place instead of renting and being able to afford to keep said place from falling down around my ears. It's just like rent that way, a constant drain on the bank account. There are worse things in this world. Like . . . give me a minute . . . like . . . Okay, so it will hit me in the wee hours of the morning, sending me bolt upright in bed from a sound sleep and probably a really good and very salacious dream. Everything changes.

Like Beanie. I talked to her yesterday and she told me she quit smoking three days ago. I asked why. She's doing it for her doctor. He must be a real hunk because nothing I've said to her over the years of her on-again off-again smoking ever made a difference. She wouldn't even do it for her kids, although I don't think they asked, but she's doing it for her doctor. Really! What is this world coming to when family can't guilt you into doing something for your own good? At least she's quitting and that's what's important. Or maybe it's love.

Then there's a close friend who has finally given up on the man of her dreams. She finally got tired of waiting around for him to slot her into his schedule ahead of his various hobbies and projects. She decided that even though he is the only man for her, if he couldn't put her on his schedule on a regular basis she was wasting her time. Instead, she walked quietly away and so far he hasn't noticed. If he's like most men of my acquaintance, it will take him a while to figure out that she's not just busy, she's tired of always coming last. She did consider sending him a bill because he pays more attention to the "friends" he pays. They get top priority on his schedule. The idea of billing him for time spent and services rendered seemed a little too much like prostitution, but then again maybe not.

When Dad was stationed at Fort Monroe in Hampton, Virginia, there was a family that lived across the street from us. Mr. Alexander was stationed at Langley AFB and Mrs. Alexander was a stay at home mom. I remember hearing Mrs. Alexander tell my mom and Mrs. Palmentera how she earned her Xmas money. Her husband paid her every time they had sex. They must have had sex all the time because the Alexander kids, and there were four of them, got some very expensive and really nice gifts every year. Mom laughed but she told Mrs. Palmentera that Mrs. Alexander was like a prostitute.

I never could figure out if Mom was jealous because she didn't think of the idea first or if she was worried she wouldn't get to spend as much money if she and Dad went over to the Alexander Xmas Club method.

Still, the idea has some merit. Maybe some men would treat their girlfriends and wives better if they had to pay for the favors they received. You don't see too many guys missing appointments with their therapists, masseuses, dentists, doctors or personal trainers. When there's money involved, there's suddenly room on their supposedly over crowded schedules that wasn't there before -- or at least not when their girlfriends asked about getting together. Yep, I think money is the answer. After all, isn't a girlfriend's time just as valuable as a masseuse's or doctor's or therapist's?

This is after all a capitalist society and there's no such thing as a free lunch. It may sound mercenary, but I prefer to think of it as just good money sense.

That is all. Disperse.

Roses and Australia

That old black magic has me in its spell, that old black magic that they weave so well.

Roses. Fragrant, beautiful, flourishing roses. I love them, but only if they smell good. Roses, or any flower, that has no fragrance is not for me and I am not for them. Nothing like mixing and mingling a little of the Bard of Avon with a bit of Frank Sinatra to start the day.

I want roses. I'm going to plant roses and dig up the evergreen hedge in the planters surrounding the front and side of my cottage. I'm also going to plant some perennials to encourage butterflies and hummingbirds on this little island of greenery in the sea of asphalt that surrounds me. A few vegetables and some herbs and maybe even a few planters to surround the deck and create a wall of color and beauty. I'm in a nesting phase and I will have a beautiful nest when I'm done, inside and out. I need the fragrance and color to combat the fumes of buses and trucks and traffic and the smell of hot asphalt under the summer sun that give me headaches. A little bit of faery in a land of machines and urban sprawl, not unlike the outback in Australia during the big wet. Now that was something to see. It's too bad the characters who peopled it were so one dimensional.

I'm talking about the movie, Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman, featuring a very brief cameo by Bryan Brown. Now that was a collage of beauty and mediocrity that didn't surprise me.

Nicole Kidman played Lady Sarah Ashley with all the sensitivity and talent of a fifth rate contract actress for Mack Sennett and her acting was little short of slapstick with brief -- very brief -- moments of ability that failed to transcend a stock portrayal of privileged English upper class deigning to set things right among the savages. Even the love scenes were barely believable and she had such wonderful material to work with. Who wouldn't want to kiss and be kissed by Hugh Jackman? Obviously not Kidman because she approached it with all the gusto of eating a slug sandwich.

Hugh Jackman, on the other hand, as Drover was marvelous. While Kidman was chewing the scenery, he was completely at home as the rootless wanderer questing the savage world with an ease and familiarity born partly of talent and mostly of being at home in the landscape and his own skin. He was surprising and had depth. The only depth Kidman seemed to find was in the collagen injected into her trout lips.

I'll never understand why women with perfectly natural lips insist on pumping them up with collagen and steroids so they look like Lisa Rinna or Angelina Jolie. It never works well and they only end up looking bizarre. /rant

The story of the movie is about the lost generation of half caste (white/aborigine) children who are taken from their aborigine mothers (who won't miss them ten minutes after they're gone because they don't have the feelings of a white mother) and forced to live on Missionary Island to be taught by priests how to be white, despite the fact that forcing them to be white doesn't make them white and won't better their lot in white society. They're called Creamies. Lady Ashley and Drover are just the vehicles to tell Nullah's story, a tale of adversity and prejudice and incredible depth and beauty that was marred by Kidman's performance. She was not, however, alone in her over acting and scenery chewing.

She was joined briefly by Bryan Brown as the rapacious cattle baron whose monopoly on providing beef to the military is only exceeded in the greed shown by his second-in-command, Neil Fletcher, played by David Wenham. Wenham's overly melodramatic villain was worse than Brown's greedy cattle baron only because he got more screen time. I'm certain Brown would have been up to the task to overplaying and phoning in his stereotypical drunk with power boss had he had just a few more lines. Brown's portrayal was lazy and uneven while Wenham only lacked a long black mustache to twirl while tying melodramatic Sarah to the railroad tracks. Good thing there were none or this movie could not have been saved by Jackman and the beautiful young boy playing Nullah, Brandon Walters.

Perhaps the most fascinating of all the characters was King George played by aboriginal actor David Gulpilil who was a sphinx of magic and mystery and heart.

A few minor characters managed to pull off their part of the film with workmanlike precision and a touch of talent, but it was hard to get past the awfulness that was Kidman, Brown and Wenham. I expected better of Brown and Wenham and was sadly disappointed.

Even so, the movie is worth seeing if you're depressed and need a laugh or if you just want to be awed by the cinematography that drinks in the stark and surprising beauty of the Australian outback. That is worth the price of the ticket, especially if you're not into seeing the buff and handsome figure of Hugh Jackman wet and half naked or just half naked. Even with a rough beard, he's what makes the Big Wet really wet.

That is all. Disperse.

The crime of Geert Wilders

Have you seen Fitna yet? You should take a look before Jordanian courts extradite Geert Wilders and execute him for blaspheming the Quran. And then you should take a look at the speech Wilders had intended to give to the Houses of Parliament in London about the freedom of speech and the allegations of thought crime using the words of the Quran to make his case.

Wilders quotes Winston Churchill who was ignored in the 1930s when he warned Parliament of Hitler's plans and also Ronald Reagan.

In 1982 President Reagan came to the House of Commons, where he did a speech very few people liked. Reagan called upon the West to reject communism and defend freedom. He introduced a phrase: ‘evil empire’. Reagan’s speech stands out as a clarion call to preserve our liberties. I quote: If history teaches anything, it teaches self-delusion in the face of unpleasant facts is folly.


What Reagan meant is that you cannot run away from history, you cannot escape the dangers of ideologies that are out to destroy you. Denial is no option.


Communism was indeed left on the ash heap of history, just as Reagan predicted in his speech in the House of Commons. He lived to see the Berlin Wall coming down, just as Churchill witnessed the implosion of national-socialism.

In the land where George Orwell imagined the life of London in 1984 and the penalties for thought crimes, Geert Wilders was denied his chance to speak. In a land where men and women were guaranteed the freedom to voice their opposition, as well as their agreement, London, and indeed all of Britain, kowtow to the growing Muslim elements, nurturing a viper at their breasts that willfully segregate themselves from British citizens in their own communities while spreading fear like leprosy, reaching out into every aspect of British life.

Rejuvenation

Snow on Saturday and snow yesterday and nothing this morning from the dry blizzard driven swirl of white crystals. Dry snow doesn't last long in the spring and we haven't had a really good wet snow since the end of March when Denver airport, most of the cities and sections of I-25 were shut down. I want spring to burst out all over but I feel cheated without at least a good long snow to mark winter and it's part of the reason I long to move back up into the mountains where snow means acres of blinding white sparkling under the sun, piled up along the roadways and drifting in among the lodgepole pines where mule deer and elk step delicately or race about among the trees, white sprays fountaining from their passage. There's nothing more majestic than seeing a lone stag or bull at the top of a hill or looking over a bulky shoulder as I drive past to remind me of the wonder and marvels of living out beyond the reach of civilization where macadam covered roads and blacktopped parking lots glare hotly back at the snow and its rising waves of heat push the flying flakes beyond its reach and into the fringes to gather, clump and settle. I miss the snow.

You'd think I wouldn't have time to miss anything, including the snow, with the first round of edits on my novel demanding my attention and planning sessions with the videographer who is doing the book trailer in between working my regular job and reading and reviewing the most recent box of books. And yet I do miss those long silent hours of peace and calm where my only companions were the wildlife and having breakfast with hummingbirds.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy mingling with the rest of humanity but I need a rest from humanity after long exposure, and my exposure has been very long indeed as I get ready to celebrate four years living in town. If I could but take my little cottage and move it up into the higher peaks I would be happy. It's not exactly a cabin, but I could add a log surrounding to add insulation and depth to the walls and build a deck to surround the outside, as long as the landlord would agree to finally fix the leaking roof over my office. Of course, with a log wall at least a foot thick surrounding the outside, I am sure a new roof would be in order and the big window in my office would cease to be a waterfall when the snow melts or the wind drives the rain from the west and south. I think a high peaked roof would be in order and a greenhouse attached to the house to provide fruit and vegetables all year long.

Yes, I'm actually thinking about moving again. Due to a lot of networking and intensive marketing on my part, the novel will hopefully be a success and I can begin to put away the money it will take to buy my land and build my haven near the heavens so I can dip my toes in the flood of the social scene from time to time and cease to be surrounded by people all the time. The brain and the body need at rest from time to time, and I am long overdue. This autumn I might just take a few days and burrow into the mountains to get some untainted air in my lungs and feel the calming touch of silence far from the maddening crowd to recharge my psychic and physical batteries and feed my soul. The mountains are my cathedral and the silence my solace. Besides, I will have deserved it after the marketing push and circuit of lectures, talks and appearances coming up after the launch of the novel. With even more novels coming out, I will need the respite that much more, so a safe place to relax and recuperate will be a major priority. At least here in the cottage I'm halfway to silence most of the time and that's something.

How do you rejuvenate your mind and body?

More than the story

Paul Harvey has branded and made famous the line, "The rest of the story." In fiction, however, you can't leave your audience hanging because it takes times to write the follow-up, the rest of the story. The story has to be told in full -- unless you plan a series of books and have the rest of the story warming up in the publisher's hands and ready to go without too long a wait, although J.K. Rowling managed to make us wait a while for some of Harry Potter's story and Anne Rice had big gaps between books. I'll bet you're not Rowling or Rice. Neither am I. And you're not going to get there if you don't find a way to promote your book that is more creative that just reading excerpts and plugging the tale. You have to give your audience more than the story, as Penny Sansevieri writes in her column on marketing fiction.

I've found my hook for Past Imperfect and that's chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate. The big surprise for me is how interested and willing the restaurants I contacted are to help me with the promotion of the novel and I just met my editor and cover artist. The book won't be out until July, but I have to strike while the iron is hot.

However, when it comes to book signings and events, I won't be able to rely on chocolate. I'm going to have to find something else to brand the book, something outside the story that interests people and keeps them interested enough to tell their friends and everyone they know. That's where the work comes in, and work is the name of the game in not only writing a book but selling it and making sure it continues to sell.

Book trailers and mass mailings are fine, but in the end it is all about branding that keeps a book in the public eye and gives it an edge that won't go dull. Check out the article. You won't be sorry -- if you're a writer and want your book to sell like bottled water on a hot and thirsty day.

That is all. Disperse.

Why are the voices silent?

It's difficult sometimes to sort out the important from the unimportant in the constant flood of information that inundates us from all quarters. We are forced to pick and choose what we feel is important enough to get behind and voice an opinion. Oftentimes, we choose those things that mean something to us -- education, food and gas prices, jobs and who burned the dinner last night -- and it isn't until it's too late that we realize we are not just citizens of our home towns, states and country but citizens of the world.

Once it was easy to ignore what was happening "over there" because we didn't have instant access to world news and letters from friends and relatives overseas sometimes took weeks to reach us. We knew there were starving children in China and Africa, but their plight wasn't real to use, except as a goad to shame children into eating what was on their plates or being shamed for throwing away good food.

We live in a rich and powerful country and it is nearly impossible to imagine the things we take for granted -- life, liberty, freedom, the pursuit of happiness and a job -- are not equally available in other countries. We see, but we do not believe, and so we continue to keep our eyes on our own prizes and forget that we need to look up and see the rest of the world.

We are all connected, not just because we are all humans living on the same planet, but because what we do -- or do not do -- affects everyone around the world. History is full of examples. When we forget how connected we all are we give room for Hitler, the Ayatollah Khomeini, Kruschev, Stalin, Idi Amin, Qaddafi, Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong Il and others like them to gain power and devastate the world and the people in it.

The time when our land was safe from predators and megalomaniacs are gone. Our borders are no longer safe. Terrorists gain easy access to our country and willingly fly planes full of Americans into our cities to destroy us. Leaders of Arab countries exhort their followers to give up their lives to bring in a small suitcase full of anthrax to spread like confetti on the White House lawn and kill 330,000 in a matter of days because it's more efficient than capturing planes to destroy buildings and cities. Hizbollah operatives move like tourists through the underground system of tunnels on the Mexican-U.S. border to bring in guns, disease and bombs in order to spread out across the country and create chaos, leaving death in their wake while we fret over bonuses paid to AIG executives and whether or not the President will be on Oprah or Jay Leno tonight. We ignore the President giving hundreds of billions of dollars to the very terrorists who want nothing more than to see us converted to Islam or destroyed knowing we cannot keep the money from getting into terrorists' hands just as we could not ensure the food and medical supplies we sent to North Korea wouldn't end up on the black market to buy materials and plutonium so North Korea could build an atomic bomb while the people starved and children died.

We are asleep at the wheel, mesmerized by a President who is more interested in jokes and sound bites than in governing this country and standing staunchly beside our allies while he woos and cajoles our enemies.

Where are the people demanding change now? Where are the cries of outrage for slights and outright abandonment of our allies? Why are our voices silent?

It takes no time at all for a world power to slip and fall while the jackals and vultures descend to rip its carcass apart. The USSR is no more. Britain is fighting for its life in an economic tug of war. Australia has been devastated by unchecked wild fires. Israel is drowning in a sea filled with sharks determined to rip her apart. And the U.S. has a clown for a president playing to the cheap seats while he poses and preens and watches the world burn, holding a can of napalm with an open hand out for every terrorist, liar and cheat. Why are the voices of change silent now?

Economic problems solved

I received an email this morning about an article in the St. Petersburg Times about an solution to the problems in our economy.

Great Idea...!

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on
Sunday..

The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix
the
Economy?"

I thought this was the BEST idea....

I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,

Patriotic retirement:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force - Pay them $1 million apiece severance with the following stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house/pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes and have to live on social security like the rest of us…

I'm a journalist of the old school at heart and I have learned to check things out first. I discovered the the email had gone viral and it was just one of several suggestions mentioned in the original article.

Although I love the idea of retiring from work with a million dollars in my hot little hands and getting the economy back on its feet, the idea will cost quite a bundle to get started, forty trillion dollars to begin with. That's how much it would cost to pay $1M to 40 million Americans over 50. Yes, the money would get back into the economy quickly, but how many people are smart enough to bank the money at a good interest rate and live off the interest once they bought a new car and a house, or paid one off?

Of those who responded to the newspaper's query my favorite was:

MAKE STUFF OURSELVES: The only way to fix our American economy is to get back to America and American-made products and American jobs. No outsourcing of any work or any goods or services, no foreign cars or goods allowed in America. We invented cameras, radios, cars, phones, TVs, record players, light bulbs and the list goes on and on. They should be manufactured in America and bought by Americans and sold to foreign countries who want our stuff. … Please CC the president on this one. How could we have become so clueless?

Jeannine Gallagher, Largo

Ms Gallagher is right on one point and right in line with Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. It's all about industrialization and getting back into the business of producing. It's what we did better than any other country in the world, but we have handed jobs and our economy over to Taiwan and China and other third world countries and now they are buying our bonds and expecting a return on their investment, and China is demanding a new world currency that does not include the U.S. dollar.

Did you know that the symbol for the dollar is a combination of the U and S in United States laid over top each other?

Check out the suggestions and I'll bet you'll find a few that make you laugh and a few that will make you think that someone was definitely home when they wrote it.

The best part of the article is that whoever initiated it got people reading the newspaper. It's a gimmick, but it shows that newspapers are not dead yet -- contrary to popular thought.

That is all. Disperse.

Back to front

I am back and I'm glad to be back in the swing of things. I found I have a disturbing and old entrenched habit when I'm not working at my job; I don't eat as often as I should because I get caught up in writing or reading and forget about the time. That's one good thing about having a demanding job, I am always aware of time and the need to get up and move and eat, but not so when I'm writing or reading in the zone. I was actually glad to get back to work on the front lines and that seems strange to me.

The weather during my vacation was a mixed bag of returning spring and warmth and violent winds and snow and cold as if Mother Nature couldn't make up her mind whether or not it is spring. So much for the old saying that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. It was just the opposite this year, like mother nature got her signals mixed up or was wearing her clothes back to front.

One thing I found was that I enjoy bread making, but I'm way out of practice when it comes to kneading. I have the rhythm down but, but my sense of when the dough feels like it has been kneaded enough is rusty, resulting in tough and chewy bread. I'll get it back. It just takes practice. To take my mind off my failure, I indulged in a trip to the grocery store for some eggplant and garlic and found the most luscious strawberries, sweet and succulent that just begged to be dunked in warm chocolate, which brings out the fragrance and sweetness like nothing else. I opted for plain strawberries instead of nestling them in chocolate and some of my chewy homemade Italian herb bread with a breath of melted sweet butter. It wasn't a bad trade-off, but I'm still craving chocolate. Maybe next week.

I also discovered that I'm eating less meat, not because it's not available, but because my cravings were for fruit and vegetables and thick legume-filled soups and stews. I realized most of my meals are vegetarian with the occasional craving for steak or roasted chicken.

While I wallowed in books and caught up on The New York Times Review of Books and other magazines, I also indulged the characters and stories that have been floating around in my mind and popping up in my dreams, and what dreams I've been having. Not your usual run-of-the-mill kind of repressed emotional and strange symbolic dreams, but entire stories, some of which have been simmering on the back burner for quite a while. I wrote a few articles, some stories and finished off another book and I researched, networked and laid the groundwork for marketing and promotion for the new novel, spending so much time on the writing that I ended up catching a bit of a bug that laid me out over the weekend. I did, however, find out some interesting news.

One of my favorite restaurants in the French Quarter in New Orleans moved from its original spot across from the natural history museum on Conti and there's a new chef in town who said he'd be delighted to work with me on a contest to promote the new novel. When I called Godiva headquarters I was told why my favorite ice cream was no longer available and have begun negotiations to work out a contest to coincide with the launch of my novel. I'm still negotiating with restaurants in Philadelphia, Columbus and Kelly's Island, but so far it looks good. What, you may ask, do restaurant and chocolate have to do with my novel? Several scenes take place in real restaurants and I thought it would be a great way to promote the book and get people buying and reading the novel. The contests will revolve around creating a chocolate and caramel dessert and the chefs at the various restaurants will judge the winner and offer the prize: dinner for two with the winning dessert on the menu. It's not an expensive dinner and the contestants will be limited to people in the area or who are going to be in the area. Of course, my novel will be front and center. The restaurants get notice and the cost for them is minimal and I get book sales. I'm still trying to decide whether or not the contest should end to coincide with the launch or whether it would be better to wait until the book is out; I'm seriously thinking about waiting. That way, people have to read the book. It's still a work in progress, but so far everyone is cooperating.

Working up promotional ideas wasn't how I had planned to spend my vacation, but it was a good use of the time and it was fun. What did you do while I was away?

Calling all Muslims

You should have seen this coming, all you Obama maniacs. And now it's here. Where's the separation of church and state now?

Where's the call for Mormons or Quakers or Pagans or Wiccans?

That is all. Disperse.

Thoughts of Karma

I have always been fascinated by the idea of karma, especially when called down on the heads of one's enemies. Case in point:

One malicious miscreant I know, Brent, has called the wrath of karma down on many people's heads, people who have crossed and thwarted his plans and fallen out of grace with him. Time after time he has sworn that he was in the right and karma would get those who flamenco-ed on his toes and he waited for news like a hungry shark waiting for minnow school to let out.

He was moderately successful in his field and chalked up a few points because he was diligent in promoting himself and his agenda. He married a really nice girl who had no idea of his checkered past, except what he told her, and she felt sorry for his trials and tribulations. And then she got a taste of his obsession with an ex-best friend, Max, who he believed had sold him down the river.

Max was unaware of the ongoing drama created or that Brent (also know to friends and foes alike as Bent) stalked him online and in real life. Max just went about his life as if nothing had changed, and for Max nothing had. He had his work, small close circle of friends and family and his hobbies. he and Brent traveled in the same circles but didn't meet: Brent because he got more mileage out of playing the wronged party and Max because he paid attention to his life and didn't get involved in dramatic scenes; he had enough on his plate without borrowing trouble.

Although Max had some difficulties, the way we all have problems from time to time, Brent's initial success began to fade, sputter and look like it was going to die. When his kids complained that he spent too much time cursing Max and that they remembered him as a great guy who treated them like equals and listened to them without talking down to them, Brent blew up. His kids couldn't wait to get out of the house and go away to college, which all three of his kids did without delay. When Brent's wife Penelope told him he was obsessed and that she didn't see anything wrong with Max, Brent accused Penny of having an affair with him.

Each of Max's successes fueled Brent's obsession and his anger and things began to deteriorate. His marriage was in trouble. His work was suffering. He was coasting on his laurels and taking on too much new work that either didn't pay well or faded out of existence because he stretched himself too thin. Brent blamed Max for everything and Max was oblivious.

When things began to near rock bottom, Brent took a look at the past five years and made a startling discovery. Karma wasn't eating Max's lunch, but was having a field day with his blessed and happy life. Could it be that karma was crashing his party because of what he had done to Max?

It is a hard pill to swallow when a person realizes that maybe he was wrong and that all the stories he told were prejudiced in his favor, that he didn't want to admit that the truth was considerably different and that he had been at fault. Karma is touchy and plays no favorites. Even though we all tend to slant things to make ourselves look good or like the victim, the truth is often more than a hair off true. Calling karmic retribution down on our enemies opens us up to being struck by karma's sizzling lightning bolts and having the world crumble beneath our feet. Sometimes it takes a while because karma is usually busy taking someone else down, but karma usually gets around to the real culprit, turning their happy world into a quagmire quickly sinking beneath us and sucking us down.

Want to know the truth of a situation? Watch people's lives. Discount the usual irritations and scattered problems and look for cracks in the idol's feet that no amount of patching repairs. Sometimes the disintegration is slow, but often it is shockingly rapid once it starts.

Brent should have taken a few steps back, cooled off and looked at his friendship with Max with the cold, clear gaze of truth, setting aside his hurt feelings and his tendency to exaggerate the facts. Considering how many people Brent has raped, pillaged and bad mouthed over the years and how many people he has hurt, his realization that karma hitting him wasn't a fluke or a mistake and that he had earned his punishment came too late.

Brent has some good qualities, but they are over shadowed by his insecurities and his need to control everything and everyone around him. He can be marvelously kind and often charming, but they are icing on a manure cake.

Max is slowly gaining respect and success in his field and he has earned it the hard way. He is still an opinionated cuss and has his moments of doubt and laziness, but he is a good and honorable man and that is far more important than being liked by the whole world, as Obamessiah is now finding out to his detriment. Max doesn't talk much, but he walks the talk every step of the way. His opinions and views are often unpopular, but he doesn't care. He has integrity and that counts for a lot.

Karma has a long memory and chases liars, cheats, thieves and politicians down when it gives chase, and karma won't bargain. Pay in this life or for the next 20 lives, but karma will have what is owed -- with interest if it is a long chase. Count on it.

So, if you're wondering whether all the trouble cropping up in your life is the luck of the draw or karmic balance swinging around and you have what you need to take care of your problems without making worse problems, then it's just the statistical probability that shit happens. If not, then check your rear view mirror. Karma is often closer than it appears.

That is all. Disperse.

Freedom of speech: A two-edged sword

My journalist friend in Israel sent me a petition and a link to a cartoon that demonizes Israel. This cartoon.

As I reminded him, and will continue to remind Arab, Jew and Democrat who can't understand the nature of the First Amendment to the Constitution they promised to honor, serve and protect, free speech means the people who hate you have as much right to voice their opinions as you have to voice yours.

That means that when the New Yorker prints a cover that makes fun of Obamessiah or when Danish political cartoonists make fun of the Arabs, and even when the New York Times publishes a political cartoon that portrays Israel as a headless Nazi stormtrooper pushing a Star of David with a shark's head pursuing a woman in chador and her child designated as Gaza off a cliff it is covered by free speech.

The author of the petition is outraged that the New York Times would publish such anti-Semitic filth and calls on everyone to petition the newspaper to apologize and retract the political statement under penalty of losing subscribers and advertisers. Sorry, folks, the Times like most newspapers have enough trouble where subscribers and advertisers are concerned. No petition necessary.

As I explained to my journalist friend, you cannot howl in outrage over a political cartoon that makes you look bad and then howl in outrage when the Arabs are offended by political cartoons that make them look like mad-eyed religious zealots without intelligence or a sense of humor whose only thought in life is to convert or destroy anyone who opposes them. The sword cuts both ways.

The essence of the First Amendment is that you have the freedom to mock and demonize anyone you wish and then stand by and take it like a man when your enemies mock and demonize you. It's the same freedom that saw a Jewish lawyer defend the Ku Klux Klan in front of the Supreme Court to protect their rights even though the Klan would rather burn a Jew than allow him to live.

Freedom of speech is not a light switch you can turn off and on and it is not bludgeon that you can use to punish your enemies indiscriminately. Freedom of speech only works when you can take as good as you give. It means you defend your enemies even when what they say is hateful and degrading and foul.

This is a lesson the Democrats and President Obamessiah and his group fail to understand. You cannot make fun of President Bush without at some point knowing and accepting that people will make fun of you, your policies, your lifestyle and you. You cannot criticize anyone without accepting that people will criticize you. If you shut down any dissenting voice, you shut down your rights as well. You cannot have it both ways. It's time you read the Constitution you promised to honor, respect and defend or step down and let someone who understand the nature of the Constitution and the Amendments that guarantee our freedoms and rights take your place.

Freedom of speech, and indeed all of our guaranteed freedoms, is a two-edge sword that cuts both ways. Defend it or you will find that the sword will cut you equally as deeply as you cut your opponents and enemies.

That is all. Disperse.

The only change you can believe in

They called it Bush's folly and they castigated and blamed and ridiculed him for it, but the proof is in the facts.

With Obamessiah pushing us further and further into debt and blaming it on Bush, it's too bad the numbers don't bear out his story. I'll bet Bush is beginning to look pretty good right about now, especially with a president who is still out there campaigning, probably for the next election in four years, or starting his speaking tour early instead of getting down to work in the Oval Office.

When invited to be the commencement speaker for Notre Dame University, I'll bet the dean and board expected everyone to applaud and stand in line for tickets to hear Obamessiah give another one of his hope and change speeches, but that's not going to happen. Some Catholics are outraged. But the great teleprompter speaker is already busy lining up his next Iranian grovel-fest at the second Alliance of Civilizations forum so he can beg Iran to unclench its fist, especially since so far his groveling and begging have worked so well. Where's a strong president when you need one? Well, if it's Obamessiah, he's probably scheduling another visit to Oprah or Conan O'Brien since he's already done Letterman and Leno.

What we need is change we can believe in and so far the only thing I can believe in is what changes I've already seen, like the devaluation of the dollar, bait and switch on the bailouts, Obamessiah and the politicos on Capitol Hill accepting campaign funds from troubled AIG that they refuse to give back while demanding that AIG void previous contracts with their employees and give back bonuses they are contractually obligated to pay, erasing trillions of dollars of toxic assets while printing more and more paper money that will end up in Europe, China and third world countries' vaults while China, our biggest lender, demands the world find any other currency that isn't the U. S. dollar to use as the standard. None of those things happened on Bush's watch, but you can be sure the great apologist and blame claimer, Obamessiah, will quip about it on one of his many public appearances while shucking and jiving and whining that it's not his fault, he inherited this mess.

Yes, Obamessiah inherited the pork fest (Stimulus bill) that he crammed down the taxpayers' throats and called it good and then crammed another pork fest (Omnibus bill) down the taxpayers' throats while he was busy jacking up the national debt to over $3 trillion, and he's sliding for over $8 trillion in national debt. Yes, that's Bush's fault. That's the transparent government Obamessiah promised, except so far the only transparency has been handing over Bush's memos in the wake of 9/11 while stonewalling the press and the American people and hiding behind Pelosi's Machiavellian machinations as the Democratic liberals get out their dusty wish lists and shoehorn them into every bill they're writing and racing through Congress on Mercury's winged feet.

I'll bet you wish Bush was still in the White House now -- or you soon will as Obamessiah and his political shills keep pumping up the national debt.

That is all. Disperse.

Seeing Obamessiah's victory through foreign eyes

Someone forwarded me an editorial purportedly published in the London Daily Mail about Obamessiah's victory. What I read mirrored my feelings and beliefs, but I couldn't indiscriminately send it on without checking out the source and verifying it was published in the Daily Mail. It wasn't. It was part of a column written by Canadian journalist, Michael Coren, for the Toronto Sun on November 8, 2008.

The text follows:

A young student friend e-mailed me on Tuesday night.

"Have locked myself in my room because the place is full of little idiots -- who cannot spell Barack Obama's name and could not name one of his foreign or domestic policies -- running around screaming obscenities about George Bush, conservatives and how Sarah Palin is a bitch. I love democracy!"

Even so, the people spoke. A victory for the hysterical Oprah Winfrey, the mad racist preacher Jeremiah Wright, the mainstream media who abandoned any sense of objectivity long ago, Europeans who despise America largely because they depend on her, comics who claim to be dangerous and fearless but would not dare attack genuinely powerful special interest groups. A victory for Obama-worshippers everywhere.

A victory for the cult of the cult. A man who has done little with his life but has written about his achievements as if he had found the cure for cancer in between winning a marathon and building a nuclear reactor with his teeth. Victory for style over substance, hyperbole over history, rabble-raising over reality.

A victory for Hollywood, the most dysfunctional community in the world. Victory for Streisand, Spielberg, Soros and Sarandon.

Victory for those who prefer welfare to will and interference to independence. For those who settle for group think and herd mentality rather than those who fight for individual initiative and the right to be out of step with meagre political fashion.

Victory for a man who is no friend of freedom. He and his people have already stated that media has to be controlled so as to be balanced, without realizing the extraordinary irony within that statement. Like most liberal zealots, the Obama worshippers constantly speak of Fox and Limbaugh, when the vast bulk of television stations and newspapers are drastically liberal and anti-conservative.

Senior Democrat Chuck Schumer said that just as pornography should be censored, so should talk radio. In other words, one of the few free and open means of popular expression may well be cornered and beaten by bullies who even in triumph cannot tolerate any criticism and opposition.

WEAK TOWARD ENEMIES

A victory for those who believe the state is better qualified to raise children than the family, for those who prefer teachers' unions to teaching and for those who are naively convinced that if the West is sufficiently weak towards its enemies, war and terror will dissolve as quickly as the tears on the face of a leftist celebrity.

A victory for social democracy even after most of Europe has come to the painful conclusion that social democracy leads to mediocrity, failure, unemployment, inflation, higher taxes and economic stagnation. A victory for intrusive lawyers, banal sentimentalists, social extremists and urban snobs.

Also a defeat for one of the weakest presidential candidates in living memory.

Why would anyone vote for a man who seemed incapable of outlining his policies and instead repeatedly emphasized a noble but, if we are candid, largely irrelevant war record?

He was joined by a woman who was defended so vehemently by her supporters when it was cuttingly evident that she is years away from being, and perhaps never will be, a serious candidate for senior national office.

Most of all it was a terrible defeat for democracy and the United States. A politician of nothing defeated a nothing politician and a credulous electorate screamed in adoration. I fear we will all suffer very much indeed.

That is all. Disperse.

Draining wealth and brains

Nothing like hard truth to put things into perspective and to make a lesson crystal clear.

My first solo novel comes out in July and I decided to get the jump on marketing. In order to put over a novel in this market, it takes work, hard work, and a lot of time (there goes my vacation) to talk to people, put together book signings, contests and products as a gift with purchase. I don't expect businesses to host a book signing for free, but I also do not have the money to pay for a lavish book launch, and neither does my publisher. At this time in this world the writer must not only write the books but promote and sell them as well, and that takes ingenuity, time and a lot of work, which brings me to the hard truth and the crystal clear lesson.

The new government is all about hope and change and that means attacking the people who are successful and work hard for their money. I know. It's easy to hate the rich, but not everyone who seems rich got that way by cheating people or manipulating money, stocks and politics. Some people actually worked hard for their money and they're entitled to enjoy it. Why? Because they earned it.

If I am successful in selling lots of books and building a fan base that will keep buying books, then I will end up with a good sum of money, enough money to quit working as a wage slave and work full time as writer. If I'm very successful marketing and promoting my books and gain some name recognition, then I will have earned every single dollar I make, so why would I want to let the government have it to redistribute it to people who don't care enough about themselves or have something to sell, people who will not and do not want to work as hard as I did? Why? Suddenly, I understand what it's like to work hard and become successful just to have the government come along and take away what I worked so hard to earn.

America is a wonderful country full of opportunities to build wealth -- if you're willing to work hard for it. I'm not talking about real estate schemes or pyramid schemes or Ponzis or selling something for nothing, like junk bonds. I'm talking about a real product with real worth, like a book or an electric car or new kind of motor or something tangible. Since the 1960s with the expansion of welfare and food stamps and other government entitlement programs people have expected the government to take care of them instead of working hard and finding their own way to make money. And everyone wants to be rich quick, and you can bet they will hang onto their money as if their lives depended upon it. Wealth looks very different from the other side.

If the current trend to rape and pillage the wealthy in the name of equalization of opportunity and redistribution of wealth continues, America is going to see the world that John Galt created and the brain drain will become a reality here as it is elsewhere in the world were brains and opportunity are just another way for government to rape and pillage their greatest and most prolific resource. No one wants to work hard and watch someone else take their hard work and earnings and give it away to some lazy schlub that would rather be a parasite on someone else's backside than work. Why work when the government will hand it over to you because you need it more? Where's the incentive to work, to earn, to become something more?

I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to damning the wealthy. I've looked at someone with more than I have who can go out for a meal in a nice restaurant or go on a nice vacation or buy what they want without juggling the budget. And it's not just money or a house or things that I wish I had that someone else didn't, sometimes it's more personal. Why them and not me? It's my fault. I chose to accept less and not to strive for more because -- and here come the excuses, all of which boil down to one thing: because I didn't want it enough.

It's easy to want what someone else has and hard to get off the couch, stop whining and complaining and go get your own. Not everyone who has made a success of their lives and has some money is a greedy parasite out to cheat people out of their money. Some people worked hard for what they have and they shouldn't have to defend it or apologize for it. I see that now as I spend hours on the phone talking to business owners and companies in order to get their cooperation in promoting my books. The long hours of planning and research that go into marketing and promoting a book that isn't even available yet, finding someone to create a stunning book trailer and going over my budget to see how much money I can free up and what I can afford to buy and give away in order to entice people to buy my books take time and effort and brains, and it is a lot of hard and grueling work for someone like me who just wants to write. Every dime I make I will have earned the hard way and the only reason for working so hard is because I want my books to be successful.

The hope is that when all is said and done I will be financially stable and free to quit a job I tolerate to do a job I love. If all this work and effort makes me successful and I become wealthy, why should I be willing to let the government -- or anyone -- tell me I have to share it with people who aren't so fortunate? Yes, it's selfish. Yes, it's self serving. And I do not care.

Those people who aren't so fortunate have the same chances that I do to dig in, work hard and become successful and wealthy, or at least comfortable, but first they have to stop blaming the wealthy for their problems and get off their dead hind ends and work for it. The majority of the wealthy who didn't inherit their wealth or steal it by shady deals and con games are decent people who worked long and hard. They're decent people who put themselves first and did whatever the work required to become successful. They should be treated as heroes, as evidence that hard work pays off, not as marks or private ATMs for the lazy and shiftless parasites that expect something for nothing. They should be respected and honored and held up as examples of what is possible, not envied and hated.

When -- not if -- my success comes, if the government decides to redistribute my wealth, they will find me gone. Maybe to Ireland where artists and writers pay no income tax or to a country where hard work and wealth are no longer a crime. I'm selfish. I intend to keep what I earn.

We don't need your permission

Is anyone else bothered by the news that Congress voted itself an 11% raise while the military got only a 2.9% raise?

Only in Congress do the workers determine their own wages without asking their employers first. It doesn't work the same way in the private sector.

Oh, yes, I forgot. It does in some businesses where labor unions decide how much work will be done at what rate and for what pay with what benefits without the sanction of the employer. No wonder there are so many liberals in Congress right now. It all begins to make sense.

Too bad Congress doesn't go on strike. We could use the break.

That is all. Disperse.

Redistribute the wealth the right way

The more I read and hear about the way Washington is handling the economic crisis and what's been going on that Congress has done behind the scenes, the more I realize we need a fresh voice to set things right. I am not an economist, but I do know you can't pay off a debt by borrowing more money and shutting down the people that bring in the goods. I have an alternative plan.

First of all, not everyone who makes over $200,000 a year is wealthy. With inflation, that's middle class at best, but the people at the bottom of the middle class and edging into the lower class are furious that some people are making more money than they are. I have news for you. If you want more money, get a better job, go to college, work your butt off and ask for more money when you get the job and prove you have the goods to back up your attitude. Increasing taxes on people who make over $200K is not going to help the economy and it's going to piss off a lot of people. It seems like these people are wealthy because they make in one month what it takes the average American to make in a year, but most of these people have worked long and hard and earned what they're getting.

It's time to step back, check the facts and come up with a better plan, so let's start at the top.

1. All congressmen and senators will no longer be able to vote themselves a raise if the economy is in a slump. If they want a raise, they will have to go to the people who pay the bills, the taxpayers, and let them vote on whether or not a raise is in order.

2. Terms in office will be limited to two. After that, you're out. Pick up your last paycheck and go home, and it will be your last paycheck. The government gravy train is now closed for business. You will also have to pay for your own health care (you make enough money, so stop taking the food out of the taxpayers' mouths and the money out of their wallets). You will no longer get a pension. What you made during your time is office is all you get. There ain't no more. Like I said, the government gravy train is closed. You will be paid during your term in office and not beyond. That also goes for presidents and vice-presidents. Secret service will continue to watch over you for two years after you've stepped down from office. You will make enough from speaking engagements, whatever job you go back to and what you managed to save from your salary while in office to pay for your own security after that. Besides, since you no longer hold office, you won't be a target. Presidents and vice-presidents will also pay for their own health care since their salaries are sufficient to take care of themselves and their families. If your salary isn't enough to afford health care, then maybe it's time to fix the system we have so it works for everyone and not just for you.

3. All businesses knowingly employing illegal aliens will be taxed at a higher rate. E-Check is available to make sure the people you hire have valid social security numbers, so use it, or lost a bigger chunk of your profits.

4. All business and corporations that outsource their jobs and business will be taxed at a higher rate. Tax breaks will be given to those businesses that bring the jobs home and pay decent wages for their people.

5. Illegal aliens must learn to speak English or they will not be eligible for a green card or citizenship or a job. Since most illegal aliens send money back to their home countries, all foreign aid to those countries will cease. Since America is already funding their economy and there will be no more double dipping.

6. Small business owners who make more than $200K a year will be given access to loans and tax breaks to increase their business and hire more employees. All loans will be granted with a low interest rate and will be reviewed annually. Successful businesses will be extended further credit to expand and hire more employees and businesses that fail will be investigated to find out why. Business owners found to have been cheating their customers or running a shell game to get government money will have their loans revoked, all assets seized and be given a government job building roads or making license plates.

7. Individuals who make more than $200K will not be taxed at a higher rate, but individuals who make over $400K a year will be taxed at a slightly higher rate if their income does not derive from their own business. Investment bankers, stock brokers, politicians and corporate execs of businesses being run into the ground and found to be responsible for the failures will be taxed at the higher rate. If they cannot pay the higher rate, their assets will be seized and sold to pay their debt.

8. Military personnel and their families and teachers will be paid at a living wage commensurate with their background, skills and education. No longer will a teacher or military family be forced to live on food stamps. These people are the backbone of this country and will be honored and paid accordingly. Since congressional members will no longer get free health insurance, exorbitant pay raises and live at the taxpayers' for decades, there will be more than enough money to take care of the military and teachers.

9. All politicians at all levels will return all campaign or other funds received from businesses the government has been forced to bail out and all bonuses, regardless of previous contractual commitments, will cease. This includes Senator McCain, certain representatives and other senators in Congress, the Vice President and the current President of the United State who all received in excess of $100K from AIG and other businesses and banks that received bailout money. Effective immediately. There is no reason for any of these people to posture and act indignant when they are just as guilty as executives who received billions in bonuses for doing a lousy job and running businesses into the ground to fund their greed. All monies will be returned to the bailed out businesses, banks, etc. immediately and will be done publicly.

Now that is how you redistribute the wealth.

That is all. Disperse.

Life in three dimensions

It's a struggle whether or not to talk about the fire yesterday at the 7-Eleven just a few blocks from here and the young girl who died or find something more positive. It's always hard to deal with a young person's death, so much possibility and promise gone in a flash, but to know that I heard the sirens and was so intent on work that I didn't even blink is a little surprising to me. I don't chase ambulances or fire trucks, but they have become so commonplace since I moved to the city that it's like a callus worn over tender flesh. It's hard to feel through it. I'm sad for the girl's family and for her friends, but unfortunately -- or fortunately -- it's all part of life. To dwell on it is to miss the best part of life and that's living. Does that sound callous? It's not meant to be.

So many times I get lost in the day to day minutiae of cooking, cleaning, dishes, eating, work and the usual round of chores, so much so that I forget to step outside and just breathe, drink in the sunshine and languish to the sound of birds and children playing. Yesterday when I went out to check the mail, a group of children were sitting on the school steps, on the ground and a couple in chairs and on the short retaining wall with big sketch pads on their laps. Some faced each other, but most of them faced my cottage, sketching like mad, recording the scenes in front of them, freezing a moment or a feeling or both in time and they made me long for a sketch pad and charcoal or pencil or pastels and to just sit in the warm sunshine and feel the flow of nature in my fingers as I sketched and shaded and drew.

I miss drawing. I miss being able to pick up a pencil and catching the expression on an interesting face or feeling a brush moving across a canvas leaving a trail of color, light and shadow behind as details coalesce and become more real, more there, just more. I used to spend hours painting and drawing, lost in a world of color, light and darkness where everything made sense. A line became a curve and a curve defined a face or a momentary smile. There was a sense of order, a cause and effect that resonated. Even a chance drip of paint or a shaky line became part of the whole, a quirk of imagination that lent subtle charm and depth to what could have been a wooden, static representation, and the faces that emerged on the page or the canvas were more than just pictures, they were the essence hiding in the eyes and behind the sardonic smile. They were three-dimensional. Eyes followed and smiles changed from moment to moment. They breathed.

And I wonder if somewhere in an obligatory art class the girl who died in the fire yesterday is captured on paper or canvas where she too breathes and lives.

Excess and eccentricity

One of the best parts about being a book reviewer is being surprised by what books arrive in the mail. One of the worst parts about being a book reviewer is being surprised by what books arrive in the mail.

One of the books I got this time around was purportedly a humorous memoir. It was also a Christian memoir overflowing with Bible verses, half pages of verses and citations and prayers and, even though some of the prayers were funny, most of them were tedious. Every chapter contained some heavy-handed Christian dogma and, while I understand and appreciate religious zealotry, it was also also a bit much.

At times like these, I focus on the story and the tale being told. I don't share the author's beliefs or his way of looking at and dealing with things, but I respect his right to do so. I'm a reviewer. I don't have to believe or even share a writer's faith, just critique how well he writes and gets his point across. Sometimes it's hard to do, but that's why I get paid the big bucks.

I have to admit there were times I laughed out loud, but Southern writers are all about excess and eccentricity and they put their madness right out on the front porch in the rocking chair with a pitcher of sweet tea close to hand. Southerners are proud of their loony relatives, not like the rest of the country who hide their mad relatives in the attic or in nursing homes and sanitariums, although nowadays they call them spas or treatment centers.

They Popped My Hood and Found Gravy on the Dipstick is as Southern and funny as it gets and in that respect Todd Starnes did a good job. It's a Christian book and that should guide every reader's decision. If you don't mind the constant references to church brothers, sisters and families or Bible verses or the Christian agenda, plow ahead and enjoy yourself. There is a lot to like and Todd's story is an amazing journey from the abyss looking at death to running a New York marathon, a journey that covers the loss of 150 pounds and of both of his parents as he turns his life around, but refuses to give up BBQs and all things pig.